Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Poem: [you can't see earth]

By Jack Brummet



[you can’t see earth]

1
You can't see earth
From the dark side of the moon
But maybe that changes

With the accelerating deceleration
Of the moon and earth.
A waning Gibbous moon

Dangles 1.3 light seconds away
And The Sea of Tranquility
Looks like a menacing sinkhole.

2
The moon
And the fog
Are in cahoots.

The mist slithers in,
Wraps itself around houses,
Trees, shrubs, and churches,

And threads its way
Along the ground,
Like a horror movie fog.

I wonder if the fog and moon
Really trigger
Mayhem, madness, and murder?

But then I don't actually know
If our brains have tides,
Or if they do, if it matters.
---o0o---

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

ATIT Reheated: From 7 years ago, a list of our favorite disclaimers

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor


From ATIT in November 2004. . .this is one of my favorite lists by Jack (and there have been many).  He collected various disclaimers for years and published this, his first list ever, during the first month of All This Is That's existence.

  • For entertainment only, do not put in mouth or rectum.
  • Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To Fly.
  • All models over 18 years of age.
  • Rolling rock.
  • Contents may settle during shipment.
  • Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents of this container can be harmful or fatal.
  • No alcohol, dogs or horses.
  • No Life Support.
  • REPRODUCTION REQUIRES APPROVAL OF ORIGINATOR OR HIGHER GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY.
  • This is an Official U.S .Government system for authorized use only.
  • Do not Discuss, Enter, Transfer, Process, or Transmit Classified/Sensitive National Security information of greater sensitivity than that for which this system is authorized.
  • Use of this system constitutes consent to security testing and monitoring.
  • Unauthorized use could result in criminal prosecution.
  • You must not find images of adults engaged in sexual acts to be offensive or objectionable; you must understand the laws and standards of the community to which you are transporting this adult material and you must assume all the liability for violating such laws and standard by entering this site; you may not allow any minor to view any of the material or images found by accessing this site.
  • This product is meant for educational purposes only.
  • Keep out of the direct rays of the sun.
  • Caution: Do Not Lick Lid.
  • The value of shares (and any income from them) may fall as well as rise, and you may not get back the full amount invested.
  • All Rights Reserved.
  • Tumble dry on low heat.
  • No preservatives added.
  • Discontinue use if any of the following occur: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance, slurred speech, or profuse sweating.
  • Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not constitute or imply its endorsement.
  • Not fit for human consumption.
  • Do not change fan belt while engine is running.
  • Some of these pages may be offensive to sensitive people.
  • Your mileage may vary.
  • Celebrity voice impersonated.
  • Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God; neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc).
  • WARNING: Contents under pressure.
  • Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury.
  • Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health.
  • Point away from people, especially while opening.
  • Any Other Use Constitutes Fraud.
  • Serve ice cold.
  • May explode if recharged improperly.
  • Apply Liberally And Regularly.
  • No illegal files, programs, or other information shall be made available from this server.
  • First pull up, then pull down.
  • Call toll free number before digging.
  • Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
  • The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom.
  • No anchovies or jalapeƱo peppers unless otherwise specified.
  • Sold only for the prevention of disease.
  • Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
  • Not for internal use.
  • HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE.
  • The information contained in this document represents the current view of Microsoft Corporation on the issues discussed as of the date of publication.
  • Microsoft cannot guarantee the accuracy of any information presented after the date of publication.
  • Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated.
  • Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping.
  • The University has neither control over nor responsibility for the opinions or correct identity of users.
  • May be too intense for some viewers.
  • Apply sparingly to affected area.
  • Warning: Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
  • In no event shall Microsoft or its suppliers be responsible for any damage or loss incurred by using this software.
  • Best if eaten by date of package.
  • Void where prohibited.
  • Member FDIC.
  • Some assembly required.
  • Use only as directed.
  • Parental supervision required.
  • Accepted By The American Dental Association.
  • ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! List each check separately by bank number.
  • Batteries not included.
  • Use only as directed.
  • No Minimum Purchase Required.
  • No other warranty expressed or implied.
  • Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
  • Postage will be paid by addressee.
  • Subject to CAB approval.
  • This is not an offer to sell securities.
  • Do not mix with other products.
  • Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been instructed to tune to a local emergency broadcast station.
  • Apply only to affected area.
  • Warning! Improper use may cause serious injury or death! Keep hair, fingers, and personal objects out of this printer.
  • Do Not Exceed 6 Doses In A 24-Hour Period.
  • Do not feed the animals.
  • Do not stamp.
  • See other side for additional listings.
  • For recreational use only.
  • Do not disturb.
  • You May Already Be A Winner.
  • Simulated by professionals.
  • See your dealer for details.
  • If condition persists, consult your physician.
  • No user-serviceable parts inside.
  • Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
  • Subject to change without notice.
  • Times approximate.
  • Simulated picture.
  • No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
  • Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
  • For off-road use only.
  • As seen on TV.
  • All opinions and errors are the those of the respective authors.
  • One size fits all.
  • This side up.
  • Many suitcases look alike.
  • Best When Purchased By Date On Bottom.
  • Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
  • Colors may, in time, fade.
  • We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
  • Slippery when wet.
  • For office use only.
  • Temporarily Out Of Order.
  • Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
  • We did what we could to pass good information on to you, but if we goofed, you knew all along to check it out for yourself.
  • Drop in any mailbox.
  • Edited for television.
  • Keep cool; process promptly.
  • Contains no artificial colors or ingredients.
  • Post office will not deliver without postage.
  • This product is delivered as is.
  • List was current at time of printing.
  • Action figures sold separately.
  • Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
  • Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
  • At participating locations only.
  • Not the Beatles.
  • Penalty for private use.
  • See label for sequence.
  • Discontinue Use If Rash Persists.
  • Names Used Are Fictitious.
  • All efforts have been made to locate and identify copyright holders of all copyrighted materials.
  • Complies with FCC part 15.
  • Do Not Operater Vehicle With Screen In Place.
  • Offer Good While Supplies Last.
  • Police Line Do Not Cross.
  • Use This Number In All Correspondence.
  • Violators Will Be Prosecuted.
  • Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
  • Close cover before striking.
  • Do not write below this line.
  • Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
  • Your canceled check is your receipt.
  • Add toner.
  • Place stamp here.
  • Avoid contact with skin.
  • Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
  • Do not mix with other products.
  • Sign here without admitting guilt.
  • Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
  • Employees and their families are not eligible.
  • Beware of dog.
  • Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
  • Limited time offer: call now to ensure prompt delivery.
  • You must be present to win.
  • No passes accepted for this engagement.
  • No purchase necessary.
  • You may not modify, adapt, translate, reverse-code, decompile, or disassemble the Software, or make any attempt to discover the source code to the Software.
  • This space left blank intentionally.
  • Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
  • Shading within a garment may occur.
  • Use only in a well-ventilated area.
  • Keep away from fire or flames.
  • Replace with same type.
  • Approved for veterans.
  • Booths for two or more.
  • Unauthorized access attempts or use may subject you to a fine and/or imprisonment in accordance with Title 18, USC, Section 1030 or administrative penalaties or dismissal.
  • Check here if tax deductible.
  • Some equipment shown is optional.
  • Price does not include taxes.
  • No Canadian coins.
  • Not recommended for children.
  • Prerecorded for this time zone.
  • Reproduction strictly prohibited.
  • No solicitors.
  • No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
  • Restaurant package, not for resale.
  • List at least two alternate dates.
  • First pull up, then pull down.
  • Call toll free number before digging.
  • Driver does not carry cash.
  • Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
  • Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
  • Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
  • Do not expose to rain.
  • No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
  • DISSEMINATION AND EXTRACTION OF INFORMATION CONTROLLED BY ORIGINATOR.
  • Package sold by weight, not volume.
  • Your mileage may vary.
  • This supersedes all previous notices.
  • This Does Not Supply Iodine.
---o0o---

a bigfoot encounter

By Jack Brummet, Paranormal Editor
illustration by Jack Brummet

In North America (hey! including the brothers and sisters in Canada) there are myriad stories of Bigfoot kidnappings and sex with native women. Here's one story from a book written by Dr. Ed Fusch: "Seweneytl And The Stick Indians Of The Colville". The book contains dozens of accounts of Native American interactions with "large bipedal hominids". To us, this story about a Colville Indian bride stood out the most as it was summarized in Monster DNA and Ancestory by Ray Crowe:


Credit: www.colvilletribes.com

"Perhaps the most famous is the one in a rare book of Dr. Ed Fusch, “Seweneytl And The Stick Indians Of The Colville.” He tells of the Lake Band of the Colville Indians. They had a fishing camp in the late 1890’s near Keller, Washington, on the San Poil River."

"The recent pretty bride had gone for water when the camp heard the Indian maiden scream. The men thought a bear might be threatening or attacking the bride and rushed to her aid and they could only stand and watch in awe as the bride disappeared in the distance in the arms of a Skanicum (local Bigfoot name)."

"The remainder of the summer the men hunted for the lost bride searching every nook and cranny, but without luck. Finally at the end of summer they found her while she was gathering roots as the Skanicum slept. She was pregnant from the seed of the monster that had forced her to satisfy his desires. Months later she bore a half-monster child – a son. She named him Patrick. And Patrick survived and grew up to become a member of the tribe."
"Patrick was ugly. A tiny troll of a sub-human hybrid. He was hump-backed and only 5’4” tall with arms that hung down to his knees. There was a sloped forehead, a large mouth, and a large lower jaw with protruding teeth. He grew up, being considered quite bright and affluent; enough that he found a wife and lived a successful married life. He reached the ripe old age of 30, and was buried on the Colville Reservation."
"Patrick had a full family life, siring three daughters and two sons that died early. The girls were Mary Louise, Madeline, and Stella, who also died early. Mary Louise lived near Omak and it was said that her paternal grandfather was a Skanicum, although she was relatively normal in appearance; although both girls were said to have protruding teeth, wide mouths, and were squint eyed."
"Madeline lived near the Washington coast, and was said to be incredibly ugly. An alcoholic, she spent much of her time in taverns. Dr. Fusch is, last I heard, was unsuccessful in trying to track her down to get a DNA sample which might have been illuminating."
---o0o---

Monday, December 05, 2011

#OWS: The Re-occupation

---o0o---

Poem: Failure


Failure
By Jack Brummet

I try over and over to slap the stink-eye
On those who trespass
Against me.

I stand in the yard at midnight,
Sending invites to the greys.
They keep right on moving.

I sit in meetings,
Trying to hypnotize
The speaker droning

On about something
That won't really matter.
I focus every electron of thought

On my perceived enemies,
And they always wake up.
Either telepathy fails me

Or I fail telepathy,
With a brain
That refuses to transmit.
---o0o---

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Friday, December 02, 2011

Logo

A 3D copy of you

By Mona Goldwater, Technology Editor




Real-F is offering an amazingly detailed 3D face mask of you for $3,920.  A copy of your entire head will run you $5,875.  But after the first one, discounts come in...additional faces and heads cost $780 and $1,960.

Real-F's "Three -Dimension Photo form (3DPF)" technique allows them to duplicate pores, eye's blood vessels and iris exactly like the original, the original being you.

I would love to have a bunch of these and walk the streets with my platoon of clones. . .


You can find them here, on Facebook, or at their Website.  Only four grand: what have you got to lose?
---o0o---

The 1919 Seattle General Strike

By Jack Brummet, Seattle Metro Editor


The Occupy Oakland General Strike made me remember studying the 1919 Seattle General Strike in a Labor Union class in college.  Oakland also had a very successful general strike in the 1940's. And they had another effective one a few weeks ago as part of the Wall Street Uprising.  It got a lot of attention, and nothing bad happened; it helped shore up OO; the Oakland P.D. did not leap in with a disproportional response, that night anyhow.

Twenty years after the Seattle strike, in 1936, James Farley, the Postmaster under FDR, said "there are 47 states in the Union, and the Soviet of Washington," referring to the leftist movements in the state, and especially in Seattle, where the general strike had occurred.  There have been similar quotes over the years, referring to the Supreme Soviet of Seattle. . .

The Seattle Star's last ditch effort to stop the General Strike

The Seattle General Strike of February 1919 was the first real city-wide labor action in America to be acknowledged by the media (then, radio, magazines, and newspapers) as a "general strike."   The strike happened due to the heavy presence of radical labor unions in the Pacific Northwest, the strong influence of the IWW [International Workers of the World, sometimes referred to as IWW:"I Won't Work."], although they were not heavily involved, and because of the vast numbers of workers and soldiers who were recently out of work due to the end of World War I.

The strike lasted less than a week, but inspired other strikes and was one of the triggers of the Great Red Scare of 1919.  This strike frightened people (well, mainly the 1%-ers of the early 20th century) because it was generally believed the strike was fomented by Communists/Bolsheviks, who successfully revolted in Russia two years earlier.   The Wikipedia says the fallout from the strike was "the first concentrated eruption of the anti-Red hysteria that characterized the Red Scare of 1919."

In an editorial in the Seattle Union Record, a union newspaper, activist Anna Louise Strong tried to describe the general strike's power and potential:
"The closing down of Seattle's industries, as a MERE SHUTDOWN, will not affect these eastern gentlemen much. They could let the whole northwest go to pieces, as far as money alone is concerned."
"But, the closing down of the capitalistically controlled industries of Seattle, while the workers organize to feed the people, to care for the babies and the sick, to preserve order--this will move them, for this looks too much like the taking over of power by the workers."
"Labor will not only Shut Down the industries, but Labor will reopen, under the management of the appropriate trades, such activities as are needed to preserve public health and public peace. If the strike continues, Labor may feel led to avoid public suffering by reopening more and more activities."
"UNDER ITS OWN MANAGEMENT."
"And that is why we say that we are starting on a road that leads--no one knows where!"
Newspaper across the country reprinted excerpts from Strong's editorial.


"The strike began in shipyards that had expanded rapidly with war production contracts. 35,000 workers expected a post-war pay hike to make up for two years of strict wage controls imposed by the federal government." (From an article in the The Seattle Times on March 31, 1996)


When the regulators refused to lift the wage caps, the Metal Trades Council union alliance declared a strike and closed the shipyards.   The Metal Trades Council pleaded for support from the Central Labor Council and virtually all of the city’s 110 local unions voted to join a sympathy walkout. 


Local and national press vehemently denounced the strike, and the conservatives called for extreme measures to snuff what they felt was a revolutionary/Anarchist/Bolsheviki plot. Mayor Ole Hanson, elected the year before (with heavy labor union support), armed the police and threatened to declare martial law and bring in federal troops to prevent the strike.

Some of the unions caved early on, and by the time the Central Labor Council officially declared an end on February 11, most unions had already gone back to work.

After the strike, reprisals against "the Reds," specifically the IWW, and Socialist Party, began.  Their HQ were raided, and the leaders thrown in jail.  Federal agents closed the Union Record, the labor-owned daily newspaper, and arrested several of its staff members.

Around the country, headlines screamed the news that Seattle had been saved, that the revolution had been broken, and, as Mayor Ole Hanson said,  “Americanism” had triumphed over “Bolshevism.”  The mayor promised to preserve order and do whatever it took to protect life and property. A few months after the strike was over, Hanson resigned and made a small fortune on a lecture tour, talking about the strike and the evils of Bolshevism. 

An anti-syndicalism law passed by the state Legislature early in its 1919 session was used as a basis for numerous raids on Socialist and radical labor headquarters, police disruption of meetings, and the arrest of suspected revolutionaries.

When three marchers were mysteriously shot in Centralia's 1919 Armistice Day parade, vigilantes retaliated by lynching a radical union leader, Wesley Everest. The Seattle Union Record's sympathetic coverage of the union side prompted federal marshals to suspend publication of the paper for several days, charging its editor with sedition.

Slowly, things returned to what passes for normal in Seattle.
---o0o---

Thursday, December 01, 2011

The rules from Zombieland

By Jack Brummet, Film Editor

I really liked this movie a lot. . .and the rules were good.  Of the 32 or 33 rules alluded to by Columbus in the film, these are the ones specifically mentioned.


Cardio (Rule #1) Build up that endurance.

Limber Up (Rule #18) Don't pull a muscle running or dodging.

When in doubt, know your way out (Rule #22) "This rule is all about knowing your surroundings and preparing yourself for the worst,” says Columbus.

The Double Tap” (Rule #2)  "In those moments when you're not sure
that the undead are really dead-dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets…You can avoid becoming a human happy meal.”

Check the back seat (Rule 31)  “The last thing you need while driving is to have a zombie crawling up behind you trying to bite you.”

Wear Seatbelts (Rule #4)You won't be driving along easy roads anymore. You need to be ready for a crash!”


Beware of bathrooms (Rule #3) "Just because it's not socially acceptable to climb under cubicle doors, it doesn't mean the zombies won't do it."

"Enjoy the little things (Rule #32)  “Without enjoying the little things, it's all too easy for you to lose sanity and peace of mind from the constant stress and pains of staying alive.”

Don't Be a Hero (Rule #17)Possibly the most important rule of all. Don't risk your own life just to make yourself look good."

BE a Hero (also Rule  #17) Every good rule is meant to be broken.

---o0o---

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson on the 99%


"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile—and the rest of us are f***ed until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. We owe that to ourselves and our crippled self-image as something better than a nation of panicked sheep."  —Dr. Hunter S. Thompson in The Great Shark Hunt, 1979
---o0o---