I heard an interesting semi-theological discussion about going to heaven on the radio this morning. I grew up as a baptized-in-the-river-Baptist, and was taught that if you believed, you were saved. No matter what came before.
The people on the talk show were discussing whether one guy's uncle would go to heaven, after accepting Jesus on his deathbed. He lived a pretty sordid life that left a lot of scorched earth behind him. Someone called in and said that, absolutely, if you accepted Jesus as your savior, it was a ticket to heaven. Someone mentioned Hitler. Would he get into heaven if he had accepted Jesus at the last minute in the bunker?
I know the Bible talks about good works and living a good life. So what about The Thief On The Cross next to Jesus? He was saved. Sure, he has an edge on the rest of us, being two feet away from The Savior. But whether or not you agree that baptism is essential to salvation, we know the thief on the cross was saved. Of course, he may have already been baptized. But I digress...he was saved at the last minute, despite living a wicked life.
How do the various Christian religions deal with this? Having recently seen Star Wars (Episodes 4,5, and 6 now), I think about Darth Vader's redemption. He overthrows the emperor and he is saved (we see him later happily hanging out with Spirit Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi). After a life of senseless killing, he is redeemed by one act. Is it the same with the mainstream Christian belief system? Can you be saved at the bell, or must you live a life of good works? /jack
---o0o---
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Rudy Backs Off
When The NY Daily News broke the stories about Kerik, Giuliani told reporters he "had confidence in Bernie." [1] That confidence has led to some very strained relations between Rudy and The White House.
What a difference a few new revelations make. Now the former mayor says Bernard Kerik has a "fair amount of explaining to do." "I told him directly, 'There are are some significant mistakes you made here, even granted that only some of this is true,'" Giuliani said.
Even if only some of this is true!
Click on the headline of this entry for a link to the Daily News Article titled "Giuliani Spanks Bernie. "
[1] Remember when George McGovern backed his VP Candidate Thomas Eagleton "1001%"? Eagleton resigned a couple days later...
/jack
---o0o---
What a difference a few new revelations make. Now the former mayor says Bernard Kerik has a "fair amount of explaining to do." "I told him directly, 'There are are some significant mistakes you made here, even granted that only some of this is true,'" Giuliani said.
Even if only some of this is true!
Click on the headline of this entry for a link to the Daily News Article titled "Giuliani Spanks Bernie. "
[1] Remember when George McGovern backed his VP Candidate Thomas Eagleton "1001%"? Eagleton resigned a couple days later...
/jack
---o0o---
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
A Poem: Love Song
Take the worst that could happen
And add two zeros.
Our replicas of people and things
Disintegrate in the firestorms.
High fidelity clouds gather overhead.
Their verisimilitude overwhelms the cheap sets.
We are cleared to lift off,
And sort our way between the shrapnel.
The ground rolls away behind us.
You and I.
---o0o---
jack brummet
And add two zeros.
Our replicas of people and things
Disintegrate in the firestorms.
High fidelity clouds gather overhead.
Their verisimilitude overwhelms the cheap sets.
We are cleared to lift off,
And sort our way between the shrapnel.
The ground rolls away behind us.
You and I.
---o0o---
jack brummet
Some 2004 Patents - List No. 11
Some of the more interesting patents granted during 2004:
6,749,862 Woodpecker Disruption System
6,749,433 Newborn-size Crash Test Dummy
6,764,363 Water Walking Device
6,749,106 Lockable Pizza Box
6,749,919 Nonstaining Ink Fingerprinting Method
6,749,541 Foot Straightener For Pigeon- or Penguin-Toed Feet
6,749,349 Motorized Picnic Table
6,749,199 Diceless Craps Game
6,749,052 Slot Machine Ant-cheating Device
6,749,536 Network That Allows Exercise-Machine Users To Compete Via Video Screen
6,749,882 Nicotine Tablet That Dissolves In Coffee
6,708, 443 Mosquito-Killing Birdbath
6,748,852 Rice Polisher
6,748,955 Cigarette Burn-rate Reducer
6,749,992 Pet-Barring Furniture Protector
6,748,854 Melon Scooper And Basket
6,748,955 Cigarette Burn-rate Reducer
6,749,859 Anti-radiation Hand Protection
6,748,941 Foam Fireplace
6,810,350 Expiration Date Detector
6,749,239 Chopstick Manipulator
6,749,522 Golf-ball Retriever
6,749,474 Inflatable Pool Raft With Removable Canopy
6,497,431 Baby Bottle With Built-in Thermometer
6,749,323 Falling Snowflake Simulator
6,749, 918 Shoe-disinfecting Doormat
6,748,764 Ring Size Reducer
6,749,568 Glaucoma-sensing Contact Lens
6,640,379 Attachable Eyeglass Wipers
6,749,136 Paint Bucket In An Apron
6,749,163 Windowsill Extension Kit
6,749,039 Modular Go-kart Assembly
6,749,841 Firecracker Bang Sound Producer
6,749,557 Self-lubricating Sex Toys
6,704,116 Simplified Arabic Alphabet
6,752,146 Gas-mask Baseball Cap Hybrid
6,748,991 Foam Fireplace
6,749,316 Self Defense Baton With Flashlight And Camera
6,810,206 Drain-plug Heater
6,702,193 Wine-tasting Straw
6,786,221 Tobacco-toxin Removal System
6,749,082 Cupholder With Built-in Napkin
6,749,862 Woodpecker Disruption System
6,749,433 Newborn-size Crash Test Dummy
6,764,363 Water Walking Device
6,749,106 Lockable Pizza Box
6,749,919 Nonstaining Ink Fingerprinting Method
6,749,541 Foot Straightener For Pigeon- or Penguin-Toed Feet
6,749,349 Motorized Picnic Table
6,749,199 Diceless Craps Game
6,749,052 Slot Machine Ant-cheating Device
6,749,536 Network That Allows Exercise-Machine Users To Compete Via Video Screen
6,749,882 Nicotine Tablet That Dissolves In Coffee
6,708, 443 Mosquito-Killing Birdbath
6,748,852 Rice Polisher
6,748,955 Cigarette Burn-rate Reducer
6,749,992 Pet-Barring Furniture Protector
6,748,854 Melon Scooper And Basket
6,748,955 Cigarette Burn-rate Reducer
6,749,859 Anti-radiation Hand Protection
6,748,941 Foam Fireplace
6,810,350 Expiration Date Detector
6,749,239 Chopstick Manipulator
6,749,522 Golf-ball Retriever
6,749,474 Inflatable Pool Raft With Removable Canopy
6,497,431 Baby Bottle With Built-in Thermometer
6,749,323 Falling Snowflake Simulator
6,749, 918 Shoe-disinfecting Doormat
6,748,764 Ring Size Reducer
6,749,568 Glaucoma-sensing Contact Lens
6,640,379 Attachable Eyeglass Wipers
6,749,136 Paint Bucket In An Apron
6,749,163 Windowsill Extension Kit
6,749,039 Modular Go-kart Assembly
6,749,841 Firecracker Bang Sound Producer
6,749,557 Self-lubricating Sex Toys
6,704,116 Simplified Arabic Alphabet
6,752,146 Gas-mask Baseball Cap Hybrid
6,748,991 Foam Fireplace
6,749,316 Self Defense Baton With Flashlight And Camera
6,810,206 Drain-plug Heater
6,702,193 Wine-tasting Straw
6,786,221 Tobacco-toxin Removal System
6,749,082 Cupholder With Built-in Napkin
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
The Dogfight In Washington
I love procedural dogfights. Election 2000 was a mainline hit for political junkies. Election 1972, and particularly the Democratic Convention, was a textbook in procedural manipulation. The McGovern forces masterfully challenged delegations, and defended other factions. They had to lose some critical votes, and betray trusted allies in order to mount the challenges that would push them over the top. In the end, they won, and we (The Dems) were slaughtered: we won Massachusetts and Washington, D.C. , and Richard Nixon went on to finish part of his term before resigning.
Cloture and filibusters in the Senate give power to the minority party. The Senate's rules are an endlessly fascinating and Byzantine procedural thicket of brambles. But I digress.
We have a real procedural and legal battle in Washington State right now, focused on King County (Seattle and environs). Following two previous machine recounts, we are now in hand recount mode. Yesterday, King County election officials admitted a major error tallying votes in the governor's race. Counting these votes may reverse the results and allow Christine Gregoire to "triumph" over Dino Rossi. the winner in the hand recount now under way. 561 votes were improperly disqualified. This looks totally legit.
There are court challenges coming from both sides, as well as the Secretary of State (the only Republican I voted for in 2004. The Supreme Court just struck down one Demo challenge. Court challenges aside, it looks like the election may hinge on these uncounted, and legitimate ballots that were discovered when an elected official (Larry Phillips, Metro Council Chairman) found his vote had been disqualified.
It will be fascinating to see where this all leads. The Republicans claim if the shoe was on the other foot, they would concede. Right. They say this with a straight face as they themselves prepare to file more lawsuits.
In one of the Seattle papers recently, an editorial mentioned that in any race as close as this (or, say, Gore v. Bush), you might as well do a coin flip. In every election, there are thousands of errors, undercounts, disqualified ballots, and clerical errrors. The plurality in most elections negate these problems. The Dems and GOP are slugging it out for every vote.
Whoever wins will have a taint, no question. POTUS was able to overcome that and still govern (alebeit not well).
Maybe this will all be settled before the swearing in, scheduled for Jan. 12, 2005. In the meantime, political junkies watch in endless fascination.
/jack
---o0o---
Cloture and filibusters in the Senate give power to the minority party. The Senate's rules are an endlessly fascinating and Byzantine procedural thicket of brambles. But I digress.
We have a real procedural and legal battle in Washington State right now, focused on King County (Seattle and environs). Following two previous machine recounts, we are now in hand recount mode. Yesterday, King County election officials admitted a major error tallying votes in the governor's race. Counting these votes may reverse the results and allow Christine Gregoire to "triumph" over Dino Rossi. the winner in the hand recount now under way. 561 votes were improperly disqualified. This looks totally legit.
There are court challenges coming from both sides, as well as the Secretary of State (the only Republican I voted for in 2004. The Supreme Court just struck down one Demo challenge. Court challenges aside, it looks like the election may hinge on these uncounted, and legitimate ballots that were discovered when an elected official (Larry Phillips, Metro Council Chairman) found his vote had been disqualified.
It will be fascinating to see where this all leads. The Republicans claim if the shoe was on the other foot, they would concede. Right. They say this with a straight face as they themselves prepare to file more lawsuits.
In one of the Seattle papers recently, an editorial mentioned that in any race as close as this (or, say, Gore v. Bush), you might as well do a coin flip. In every election, there are thousands of errors, undercounts, disqualified ballots, and clerical errrors. The plurality in most elections negate these problems. The Dems and GOP are slugging it out for every vote.
Whoever wins will have a taint, no question. POTUS was able to overcome that and still govern (alebeit not well).
Maybe this will all be settled before the swearing in, scheduled for Jan. 12, 2005. In the meantime, political junkies watch in endless fascination.
/jack
---o0o---
Monday, December 13, 2004
Bernard Kerik--The Rest Of The Story.
When the White House announced last Friday that the Homeland Security cabinet nominee Bernard Kerik was withdrawing, they said it was due to the old familiar "nanny problems," ala Lani Guinier and Linda Chavez. As it turns out there was a little more--he has accepted thousands of dollars in gifts, for one, and had been running a hot sheet apartment on the East Side, where he conducted simultaneous affairs with an NYC correction officer, and with the lovely Judith Regan--a publisher, among other things.
Boo hoo! So now, his mentor, Rudy Giuliani has egg on his face, and the POTUS staff got caught with their pants down. If Kerik lied to get the gig, he is dumb as a board, and not the guy we want running Homeland Security. If he really thought he could sweep all this under the rug, he is not even bright enough to run the cotton candy concession in the travelling circus. . . /jack
Boo hoo! So now, his mentor, Rudy Giuliani has egg on his face, and the POTUS staff got caught with their pants down. If Kerik lied to get the gig, he is dumb as a board, and not the guy we want running Homeland Security. If he really thought he could sweep all this under the rug, he is not even bright enough to run the cotton candy concession in the travelling circus. . . /jack
Poem: Bad Timing
He buys a coffee,
Using his last seven words.
He slyly eyes
His last pair of stunning buttocks.
He has zero orgasms, songs and movies,
Two red lights, six blocks,
13 minutes and 993 heartbeats left.
Every millisecond adds up:
Every variable conspires
To remove him from the census.
He steps in front of the car
Three seconds early,
Or two seconds late.
---o0o---
jack brummet
Using his last seven words.
He slyly eyes
His last pair of stunning buttocks.
He has zero orgasms, songs and movies,
Two red lights, six blocks,
13 minutes and 993 heartbeats left.
Every millisecond adds up:
Every variable conspires
To remove him from the census.
He steps in front of the car
Three seconds early,
Or two seconds late.
---o0o---
jack brummet
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Frank Zappa's Rebuttal Of The Urban Legend He Ate S**t Onstage
"[1] I ate s**t on stage.
[2] I had a `grossout contest' (what the f**k is a `grossout contest'?) with Captain Beefheart and we both ate s**t on stage, etc.
[3] I had a `grossout contest' with Alice Cooper and he stepped on baby chickens and then I ate s**t on stage, etc.
I was in a London club called the Speak Easy in 1967 or '68. A member of a group called the Flock, recording for Columbia at the time, came over to me and said: "You're fantastic. When I heard about you eating that s**t on stage, I thought, `That guy is way, way out there.'" I said, "I never ate s**t on stage." He looked really depressed like I had just broken his heart.
For the records, folks: I never took a s** t on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating s**t anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973."
Frank Zappa
[2] I had a `grossout contest' (what the f**k is a `grossout contest'?) with Captain Beefheart and we both ate s**t on stage, etc.
[3] I had a `grossout contest' with Alice Cooper and he stepped on baby chickens and then I ate s**t on stage, etc.
I was in a London club called the Speak Easy in 1967 or '68. A member of a group called the Flock, recording for Columbia at the time, came over to me and said: "You're fantastic. When I heard about you eating that s**t on stage, I thought, `That guy is way, way out there.'" I said, "I never ate s**t on stage." He looked really depressed like I had just broken his heart.
For the records, folks: I never took a s** t on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating s**t anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973."
Frank Zappa
Saturday, December 11, 2004
The Monkey And The Engineer
The Grateful Dead covered this great song by Jesse Fuller, the folk and bluesman who died in 1976. Great lyrics. The Dead also covered his wonderful "Beat In On Down The Line." This is one smart monkey.
Once upon a time there was an engineer.
Drove a locomotive both far and near.
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do.
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat,
He left the monkey sitting on the driver's seat,
The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run.
[chorus] Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone,
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone.
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right,
Cause the monkey's got the main line sewed up tight.
The switch operator got the message on time,
Said there's a northbound livin' on the same main line,
Open up the switch I'm gonna let him through the hole,
Cause the monkey's got the locomotive under control.
[chorus]
Once upon a time there was an engineer.
Drove a locomotive both far and near.
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do.
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat,
He left the monkey sitting on the driver's seat,
The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run.
[chorus] Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone,
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone.
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right,
Cause the monkey's got the main line sewed up tight.
The switch operator got the message on time,
Said there's a northbound livin' on the same main line,
Open up the switch I'm gonna let him through the hole,
Cause the monkey's got the locomotive under control.
[chorus]
Friday, December 10, 2004
Would You Put An Anti-gun Bumper Sticker On Your Car?
Writing about repealing the second amendment seemed to bring out the passions in folk. I got a bunch of comments, and a bunch of direct emails about that piece. Virtually all were against gun control, and very against repealing the second amendment. Several people said--and some were clearly bright & not nut cases--that the more guns people carry, the safer we are.
Over the years, I have had a lot of strange bumper stickers. I've never had the nerve to put a Repeal The Second Amendment bumper sticker on, 'though. Is that just me being paranoid? I don't actually think someone would take a shot. Well, maybe a little. On the other hand, whether they had a gun or not, when we're on the road, we're behind the wheel of the deadliest weapon that exists. . .at least according to the fatalities. . .
The FBI's Crime in the United States Report estimated that 67% of the 16,503 murders in 2003 were committed with firearms, or, over 10,000 murders. /jack
---o0o---
Over the years, I have had a lot of strange bumper stickers. I've never had the nerve to put a Repeal The Second Amendment bumper sticker on, 'though. Is that just me being paranoid? I don't actually think someone would take a shot. Well, maybe a little. On the other hand, whether they had a gun or not, when we're on the road, we're behind the wheel of the deadliest weapon that exists. . .at least according to the fatalities. . .
The FBI's Crime in the United States Report estimated that 67% of the 16,503 murders in 2003 were committed with firearms, or, over 10,000 murders. /jack
---o0o---
Game Boy Advance Is Therapeutic??
Click the title for a link to the article on CNN... /jack
---o0o---
---o0o---
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Poem: The Killer
Some nights he tried to jettison
What was left of his soul
Back into the void.
It dogpaddled back.
He's been it
Too many turns.
---o0o---
jack brummet
What was left of his soul
Back into the void.
It dogpaddled back.
He's been it
Too many turns.
---o0o---
jack brummet
Five Dead And Counting - Repeal The Second Amendment
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20041209/D86SB6EG0.html
Five dead and counting - Last night's brutal shooting of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott of the band Damageplan at a nightclub in Columbus was not the last straw; the last straw happened years ago. The killer murdered three other people, and seriously injured others. A cop arrived and was able to stop the killer before he shot again.
Like a bad dream, the National Rifle Association returns periodically to remind us that "guns don't kill; people do." After assassinations, after Columbine, after every senseless, insane killing, and as they inevitably will after last night's tragedy, the NRA will dissemble, rationalize, backpeddle and flat out lie. Unrepentant despite Columbine and the thousands of lesser known gun outrages in America, the NRA will actually try to tell us that shootings like this are why we need to have guns.
The second amendment probably outlived its usefulness sometime around the turn of the 20th century. Let's get rid of it.
John Lennon was assassinated exactly 24 years ago last night by another sick biscuit with a gun. How many more? /jack
---o0o---
Five dead and counting - Last night's brutal shooting of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott of the band Damageplan at a nightclub in Columbus was not the last straw; the last straw happened years ago. The killer murdered three other people, and seriously injured others. A cop arrived and was able to stop the killer before he shot again.
Like a bad dream, the National Rifle Association returns periodically to remind us that "guns don't kill; people do." After assassinations, after Columbine, after every senseless, insane killing, and as they inevitably will after last night's tragedy, the NRA will dissemble, rationalize, backpeddle and flat out lie. Unrepentant despite Columbine and the thousands of lesser known gun outrages in America, the NRA will actually try to tell us that shootings like this are why we need to have guns.
The second amendment probably outlived its usefulness sometime around the turn of the 20th century. Let's get rid of it.
John Lennon was assassinated exactly 24 years ago last night by another sick biscuit with a gun. How many more? /jack
---o0o---
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Stopping By Richard Nixon's
One of my favorite activities in New York City was to visit Former President Richard M. Nixon's house. He lived in a sweet little townhouse on the Upper East Side (142 East 65th Street). We probably stopped by ten times while I lived there. I would drag friends there in a taxi, or car, if someone had one. The President never actually came out to greet us.
A few years after he resigned, he returned east from his California exile. This is the President who wanted to send me to Vietnam, so I had mixed feelings, indeed, about this man. He kept the Great Society funded, even as he lied and weaseled his way to disgrace. What could you think of the ex red-baiter who went to China and opened diplomatic relations? He was a two-edged sword, which made him endlessly fascinating. And I frequently went there to pay homage to both Good King Richard and Evil Dick.
These visits would almost always occur around closing time (did I even need to mention that?). I seem to recall often having a bottle or go cup in hand, as we stood outside the townhouse for ten or fifteen minutes. I always secretly hoped he might spy us and come out (like the time he visited the students at the Lincoln Memorial). I'd like to think he maybe heard us once or twice!
Interestingly, in all of those visits, the Secret Service never came near us. We saw them a few times, but no matter how loud and raucous we got, they never approached. I guess that makes sense. There were 20 million people living within an easy car drive of 142 East 65th Street. I was probably not the only knucklehead among the 20 million to stop by--or worse. Eventually, in the mid-eighties, Richard Nixon and I both moved from Manhattan. He moved to Saddle River, New Jersey and wrote a lot of books, as well as advising every President in some capacity. He died ten years ago, in New York. /jack
---o0o---
A few years after he resigned, he returned east from his California exile. This is the President who wanted to send me to Vietnam, so I had mixed feelings, indeed, about this man. He kept the Great Society funded, even as he lied and weaseled his way to disgrace. What could you think of the ex red-baiter who went to China and opened diplomatic relations? He was a two-edged sword, which made him endlessly fascinating. And I frequently went there to pay homage to both Good King Richard and Evil Dick.
These visits would almost always occur around closing time (did I even need to mention that?). I seem to recall often having a bottle or go cup in hand, as we stood outside the townhouse for ten or fifteen minutes. I always secretly hoped he might spy us and come out (like the time he visited the students at the Lincoln Memorial). I'd like to think he maybe heard us once or twice!
Interestingly, in all of those visits, the Secret Service never came near us. We saw them a few times, but no matter how loud and raucous we got, they never approached. I guess that makes sense. There were 20 million people living within an easy car drive of 142 East 65th Street. I was probably not the only knucklehead among the 20 million to stop by--or worse. Eventually, in the mid-eighties, Richard Nixon and I both moved from Manhattan. He moved to Saddle River, New Jersey and wrote a lot of books, as well as advising every President in some capacity. He died ten years ago, in New York. /jack
---o0o---
The Real Big Bird?
http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=bigbird06m&date=20041206&query=fossil
This is a fascinating article. I grew up a couple blocks from the shores of the Green River. I learned today that tiny, 18 pound horses, hippopotamuses (or hippopotami), and this Big Bird, Diatryma, lived there before me. "When John Patterson stumbled across what could be one of the biggest fossil finds in the Northwest, a fairy-tale ending seemed assured. The three-toed track he found near the Green River in 1992 was a near-perfect fit for Diatryma, a flightless bird that stood as tall as Shaquille O'Neal and weighed 350 pounds or more. " Cool, eh? /jack
---o0o---
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