Heroes And Villains No. 5--> John Wilkes Booth and Emily Dickinson

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Heroes And Villains No. 4-->Jeffrey Dahmer and Daniel Boone

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American Nuns Gone Wild!

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Twelve American nuns have been suspended after going on an alcohol and sex fuelled holiday. The women, aged between 22 and 31, slept with a total of 43 men on the two-week tear.

I wonder why all the priests never thought of road trips?

Click on the title of this entry to link to the news article.

Feed X To The Troops To Combat Shell Shock? Raves The New Group Therapy?

Click on the title to link to the news story...

American soldiers traumatised by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are to be offered the drug ecstasy to help free them of flashbacks and recurring nightmares.

The US food and drug administration has given the go-ahead for the soldiers to be included in an experiment to see if MDMA, the active ingredient in ecstasy, can treat post-traumatic stress disorder.

Digital Painting --> Heroes And Villains No. 3--> Jack Kennedy and Torquemada, Or, Two Catholic Boys

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Digital Painting --> Heroes And Villains No. 2--> Bishop Tutu and Il Duce (aka Benito Mussolini)

Click to enlarge.

Second in a series. Don't ask me why I paired these two. If I keep it up, the juxtapositions should get pretty interesting.

I guess in No. 1, people might consider LBJ a villain too. In his case, he was both, I guess. . .a hero on civil rights and social services, and a villain on The War. /jack

Digital Painting --> Heroes And Villains No. 1--> Adolph Hitler and Lyndon Johnson

Click to enlarge

The Hive Pulse

This is one of those "everything you know is wrong" stories. A random number generator is shaking the very foundations of rational scientific thought. Scientists are looking at predictive behavior, the very nature of time, and the notion that there may actually be a global mind (what we paranormal types think of as the hive pulse) running through all human beings.

When an event like the World Trade Center attacks, or the South Asian Tsunami occurs, the collective human consciousness affects this battery of machines that generates random numbers. The machines may reflect our joys and agonies.

"It is possible - in theory - that time may not just move forwards but backwards, too. And if time ebbs and flows like the tides in the sea, it might just be possible to foretell major world events. We would, in effect, be 'remembering' things that had taken place in our future. "

"While we may all operate as individuals, we also appear to share something far, far greater - a global consciousness."

Here is an article about the project: http://www.rednova.com/news/display/?id=126649#121

and a link to the project itself: http://noosphere.princeton.edu/

Be sure to check out the realtime EGG display. /jack
---o0o---

Buy Mary Kay LeTourneau and Vili Fualaau A Wedding Present!

click to enlarge

They're getting hitched up in a couple of months, and they have chosen Their Pattern. /jack
---o0o---

All Star Benefits=Bad Music

I don't watch awards shows much, but I tuned in for a minute to the Grammys last night. I dialed in just as they started the tsunami relief performance (you could download the song immediately from iTunes and CBS with the proceeds going to benefit the survivors).

It seemed promising. The song, The Beatles' All Across The Universe, featured Velvet Revolver, Stevie Wonder, Norah Jones, Bono, Alicia Keys, Alison Krauss, Tim McGraw, Steven Tyler, Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong, soul great Al Green and Brian Wilson. It was execrable; aren't all these superstar benefit assemblages? They might even be able to bring in more money for the cause by promising not to play another tune. . .

flag 19

Click to enlarge.

Ripped From The (Actual?) Headlines

More internet chestnuts, while I recover from the 'flu... /jack


Experts Say
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says
Plane too close to ground, crash probe told

Animals
Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
Squad helps dog bite victim
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

Crime
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
Enfield couple slain; Police suspect homicide
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
Stolen painting found by tree
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

Politics
Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
War dims hope for peace

Worker's Rights
Miners refuse to work after death
If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
Prostitutes appeal to Pope

List No. 13 - Horror Movie Survival Guide

This is the best of two lists that circulate endlessly on the internet. The first one I have had since 1993, when I found it on a bulletin board (aka BBS). The second one had many of the same items, and some new ones. As always with these lists, attribution if difficult, if not an outright joke...

When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off or go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take anything from the dead.

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuaion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted- looking house to phone for help.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.

People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.

If you realize that the people in your town/county are having their minds taken over by some strange force, alien or otherwise: DO NOT call the police as they are A) either already taken over themselves and will turn you in or B) Will not believe you and laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the problem yourself.

If a small band of children appear to be smarter then the adults that are around them, be cautious. If they stay together in a small, secretive group, and display nothing but hostility towards their elders, authority, and the church, leave town at once. If you wish to stay, be as kind to the children as possible, but expect to die anyways because you are inferior to them.

When you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave them alone.

When one of your spaceship's crew finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of disobeying the previous rule), don't let him back on the ship. The guy's dogmeat anyway.

When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of disobeying the previous two rules) never wander off alone to hunt for the ship's cat.

If you manage to lose a few body parts along the way, don't despair. Take this opportunity to replace them with weapons, such as chainsaws, harpoons, etc.

If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable.

If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster.

If you are wounded by flesh-eating zombies, aboandon all hope, because sooner or later, no matter how many antibiotics you take, yer gonna become one of 'em.

If you're the the last main character left, and a bunch of people are hunting the monster, DON'T stand out in the open, because you will immediately be mistaken for the monster.

Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or any other strange noises from the other side.

While in a horror film, never bathe, especially when in the house alone.

In terms of weaponry and general equipment for fighting the monster, never rely on any tool more complicated than a pointed stick. Generators will inexplicably run out of power, just as the nasty space-vegetable climbs onto your jury rigged electrical grid. Just when you've got the ghoul lined up in your sights, your gun will invariably jam.

The Rain In Seattle

A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it's raining. It rains the day after that, and the day after that. He goes out to lunch, sees a young kid, and asks out of despair "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

The kid says, "How do I know? I'm only six."

The Gates, 25 Years Later

click to enlarge

After all this time, Christo finally got his gates up in Central Park. The gates are hung with a gorgeous looking saffron-colored fabric. The amazing thing to me is that Christo wanted to do this while I still lived in NYC--he first proposed it in 1979! And now, he has succeeded, putting up something like $20 million he and his partner Jeanne-Claude raised. The gates will be up two weeks. My friend Kevin lives right near the park. I will see if I can get him to pass along a first hand report. Are they as cool as they seem, or after 25 years, is it just a snoozer? /jack
---o0o---

What Happened To Mad Scientists?

The British government Tuesday licensed the creator of Dolly the sheep to clone early-stage human embryos for a study of degenerative diseases, re-igniting a sharp debate in the United States about the future of stem cell research. (http://www.newsday.com/news/health/ny-hsclon0209,0,2485639.story?coll=ny-health-headlines)

Why have mad scientists almost disappeared from our movies now? Why indeed: because they're madly working away at their nefarious schemes right here, right now. They live! There are still a few mad scientists in film: in The Re-Animator, or in Sam Raimi's Darkman for example. On the whole, however, the mad scientists are a cliché, and they are disappearing.

Real life mad science is in full bloom in the 21st century. It's not all that different from what the mad scientists were doing in those 30s and 40's movies! Doctors can transplant organs and limbs from one body to another, and even among mammals--we harvest pig organs for spare parts now. The basic programming of life is being mastered. We cloned Dolly the sheep. She was not perfect, but they did clone her. The very code of the human genome has been cracked.

Robots of all sorts have been manufactured, and people now buy them as toys, or even pets. Nanomachines the size of molecules have been created and some of them combine biological and mechanical parts. What once was heresy is now business as usual. We won't know where all this is leading until it is too late. Maybe we're on the right path...we used to burn people at the stake for thinking the world was round. Maybe one of these cloners and modern day Victor Frankensteins is the Copernicus of our time?
---o0o---

Poem: the wrong shoes

Who is that down there?

a person less than unwanted
who met up with the wrong cobbler:
full fathom five

under roiled dark waters
someone's father lies
wearing concrete loafers

and startled eyes.
I don't think he's waving
but his hands move back and forth. ---000---

digital painting--> Flag No. 18: Old Glory

Click to enlarge. (c) 2005 by Jack.

digital painting: Man With Gun

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What The F*** Mr. President??

My wife pointed out an article in the New York Times yesterday. She knew it would make me crazy.

This is like coming home and finding your 80 year old mother in a frenzied sex orgy, with bongs, kegs, and 130 decibels of Crunk pumping through the speakers.

The NY Times article claimed that POTUS not only read, but enthusiastically recommends to friends I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe. I thought Charlotte was a very very good novel (which puts me in the critical minority). It's shocking, however, that The President would be such a fan.

Charlotte contains long passages about the contemporary usage of the word f**k, scenes where religion is mocked, dozens of passages of marijuana, cocaine, and ecstasy use, disquisitions on oral sex, casual sex, drinking, cheating in school, corruption in the university, long passages mocking morality, chastity, and sportsmanship, and many many gallons of beer, wine, and Vodka. The pivotal chapter of the book details the date rape of Charlotte Simmons by a fraternity rat.

I am utterly baffled as to what The President would find to love in the book, at least in light of his public persona. The article speculates it may be a hearkening back to his hard partying fraternity days at Yale.

The official list of books The President reads does not include Tom Wolfe. The White House press office will tell you his favorite books are currently His Excellency: George Washington by Joseph J. Ellis (a great book, by the way), Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow, and, of course, The Bible.

I keep thinking someone buffaloed the New York Times and we'll read a retraction of the story tomorrow. I just can't wrap my head around this one, it's so weird.
---o0o---

List No. 12: The Speed Of Animals

Speeds are in mph [1]

Cheetah 70
Pronghorn antelope 61
Wildebeest 50
Lion 50
Thomson's gazelle 50
Quarterhorse 47.5
Elk 45
Cape hunting dog 45
Coyote 43
Gray fox 42
Hyena 40
Zebra 40
Mongolian wild ass 40
Greyhound 39.35
Whippet 35.50
Rabbit (domestic) 35
Mule deer 35
Jackal 35
Reindeer 32
Giraffe 32
White-tailed deer 30
Wart hog 30
Grizzly bear 30
Cat (domestic) 30
Human 27.89
Elephant 25
Black mamba snake 20
Six-lined race runner 18
Wild turkey 15
Squirrel 12
Pig (domestic) 11
Chicken 9
Spider (T. atrica) 1.17
Giant tortoise 0.17
Three-toed sloth 0.15
Garden snail 0.03

[1] Most of these measurements are for maximum speeds over approximate quarter-mile distances. Exceptions are the lion and elephant, whose speeds were clocked in the act of charging; the whippet, which was timed over a 200-yard course; the cheetah, timed over a 100-yard distance; the human, timed for a 15-yard segment of a 100-yard run (of 13.6 seconds); and the black mamba, six-lined race runner, spider, giant tortoise, three-toed sloth, and garden snail, which were measured over various small distances.
Source: Natural History magazine, March 1974. Copyright © The American Museum of Natural History, 1974.

Poem: Daybreak

Our spiring sun sheds tons a day
But each still dawn
Clears the rooftops again
To roost with the morning stars.

The hills tumble down
Rock by rock
And the rivers zig
Where they used to zag.

Trees
Run
Rings
Around
Themselves.

Why do we call it sunrise,
When it's just earth
Rolling over
Like a dog?
---o0o---

Message In A Bottle

click to enlarge

The picture on the left went into space with one of our early interstellar craft. It explains where earth is [1], what homo sapiens looked like naked (like Barbie and Ken), and other information, like a diagram indicating the location of our sun.

Nasa's Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) has been working on this "Interstellar Outreach Program" for many years [2]. The gold-plated disk above, is a bronze record containing sounds and images of life on earth. Each of the two Voyagers is equipped with a record player of sorts--with a cartridge, even--to play the disk, and recover the images.

The two circles in the bottom right side of the record show the two lowest states of a hydrogen atom. The vertical lines on the circles show the spin moment of the electron and proton. And (is this cool, or what?) the transition time from one state to the next provides the fundamental clock reference used in ALL the cover diagrams and the images to be decoded from binaries.

Carl Sagan and a team of other folks designed and selected the Voyager's messages and data. The disk includes a greeting in 55 different languages, from Aramaic to Vietnamese. The record also includes a sampler of non-human Earth sounds such as wind, rain, surf, chimps, sheep, crickets, saws, and trains. It contains photos as well, and maps, diagrams of DNA, vertebrate anatomy charts, chemical and mathematical definitions, and other visual displays. The disk includes Beethoven, a Chuck Berry tune (Johnny B, Goode), Bach and Mozart, a Navajo chant, Indian Ragas, and a Louis Armstrong recording. There are 116 binary images on the record.

No one know if the aliens who find this will be able to use it, or decode the information. Will they even have hands? Opposable thumbs? Will they even think in any path parallel to ours? Will the disk just look like gibberish to them? Their scientists--if they have science (and we assume they must)--may need to study the disk for a couple of thousand years before they make a breakthrough.

A book titled Murmurs of the Earth, writtten by Sagan and colleagues, was reissued in 1992 with a CD-ROM compilation of the Golden Record, and a description of its creation. It's out of print, but you can pick up a copy fairly cheaply.

The movie Starman portrayed the Voyager Golden Record being located by an extra-terrestial intelligence who subsequently sent one of their own race to investigate intelligent life on Earth.

Don't hold your breath that any of our cousins in other galaxies will find this and come to visit. The Voyager will not come close to another star for something like 40,000 years. But then again, when you're dealing with our alien cousins Out There, 40,000 years may just be a sneeze in the winds of time.

[1] Or, maybe by the time it is found, where earth was.
[2] We also regularly beam messages out into the void, and hopefully, to our alien cousins, through our Arecibo observatory in Puerto Rico.
---o0o---

A Flag For The New Democracy

Click image to enlarge
(C) 2005 Jack Brummet

Poem: The Book Of Revelations Is "Taps" For Turtle Island

Seven seals seven vials
seven lamps of fire
seven swift sickles
for seven angels

the last trumpet
blows reveille and taps
wake up wake up
it's time to go to sleep

over the hills
and far away
The Piper
is piping us home.
---000---

jack brummet

Favorite Websites No. 7

click to enlarge (if you can bear to)

Found photos is an interesting repository for found photographs. Many are hilarious, many are very strange, there are some interesting ones, and a few tasteless ones. Whatever the case, it's always amusing. Click on the title of this post for a link there. /jack
---o0o--

"American Idol" Trounces "The State Of The Union"

Click on the title to hook up to more info - Click image to enlarge

The U.S broadcast TV audience would rather watch contestants sing, mostly badly, than tune in to The President for an hour (followed by the Democrats annual whine fest). Idol, on one channel in one hour, whipped POTUS and The Dems despite POTUS's speech appearing on all three networks over two hours.
---o0o---

Turn A Mouse Into Soup In 30 Seconds!

Click image to enlarge

I was unable to determine how much these units cost. I don't think it would be cost-effective for whipping up your Hollandaise Sauce. /jack

Poem: Explosions

Every last cell
in the body

is replaced over
seven years time

I'm not the Jack
I was in 1998

poems and explosions
go off in my skull

as each cell fades
my brain rewires itself

and the new circuits
begin to sing

in a synapse chorus line
and I don't know

if I will wake up
in the morning

as Adolph Hitler
or Bishop Tutu

or something
in between.
---o0o---

Iraqi Terrorists Becoming Facile With Photoshop

John Adam -click photo to enlarge
click title for a link to the CNN story

The U.S. military said Tuesday that no American soldiers have been reported missing in Iraq following an internet statement that an American soldier had been taken hostage. In Baghdad, the U.S. military's press office in Baghdad said "no units have reported anyone missing."

The posting, on a militant-sympathetic Web site included a photo of what they said was an American soldier in desert fatigues sitting on the floor with his hands tied behind his back. The figure with the gun to his head was in fact a "G.I. Joe"-style doll, made by Dragon Models USA.

The militants claimed to be holding other American soldiers (or possibly, a case of G.I. Joes). "Our mujahedeen heroes of Iraq's Jihadi Battalion were able to capture American military man John Adam after killing a number of his comrades and capturing the rest," said the statement, signed by the "Mujahedeen Brigades."
---o0o---

Do Not Pull The Trigger. . .

click image to enlarge - from an air rifle instruction booklet printed in China

Freedom of Huh?? Wazzat?

A recent study shows that many US high school students don't understand the meaning of free speech, and are in many cases, completely in the dark about the First Amendment. From an Asociated Press story today:

"When told of the exact text of the First Amendment, more than one in three high school students said it goes 'too far' in the rights it guarantees."

"Half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories."

"Three in four students said flag burning is illegal. It's not."

"About half the students said the government can restrict any indecent material on the Internet. It can't."

Click on the title to link to the AP story on CNN. /jack
---o0o---

The Cover Up?

Click to enlarge

One of the focal points of the UFO and Alien Coverup story/myth are three documents related to a secret group known as Majestic-12. A few years back, the television program Dark Skies, focused on the Majestic story.

The Operation Majestic-12 documents were first revealed in 1987, when a roll of film was handed to a documentary filmmaker. Since then, many people have tried to validate the authenticity of these three primary documents. The Majestic documents outline the establishment of a TOP SECRET group to handle the 1947 Roswell recovery and procedures for evaluating crashed alien spacecraft. The U.S. government has always denied the existence of Majestic.

Dr Stanton T. Friedman, author of Top Secret Majic, has said: "investigation of the many arguments raised by skeptics has, to date, provided no indication that the documents are fraudulent and a host of small details which tend towards legitimacy for MJ-12."

Majestic 12 was in charge of protecting what the government knew about extraterrestrials and flying saucers. If you believe what these documents say, "what the government knew" is a lot. There are sites all over the internet dedicated to Majestic. These sites range from skeptical to telling you that we have already been invaded and that the guy sitting next to you is likely part of an Alien Hive.
---o0o---

Mel, Part 1

Almost six years ago, Jerry Melin, died in Marin County, California (where he lived near The Grateful Dead, a band we both loved). He even met a few of them during his years in Ross. Mel's death was a jackhammer blow; a blow I still try to understand and absorb. There is not a day when I don't think of him often, all these years later. Even now--last night, in fact--there are things I want to tell him; things so strange, or amazing, or bent, or obscure and ethereal, that only he could plug in to them.

Mel died instantly of a heart attack in the middle of a tennis match. His wife, Dorothea, asked if I could speak a eulogy at his funeral. I wasn't sure I could, if I could even write it. I wasn't thinking right. Somehow, 'though, I felt Mel peer over my shoulder and was able to get something on paper. I was even able to deliver the eulogy in a packed church without completely breaking down. It wasn't looking at his widow or his three young daughters, or all our friends, or the people of Ross that got me through it. I asked myself "what would Jerry do?" How had Jerry managed the deaths of our friends Phil, Peter, Jannah, Colin, or his father? It was not by boohooing...that was not his way. The Way was to realize it's over and go from there, and celebrate. "You celebrate them by digging that we're here, " he would say, "there's plenty of time to be pushing daisies. You celebrate them by celebrating this. Dig this and dig it now because tomorrow never knows, as that hippy Beatle sang."

I am working on other pieces about Mel, that I will publish here. With this eulogy, we begin at the end of the story. With this, the worst part over, we can move onto the good stuff.

Eulogy for Jerry Philip Melin

[This first paragraph about the church I ad-libbed at the funeral and wrote down when I got on the plane that night].

I look around this church, and I see--what?-- Three Hundred People? I know Jerry would have been amazed; he would be amused. This is half the town of Ross, California. Jerry never dreamed he could sell out a Catholic Church. It's S.R.O.--Standing Room Only--here. It should be. No, Jerry could not have dreamt this. I wonder if it's some kind of dream myself. But I know it isn't, because we are here, together. And I wish we weren't.

My earliest Jerry memory might be the Letterman's Jacket Incident. Jerry lettered in gymnastics, and had later made "improvements" to his Kent Meridian High School letterman's jacket. In addition to a carefully rendered, bright white rendition of Mister Zig-Zag on the back, he reversed the letters on his jacket to read MK. The football coach stopped him one day and asked (I'll try my dumb coach voice): "Hey­­ what's this MK jazz stand for?"

When Jerry answered "Mein Kampf," the coach, of course, went absolutely bananas. Jerry had to surrender the Jacket eventually because it violated several rules, but for Jer this was a personal triumph, beating anything he'd done on the parallel bars or the rings, and leaving his vaulting wins far in the dust. He'd riled The Man.

Over the years, I called him at various times--of the names I can actually say in church--Jed, Jer, Mel, Bart (referring to the Hobart Dump), Jeddy and even sometimes, Jerry. These last few years we settled into Mel, and he called me either Doc, or Jack.

He was a skilled artist, creating bawdy cartoons of people locked in improbable combinations and situations, and incredible William Blake-inspired drawings of sinners and angels. He was a skilled stockmarket analyst and a securities trading wiz (not bad for a guy with a degree in English literature). He wrote chilling fiction and fantasy, often in stream of consciousness bursts, folded into those twenty page letters from Mexico, Alaska, Greece, Bellingham, Manhattan or Seattle. He was an introspective philosopher who could keep you up all night discussing The Big Ideas, and Art and Women and Godhead. Jerry was also a prankster unparalleled. I could go on about that alone forever. Jerry was an adoring husband, a doting father, and a friend whose intensity swallowed you up. You knew he loved you.

I tried to find my box of letters, stories, drawings, and poems from him before I came to the funeral, and even those many emails. His letters to me, at least, were machine-gun meditations on life--a vortex of free associations on the nature of Art and Destiny and Man's follies. These letters were shot through with his comic vision of humankind that plumbed the lowest and highest of humor.

His warped sense of humor and willingness to talk from the heart sustained us through a lot of happy times, tragic losses, and life itself.

In 1978, Jerry and I took a most ill­-advised trip from my home in New York City to his home in Seattle. You could travel from anywhere to anywhere in the U.S. for $49 on the Greyhound Bus.

One of the things I remember most about that trip is how much we laughed and babbled and talked through the night as we crossed those twelve desolate, frozen states in those nightmare bus seats, usually trapped in the back of the bus, near the toilet. We finally arrived in Seattle, and staggered off the bus after three and a half showerless and cramped days. We went to our respective family's homes.

Jerry called two hours later to see if I wanted to hang out. We had been six inches apart for 85 hours! I was ready for a serious and long Jerry­break, but he wanted to know when I would be arriving at his place to liberate him! There was more to transact! We had unfinished business. He could never have enough. I was always the first one to go, to hang up, log off, or go to bed. He never ever wanted to say goodbye.

There was never a time when we talked that he didn't hound me to come visit him in Kent, Seattle, Bellingham, Manhattan, Long Island, Mexico, San Francisco, or up in Dutch Harbor, Alaska. Wherever he was was where I should be. It was critical that he knew exactly when we would see each other again. It was always "Jack. . .drive that car down here tomorrow. . .it's only 16 hours and you've got five days off." Or "Doc. . .come down here and quit working so damned hard. . .we'll sit in the hot tub and talk about politics and Rembrandt and old kings."

Jerry would never ever hang up without extracting a solid promise we would get together As Soon As Possible.

In retrospect, I wish I had driven down here a week ago, the last time he insisted I come immediately. He was really applying the heat this time. He knew I had a lot of time off, and I thought about it. He really applied the pressure­­. But I don't think Jerry had any sense of what was to come later that week; I don't think he knew he had days to live. He just wanted that visit to glimmer in the distance, as a possibility, as a carrot to keep him going. Mel had to know you'd be there again, in person.

How can we not all love and cherish someone who loved us as relentlessly as that? For everyone who knew and loved him, there will always be a void that only Jerry can fill.

I'll miss those midnight calls about Flemish painters and Yeats and Shakespeare and the mad popes. It was all so very important to him and he always wanted every detail about my life, and the things I read and wrote and painted, and created at work, and about my family, and about my wife he adored. . .all of that was never far from his mind. Half the time, I couldn't pry a word out of Jerry, but he was there, pumping words out of me like an oil derrick.

Mel measured his life by the people he loved. That was his yardstick. I hope we can all come to practice even a little bit of what he taught us about devotion and intensity and reaching out. Jerry's love was relentless.

I know I speak for Jerry when I tell you he wants us to somehow accept this terrible thing and learn to laugh again. Jerry was never much of a mourner; he was a liver. This much commotion about his passing would be too much. He wants you to ponder not his passing but his glorious transit through this bright blue ball.

It's going to be too long

until we hug Jerry

but until then,

I know that once you're through

with the orientation and settling in,

you'll be teaching those angels

new moves and showing them

just how much room there really is

to dance on the head of a pin. ­­­­
---o0o---

Jack Brummet, 1999

Government

Government is the Entertainment Division of the military-industrial complex.

- Frank Zappa

Hobo Signs

Click image to enlarge

This is a drawing of some of my favorite hobo signs. There are many more. Quite a few of these have made an appearance in my art over the years (particularly my favorite "man with gun.")
/jack

Five Sports Quotes You Might Like

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." (1992)

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

It's Things Like This That Make Me Think The Press Are A Pack Of Treacherous, Unprincipled Weasels

VPOTUS Dick Cheney's green parka and boots stood out at yesterday's 60th anniversary of the liberation of the Nazis' Auschwitz death camp. It alarmed the fashion police.

It's freezing there. He's 65. He's had, what, three heart attacks? I don't mind if he bundles up. I guess what the press didn't like is that he dressed like a normal American knucklehead, in a parka, stocking hat, and lace-up boots.

Washington Post fashion writer Robin Givhan described Cheney's look at the deeply moving 60th anniversary service as "the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower." "The vice president looked like an awkward child amid the well-dressed adults," she said.

What a steaming pile, Robin! There aren't many politicians I like less than the Vice President, but please come up with some substance, guys! It's not like the Administration doesn't have plenty of garbage you can dig up. But, no, Robin, you focus on the haberdashery.

Click on the title to link to the AP article. /jack
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Smile

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Photograph of employees at Jack's work. Photographer unknown. Digital enhancements by Jack, 2004.

qui tam pro domino rege quam pro si ipso in hac parte sequiter

Following ongoing revelations of government-funded propaganda, including bogus video news releases from the drug czar and DHHS, and White House payments to two "journalists," Senators Kennedy (D-Mass) and Lautenberg (D-NJ) are about to introduce a Stop Government Propaganda Act.

The President claims to be completely in the dark about the propaganda payments, or about any skullduggery. It's not that big of a leap to picture POTUS being in the dark about anything. The Act states, "Funds appropriated to an Executive branch agency may not be used for publicity or propaganda purposes within the United States unless authorized by law."

"It's time for Congress to shut down the Administration's propaganda mill," Lautenberg said in a statement. "It has no place in the United States Government."

"The act would allow citizens to bring qui tam lawsuits on behalf of the U.S. government when the Department of Justice does not respond. If the matter is taken to court, the bill proposes that the senior official responsible would be fined three times the amount of the 'misspent taxpayer funds' plus an additional fine ranging from $5,000 to $10,000. And if a citizen's qui tam suit is accepted, the bill proposes that the plaintiff receives between 25 and 30% of the proceeds of the fine," Senatory Kennedy explained. "It's an abuse of taxpayer funds and an abuse of the First Amendment and freedom of the press. If the President is serious about stopping these abuses, he will support this legislation."

Qui tam (“key' tom”) is shorthand for the Latin, qui tam pro domino rege quam pro si ipso in hac parte sequiter, or, “who sues on behalf of the King as well as for himself.” Early English kings had no Justice Dept. or FBI or Homeland Security to prosecute thefts from the Privy Purse. Kings used their subjects to bring “popular actions” to protect the royal treasure trove. The lawsuits were known as qui tam actions. If an action was successful, the king would receive part recovered mon and the prosecuting subject, the rest. It looks like most qui tam suits now come from "whistleblowers," although Keelin Curran or Dave Hokit may disagree with my usual half-baked understanding of The Law.
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Painting: Flag 16

click image to enlarge. /jack

Adlai Stevenson's Proposal

"I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them."

Federal Communications Commission To The Parents Television Council: Quit Dicking Around!

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You may call President Nixon by his nickname, Dick. [1]
You may call the late President a dick, a synonym for jerk. [2]
You may not refer to RMN's sexual organ, using his nickname's homonym. [3]
You may not be able to say that ex-POTUS Richard Nixon "d***ed" the people of the United States. [4]
You may say that he dicked around too long with Watergate. [5]
You may say that he dicked the Vietnamese War. [6]

In a move guaranteed to absolutely muck up the Maginot Line of Decency, the F.C.C. denied 36 indecency complaints yesterday. Those complaints were filed by the Parents Television Council, conservative watchdogs that file thousands of complaints each year. This notoriously priggish group of killjoys has criticized the F.C.C's crackdown on indecency as not being punitive enough on broadcasters. Today, Tim Winter, executive director of the PTC, is squealing like a mortally wounded swamp sow.

The complaints booted by the F.C.C. stem from episodes of shows such as "NYPD Blue," "Dawson's Creek" and "Boston Public." The offending programs feature characters using a term that is a synonym for "jerk."[2] Other complaints the F.C.C. denied focused on episodes of "Friends," "Will & Grace," "Scrubs" and other programs in which the characters discussed sex.

We know that of the hundreds of thousands of words in the English language, there are seven you cannot say on broadcast TV.

Television may show buttocks. "NYPD Blue" had episodes in which both Dennis Franz and David Caruso's buttocks were shown (boo) as well as showing the buttocks of Kim Delaney and Andrea Thompson (hurrah).

Television is permitted to show dead people naked if they are piled in a mass grave [7]. The breasts and buttocks of non-white people are routinely shown in National Geographic TV specials. You may show the breasts and buttocks and even full frontal nudity of white people, if they are prisoners of war, or interned in a death camp [8]. It is OK to show a nipple if it has a sword or knife through it, but not if it has a ring through it. In fact, it's probably not kosher to show many of these parts if the person has a heartbeat. It was not OK when Janet Jackson aired her nipple out for three seconds.

It's hard to know what we know. Will the new F.C.C. Chairperson step up the crackdown, or continue to ease up the rules (if that is what is happening here)?. Rejecting these claims seems like an interesting step. The PTC, naturally, would like to see one of their own in the Chairman position. The next thing we hear from from the F.C.C. may well be a "course correction." Steady as she goes, fellas!

[1] Among others, nicknames for Richard include, Rich, Richie, Rick, and Dick.
[2] Or, a person, almost always a man, regarded as mean or contemptible.
[3] A vulgar synonym for the penis, along with Johnson, John Thomas, tallywhacker, member, one-eyed Jack, and hundreds of other synonyms. The Germans refer to all genitalia as "the parts of shame. "
[4] Since that usage alludes to the vulgar term for the act of sexual intercourse.
[5] Here, dicked means to spend time idly, or, fool around.
[6] Dicked, in this sense meaning "to botch or bungle."
[7] In numerous documentaries and news programs on The Holocaust and the German concentration camps.
[8] Spielberg's "Schindler's List," broadcast on national television, included several scenes of frontal nudity.
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poem: Not Past Tense Yet

I can't get him out of my mind;
he's been out of his own for years.

He stares into the cracked mirror,
hoping that spontaneous combustion

will take him to that cold island
across the river.
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jack brummet

Not This Future

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foo

Pretty In Pink And Deranged: A Mark Ryden Show In Seattle

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I went to see Mark Ryden's show this weekend at the Frye Art Museum in Seattle. I went twice. Wow. He is an amazing figurative and technical painter, and a master of juxtaposition, of color and light, and of evoking bygone images and concepts, alongside the modern. Ryden's work makes most of the famed surrealist painters look like chumps.

These thirty paintings are dense, whimsical, terrifying, and always surprising. Ryden's art seems to echo Freud, Surrealism, Classic painting, symbolism, dream theory, and French ultra-realist painters, as well as being influenced by realistic (and nostalgic) children's book art. Forget all this blather, 'though, and just go see the show. I haven't enjoyed a modern painter's work so much in many years.

The frames in this exhibition are some of the coolest I have ever seen. In some cases, he appears to have the frames entirely custom made--carved, finished, and aged. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the frames cost $10,000 to make. They alone are worth seeing.

If you live near Seattle, or Pasadena, where the show will move in February, don't miss this disturbing and exhilarating show...

His web site http://www.markryden.com is well worth visiting. The show catalog is wonderful, and is available at the Frye, and at Amazon.com.
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Johnny Carson

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Breaking news reports this morning say Johnny Carson has died. Johnny was a huge pop culture presence, and if you are "of a certain age," you remember when he was on television that there was little else on. By the time The Tonight Show came on at 11:30 PT, a lot of the other stations had signed off for the night (even major cities only had a few stations). I won't go on about how iconic he was, or about how he helped break so many major comedians, or how he was "cool" in the Hugh Hefner/Rat Pack sort of world. You'll be able to read about him later today.

The Beach Boys (when Brian Wilson was in his seriously wacked out phase) wrote a song entitled Johnny Carson. It was one of their very strangest songs ever (right up there with Take Good Care of Your Feet). The lyrics don't do the song justice...you have to hear it to appreciate how truly bizarre it is:

He sits behind his microphone
John-ny Car-son
He speaks in such a manly tone
John-ny Car-son
Ed McMahon comes on and says "Here's Johnny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny

It's (nice) to (have) you (on) the (show) tonight
I've seen (your) act (in) Vegas out of sight
When guests are boring he fills up the slack
John-ny Car-son
The network makes him break his back
John-ny Car-son

Ed McMahon comes on and says "Here's Johnny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
Don't (you) think (he's) such (a) natural guy
The (way) he's (kept) it (up) could make you cry

Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.
[repeat chorus four times]
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Random Numbers And Deviates

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A classic and strange book has been reissued. A Million Random Digits With 100,000 Normal Deviates [1] by our old friends, The Rand Corporation. It retails for $30 (paperback) and you can get it for $20 at amazon. The reviews, of course, are hilarious geek humor. Click on the title of this entry to read more about the book. Or buy it!

[1] The book routinely used by statisticians, physicists, polltakers, market analysts, lottery administrators, and quality control engineers. A 2001 article in the New York Times on the value of randomness featured the original edition of the book, published in 1955 by the Free Press. The rights have since reverted to RAND, and in this digital age, they wanted to reissue a new edition of the book in its original format.

One Of My Favorite Government Photographs

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Unfortunately, it's not a flying saucer, but the domed top of a 70 foot long vacuum tank in Cleveland, Ohio at the renamed John H. Glenn Research Center. The guys in protective clothing had just emerged from within the tank where they had been cleaning in the toxic mercury atmosphere. This NASA photo was taken on January 1, 1961. Ike had three weeks left in office. John Glenn hadn't even gone into outer space yet. Camelot was about to be in session. /jack
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Painting: Sixteen Panels

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