digital art: The Dance

41 years ago, we landed on the moon. Links to alternate theories on whether we actually made it, or made it first. . .

By Jack Brummet
Paranormal & Extraterrestrial Affairs Editor

Forty-one years ago, the American astronaut Neil Armstrong, a quarter million miles from Earth stepped on the moon saying, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." He became the first human to walk on the surface of the moon.  Probably.  Or did he?  We've covered this story a few times in the last six years as part of our Alien Lore series.  Here are links to some of the possibilities, ranging from wildly improbable to somewhat plausible:

Alien Lore: Neil Armstrong's Moonwalk and Oral Sex
Alien Lore No. 81 - The Skeleton on the moon
Forty years ago today, we landed on the moon
Alien Lore No. 154 - Life on the moon?
Nixon's back pocket speech in the event of a moon landing disaster
Alien Lore No. 134 - Moonwalker claims cover-up
Michael Jackson moonwalk video clips
The Six Faked Moon Landings?
Alien Lore No. 29 - Nazis On The Moon!!
Alien Lore 53 - The Moon Dust File
Alien Lore No. 108 - The spaceship on the moon

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Video: The U.S. Army's "Personal Hygiene"

"A film you will remember long after others are forgotten. This U.S. Army production introduces us to 'Homer,' a hillbilly-type who smells real bad. The guys in his barracks have to figure some way to encourage him to take a bath. They hit upon the idea of creating new lyrics for folk songs, and at this point the film quickly spins out of control, as Homer's loveable gang of GIs warbles tune after tune, such as 'Fresh And Clean,' and 'Wash Your Socks.'

Jump here to view or download the movie.
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Day of the Dead rocks!

Day of the Dead (George Romero's third Zombie movie) is excellent. It was panned, and totally stiffed at the box office, when it came out. But in the pantheon, it's way up there now, at least in mine.  This was a sweet trifecta: Night of, Dawn of, and Day of). Glad I finally took the time to watch.
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Ex-Governor Palin riding low in the water & high in the polls

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
& Jack Brummet, Social Mores & Ethics Editor

Holy S***t!    People laughed when Jack wrote a year and a half ago that Sarah Palin had a serious shot at succeeding President Barack Obama--after one term.  Pablo laughed, and didn't take his jabbering as half-serious...it was just Jack being contrarian Jack.   But then, a few months later, the Teabag movement began gathering momentum, Sarah Palin had sold millions of books, and piled away millions of dollars. She was making highly paid speeches.  She's been racing around the country and beating the drum for teabagger-approved candidates. 

This recent Gallup Poll raised the collective hairs on our necks. 

We haven't seen any recent Palin-Obama head to head polls, but this is feeling more than a little spooky.  The juggernaut we all thought would blow itself out by now is still picking up steam.  Even Levi is back on the bus.
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Presidential Succession, now, and then. . .

By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor

I'm pretty sure my fascination with Presidential succession began sometime in about 1973, when it became clear that we would actually experience once.  After the death of FDR, Harry Truman worked to clean up the succession system.  And mostly it was a good job.  We got through the JFK assassination; we got through the Nixon succession relatively unscathed. 

Things got a little weird after the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan, but only because the Secretary of State, Al Haig, misspoke:  "I'm in control here."  This was a tempest in a teapot, since Haig knew from his days as Nixon's Chief of Staff exactly what the order and protocol of succession was.  Since then, all has been more or less, well.  I'll admit, 'though, that the line up during President Bush's eight year term was spooky, largely because it could have catapulted Dick Cheney into the Oval Office.  That being said, that was probably not nearly as gut-wrenching as the four long years Dan Quayle was just one heartbeat away from the Presidency. 

In the list that follows, I have also added the succession counterparts from the George W. Bush administration.  The lists don't quite match up anymore, since the Homeland Security Secretary is no longer in the top ten.

Potential successors to President Barack. H. Obama:

1 Vice President Joe Biden (VP Dick Cheney in the Bush years)
2 Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (House Speaker Dennis Hastert in the Bush years)
3 President pro tempore of the Senate Daniel Inouye (Senate President Pro Tem Ted Stevens in the Bush Years...wait...isn't he doing time now?)
4 Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton (Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in the Bush years)
5 Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner (Treasury Secretary John Snow under GWB)
6 Secretary of Defense Robert Gates (Donald Rumseld during the Bush years...how Rummy as Pres is such a toe curling prospect, I don't even like to think about what have happened had that went down).
7 Attorney General Eric Holder (Attorney General Alberto Gonzales during the Bush reign...wait...isn't he in jail too?)
8 Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar (No. 8 slot was formerly held by Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff)
9 Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack (Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton under Bush)
10 Secretary of Commerce Gary Locke (Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns under W).
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Opening 2012 dustup: Romney v. Palin

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
on assignment in New Orleans

Yesterday, a Romney insider told Time Magazine that they "do not believe Sarah Palin is a ’serious human being,'."  Politico called someone in the Ex-Alaska Governor's camp, where they were told that comment was “frankly immature."  Romney more or less Tweeted an apology.

I suspect there will be lots of great back and forth between the Palin camp and all the (so far) many other candidates.  Ex-Governor Palin is definitely on steadier ground when she can have the ghost-writers cook up her press releases.  But, I for one, mainly look forward to her debate performances.  Read more at one of my favorite political snark sites:  Wonkette. 

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BP's incontinence

By Pablo Fanque

National Affairs Editor

I worked for a year in college as an orderly in a nursing home.  I know something about bowel management.  For the last three months we have witnessed and been victimized by a savage case of mismanaged corporate & government bowel management. 

BP is incontinent, and only yesterday were they able to staunch the flow, momentarily.  It looks like Plan M may actually work.  For the first time in three months, the oil filling the Gulf has stopped.  Fortunately, incontinence in holes drilled several miles down through the sea floor, through a mile of water, may be corkable.  Alas, such is not the fate of home sapiens experiencing incontinence. You just can't put a cork in it.

If this latest corking scheme actually does what it's supposed to do, the sea floor doesn't crack or open a gaping sinkhole or port from Hell, and if the relief wells they've been feverishly digging actually work. . .well, we can at least call it over and maybe get serious about the enormous damage the oil leak wrought upon the southeast already.  Maybe people will even start thinking about how we can use less oil.  Right.

BP finally stops oil spewing from Gulf gusher
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Mea Culpa: we did it too--dozens of references on All This Is That equating George Bush or the GOP to Brown Shirts, Stalin, The Ku Klux Klan, and Adolf Hitler

By Jack Brummet, Social Mores, Poetry, Painting, and Paranormal Editor

& Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

A billboard created by an Iowa tea- bagger group compares President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and Vladimir Lenin,  It is drawing heat from just about every political group and wing...even  from fellow tea party activists who find it offensive, a waste of money, or both.

The North Iowa Tea Party put up the billboard in downtown Mason City, IA last week. The sign shows photographs of (the actually fairly traditional) Democrat Obama,  the Nazi Hitler and Bolshevik/Communist Lenin labeled "Democratic Socialism," "National Socialism," and "Marxist Socialism."  Underneath the photos is the phrase, "Radical leaders prey on the fearful & naive."

The co-founder of the 200-person group said the billboard was intended to send an anti-socialist message. He later admitted yesterday that the message may have gotten lost...what with the references to Lenin and the Nazis.    Right.

Who are we to cast stones?  Neither of the authors of this article were particularly surprised to learn how many times their works on this site invoked Gulags, Nazis, the KGB, the Klan, Pol Pot, The National Front, and other hate and extremist groups. . .and almost every one of these references was directed to President George W. Bush, his minions, and policies.

We'll admit that we deplore the implications of the billboard.  Politically, however, we are utterly baffled why this has become a firestorm.  That's politics, pals. Neither of us find the billboard offensive.  This is just politics being played out.  McGovern took the same kinds of shots in his '72 Presidential run. 

Get over this Democrats...we have way bigger fights to fight.  Why we really can't throw stones in this case--a sample of our postings during the George Bush years:

• President Bush lights up the "c***suckers" in the press
• President George Bush 'channels' Adolph Hitler during Iowa speech (includes audio clip)
• Bush and Abramoff captured together in explicit photographs
• Revelation: President Now Suffers Enuresis--More Trouble Every Day
• George Bush sees ghosts
• Jimmy Carter Reams Bush: Bush Responds Like A Wounded Swamp Sow
• President Bush finally beats Nixon & becomes the most unpopular ...
• Former Press Secretary McClellan says Bush, Cheney, Rove, Libby Lied
• Laura Bush puts the mark on George Bush/President Bush rumored to ...
• Retired General George Washington Lashes Out At President Bush
• President Bush drunk at Camp David
• Alien Lore No. 65 - George Bush, Dick Cheney & The Greys
• President Bush: "Stop doing this shit!"
• President Bush, remembering images of her tush, makes a move on ...
• President Bush, reacting to yesterday's article on All This Is ...
• Presidents Bush and Chirac, and Queen Elizabeth II F*** For Peace!
• Priests to Purify Archaeological Site After President Bush Visit
• Former President George HW Bush excoriates his son's war
• President Hugo Chávez: Hang President Bush First
• George Bush sees ghosts
• Priests to Purify Archaeological Site After President Bush's Visit

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Random, amusing, and/or disturbing photos I've found or been sent over the last couple of months...

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The hidden message in President Obama's signature: a penis?

As many people and sites have recently pointed out, President Obama's signature, rotated 90 degrees, closely resembles a penis.

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Colton Harris-Moore's Death Wish

For over two years Colton Harris-Moore stayed about seven steps ahead of The Heat.  He spent years hiding out in the San Juan Islands, 50 miles up the coast from Seattle.  He broke into dozens (actually, probably hundreds?) of houses and businesses, stole cars, powerboats and quite a few airplanes, and somehow, he acquired a rep as a 21st-century folk hero. He was not a Robin Hood, but a guy who thumbed his nose at cops and prosecutors.  In the end, Colton Harris-Moore's fame probably led to his downfall.  When authorities knew he was in The Bahamas, they papered the islands with flyers of his likeness.  And then yesterday, the police found him in a stolen boat in very shallow water.  He tried to outrace them, but in the end, he was caught.

After he crash landed a plane stolen in the U.S. near the coast of the Bahamas, broke into a few businesses and grabbed a few boats, they made a D.N.A. match.  Witnesses on the Bahamian island of Eleuthera recognized the 19-year-old Barefoot Bandit from the flyers and called the cops, who nailed him today, (Sunday) after a high-speed boat chase.  What was he thinking?  A six foot five American blending into a country where people were mostly Bahama natives a foot shorter than Harris-Moore?  He was far better off hiding on Puget Sound, where presumably friends and family leant a helping hand.  Never emerging in daylight seemed like the sensible move.  On the other hand, maybe it was a death wish.  After he branched out from the Pacific Northwest, he seemed to get increasingly sloppy in the midwest and the Caribbean.  He may have been tired of running.  It looks like he will do some time in the Bahamas, and then be shipped back to the U.S., where there are dozens of cases pending against him in several states.

He does have John Henry Brown, the criminal defense lawyer, as his counsel.  But I don't think he'll slip out of this one...
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