Double painting by Jack Brummet: Eden/The Tooth Monster

Digital Painting by Jack Brummet

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Faces No. 188: Sections

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drawing by Jack Brummet

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The Four Horsepeople Of The Apocalypse: The Republican Front-runners Romney, Palin, Huckabee, and Gingrich

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
Illustration by Jack Brummet, Social Mores Editor

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In the Republican-Tea Party, there is, at the moment, a four-candidate top-tier including Ex-Governor Palin, Former Governor Mike Huckabee, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and former House Speaker Newt "Contract On America" Gingrich.

A recent Quinnipiac University poll showed the four of them all in a pretty tight cluster--with each potentially receiving around 15 to 19 percent of the vote. 

Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty, Haley Barbour, John Thune, Mike Pence, Rick Santorum, Mitch Daniels, Gary Johnson, Chris Christie all pulled from 1 to 5% of the potential voters.

Let's face it. . .the Republicans have to be scared sh**less!   I don't think the Tea Party wing is smart enough to be spooked.  The one candidate that seems mostly likely to be elected--Mitt Romney--is not loved, and the party activists like neither his religion nor the excellent health-care bill he marshaled through in Massachusetts.

Obviously this is an extremely early poll and EVERYTHING can--and probably will--change.  And then remember, too, I published my first list Democratic front-runners at about this same time in the election cycle last time around.  Barack Obama wasn't even on my list. . .just in case you're wondering how solid these prognostications are.

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The WikiLeaks Conundrum

By Jack Brummet
Social Mores Editor, All This Is That

Julian Assange - Mr. WikiLeaks

It's fascinating that WikiLeaks is still breathing. When you think of the people we (yes, we, of we the people) have assassinated--from low level intelligence operatives, up to and including, Presidents of foreign countries--you really do have to wonder how do these guys survive? Sure, there's Executive Order 12333, but that didn't save Ngo Dinh Diem in Vietnam, or Patrice Lumumba in the Congo, or Rene Schneider in Chile. Maybe Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan too. And we made more than one hapless attempt on Fidel's life. So how does Julian Assange--variously described as somewhat paranoid to nuttier than a fruitcake--get a pass once again?

Today our government shut down hundreds of counterfeit, pirate, and software download sites. Whatever the merits of their uber-Freedom of Information stance, WikiLeaks seems to be faring much better than a site selling fake designer tennis shoes did today.

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Mario Cuomo's words from 1984 sound similar to our situation today, except The GOP has had another quarter century to redistrbute the wealth upwards...

Mario Cuomo in his keynote address at the 1984 Democratic Convention:

"Now, how important is this question of the deficit. Think about it practically: What chance would the Republican candidate have had in 1980 if he had told the American people that he intended to pay for his so-called economic recovery with bankruptcies, unemployment, more homeless, more hungry, and the largest government debt known to humankind? If he had told the voters in 1980 that truth, would American voters have signed the loan certificate for him on Election Day? Of course not! That was an election won under false pretenses. It was won with smoke and mirrors and illusions. And that's the kind of recovery we have now as well."

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The Window: a joke

A guy goes into a bar on the tenth floor of a hotel. He has a couple of drinks, and stands up. He announces loudly that he has had enough, walks over and jumps out the window.

Two men sitting at a window table watch as the man plummets to certain death. But, as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands softly. He turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are stunned. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, and does it again.

The men at the window seat are flabbergasted! When the guy returns, the two men stop him before he jumps again and ask him how he does that.

"It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, when you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground."   He jumps out the window again.

The two men, of course, decide they have to do it too. They jump out the window, and SPLAT!

The first guy ambles back into to the bar. He sits down to order a drink, and the bartender says "Superman. . .you can be a real a**hole when you're drunk."

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Jack Brummet Drawing: Faces No. 186

by Jack Brummet

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Digital Art: The Eye

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The University of Movies

This is a concatenation of three different "internet files," with a few of my own lines thrown in. Authorship of the originals is totally unknown. I found several people claiming authorship of parts of it...so who really knows?   These are files I gophered, FTP'd, etc., around ten years ago.  These tidbits of wisdom may be even more applicable now than they were then...

 

• During all police investigations it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• Dogs can survive natural and man-made disasters that wipe out entire human populations. 
•  If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing Chinese New Year parade -- any day of the year.  
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
•  All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French Bread and celery.
•  Anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
•  Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba diving.
•  The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
• If you need to reload your gun, more ammo will always appear...
• You're very likely to survive any battle in any war--unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. An approximate German accents works fine.  
• If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster, serial killer, or beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade. 
• The Eiffel Tower is visible from every window in Paris. 
• A man shows no pain while taking a ferocious beating but winces when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 
• If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it in the next few minutes. 
• The Chief of Police is always black. 
• When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill -- it will always be the exact fare. 
• Interbreeding is possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. 
• Kitchens don't have light switches at night -- you should open the refrigerator door and use that light instead. 
• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 
• Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning. 
• Cars that crash always burst into flames. 
• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a stadium. 
• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
• Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. 
• It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. 
• Even when driving down a straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 
•  It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting, especially in New York and L.A. 
• Many detectives can only solve a case once they have been suspended from duty.
•  If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will know all the steps.
•  Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one-by-one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
• When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they never suffer a concussion or brain damage. 
• Nobody involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock -- if they do, they will die within five minutes.
• Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their exact opposite.
• When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
•  You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
• Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
• Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment

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Painting: The Witch's Vortex

Digital Painting -- The Witch's Vortex
by Jack Brummet

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jack brummet painting: purgatory

Purgatory - analog/digital painting
by Jack Brummet

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Pictorial history of the Presidential turkey pardon

President Harry S. Truman seems to have been the first President to issue a pardon to a Thanksgiving turkey, in 1947.  All subsequent Presidents have carried on the tradition.

Click all images to enlarge. . .

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