click to enlarge
---o0o---
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Rick Perry's Presidential quest ends in 53 mortifying seconds
By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
illustration by Jack Brummet
Rick Perry will drop out of the race in the next ten days. Even if nothing else goes wrong, his campaign funds will surely dry up beginning a couple hours ago.
This has to be the most pathetic and humiliating debate appearance I have ever seen, except, possibly, Admiral James Stockdale's performance in his 1992 debate with Al Gore and Dan Quayle. Stockdale opened the debate by saying, "Who am I? Why am I here?" His opening drew great mirth and laughter, because the audience seemed to think he was joshing about his obscurity and lack of traditional qualifications for the office. But as he bumbled through the debate, it became clear he was in way over his head.
Tonight, Governor Rick Perry confirmed what most of us knew and the rest suspected--that, he too, is in way over his head, For one horrible minute, Perry could not recall the name of a government department he is planning to kill off. I cringed, and actually felt terribly sorry for him as he tried to grin and chuckle his way through it. But he couldn't.
Perry knew the damage was incalculable. He even showed up in the spin-room post-debate (which is normally handled by staffers) and said "I'm sure glad I had my boots on because I sure stepped in it out there."
illustration by Jack Brummet
Rick Perry will drop out of the race in the next ten days. Even if nothing else goes wrong, his campaign funds will surely dry up beginning a couple hours ago.
This has to be the most pathetic and humiliating debate appearance I have ever seen, except, possibly, Admiral James Stockdale's performance in his 1992 debate with Al Gore and Dan Quayle. Stockdale opened the debate by saying, "Who am I? Why am I here?" His opening drew great mirth and laughter, because the audience seemed to think he was joshing about his obscurity and lack of traditional qualifications for the office. But as he bumbled through the debate, it became clear he was in way over his head.
Tonight, Governor Rick Perry confirmed what most of us knew and the rest suspected--that, he too, is in way over his head, For one horrible minute, Perry could not recall the name of a government department he is planning to kill off. I cringed, and actually felt terribly sorry for him as he tried to grin and chuckle his way through it. But he couldn't.
"It's three agencies of government when I get there that are gone: commerce, education, and the uh ... what's the third one, there? Let's see." He then said, "The third one. I can't." And he performed an auto-coup-de-grace by then saying "Oops." Fifteen long, long minutes later he said "By the way that was the department of energy I was reaching for a while ago."Herman Cain, who everyone suspected would be "on the barbie" tonight, got off the hook after Perry's pitiful showing.
Perry knew the damage was incalculable. He even showed up in the spin-room post-debate (which is normally handled by staffers) and said "I'm sure glad I had my boots on because I sure stepped in it out there."
---o0o---
Pants on Fire! William Saletan's article in Slate this morning "Herman Cain’s press conference about his sexual harassment accusers is a road map to his destruction."
By Mona Goldwater, Women in the Workplace Editor
This is an excerpt from William Saletan's article in Slate this morning "Herman Cain’s press conference about his sexual harassment accusers is a road map to his destruction."
This is an excerpt from William Saletan's article in Slate this morning "Herman Cain’s press conference about his sexual harassment accusers is a road map to his destruction."
"You can lie about what you believe. You can lie about what you’d do if elected. You can deny that your tax reform plan would raise taxes. You can get away with all of these things because they’re matters of speculation, interpretation, or argument. But if you make specific factual claims about the past, as Cain did in his Tuesday press conference about sexual harassment allegations, you can be flatly disproved. Worse, you can goad your accusers into backing up their charges with evidence. That’s what Cain has done. His press conference is a road map to his destruction."
---o0o---
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
5ives.com
By Jack Brummet, Blog and website editor
I really miss Merlin's 5ives.com, which has gone dormant again. This was/is one of the funniest sites that ever existed on the web. Check it out and dig back through the archives.
Five cutting-edge greeting cards
1.Mazel Tov on That Reversed Vasectomy!
2.Third Divorce is a Charm, Mom!
3.Your New Boobs Look Large and Super-Hard!
4.Condolences on Your Poorly-Thought-Out Home-Based Business!
5.I’m Minding Your Halitosis Less!
___________
Five menu items at Silver Spoon Thai that could also be the name of an unsuccessful sex worker
1.Jasmine Rice
2.Ginger Snapper
3.Rainbow Salad
4.Volcano Prawns
5.Pumpkin Curry
___________
Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels
1.Rash and Rationality
2.Punk and Punctuality
3.Beast and Bestiality
4.Funk and Functionality
5.Fried and Credulous
___________
Five ways Angelina Jolie can quickly acquire more children
1. gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bags
2. make Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house
3. explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)
4. surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sack
5. lay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young
___________
Five ways you’re unleashing the power of your blog
1.tearing the veil away from the morally bankrupt raincheck policy at Marshall’s
2.“crowdsourcing” the naming of your new unicycle
3.taking a symbolic day off from blogging to protest the unjust treatment of “some Oriental dude” you read about on Slashdot
4.daring to name names in the “personal holocaust of customer service” you recently suffered at Fry’s
5.funny new snapshot of your kitty, “Warrant Officer Ripley,” acting like she’s people
I really miss Merlin's 5ives.com, which has gone dormant again. This was/is one of the funniest sites that ever existed on the web. Check it out and dig back through the archives.
Five cutting-edge greeting cards
1.Mazel Tov on That Reversed Vasectomy!
2.Third Divorce is a Charm, Mom!
3.Your New Boobs Look Large and Super-Hard!
4.Condolences on Your Poorly-Thought-Out Home-Based Business!
5.I’m Minding Your Halitosis Less!
___________
Five menu items at Silver Spoon Thai that could also be the name of an unsuccessful sex worker
1.Jasmine Rice
2.Ginger Snapper
3.Rainbow Salad
4.Volcano Prawns
5.Pumpkin Curry
___________
Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels
1.Rash and Rationality
2.Punk and Punctuality
3.Beast and Bestiality
4.Funk and Functionality
5.Fried and Credulous
___________
Five ways Angelina Jolie can quickly acquire more children
1. gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bags
2. make Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house
3. explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)
4. surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sack
5. lay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young
___________
Five ways you’re unleashing the power of your blog
1.tearing the veil away from the morally bankrupt raincheck policy at Marshall’s
2.“crowdsourcing” the naming of your new unicycle
3.taking a symbolic day off from blogging to protest the unjust treatment of “some Oriental dude” you read about on Slashdot
4.daring to name names in the “personal holocaust of customer service” you recently suffered at Fry’s
5.funny new snapshot of your kitty, “Warrant Officer Ripley,” acting like she’s people
---o0o---
A Donald Rumsfeld poem: A broken bone (from an interview he did five years ago)
By Jack Brummet, Poetry Editor
A Broken Bone [1]
By Donald Rumsfeld
[1] This poem is extracted from interviews with Bob Woodward in July, 2006.
Click on Rummy and President Ford to enlarge
If you don't set it,
Everything grows around the break
And you end up with that abnormality.
I used the phrase it's like teaching
A youngster how to ride a bicycle.
You run behind them with your hand in the seat.
At some point you've got to take some fingers off,
And then you've got to let go,
And they might fall.
You help pick them up and put them back on it.
But if you don't take your hand off,
You end up with a 40-year-old who can't ride a bike.
A Broken Bone [1]
By Donald Rumsfeld
[1] This poem is extracted from interviews with Bob Woodward in July, 2006.
Click on Rummy and President Ford to enlarge
If you don't set it,
Everything grows around the break
And you end up with that abnormality.
I used the phrase it's like teaching
A youngster how to ride a bicycle.
You run behind them with your hand in the seat.
At some point you've got to take some fingers off,
And then you've got to let go,
And they might fall.
You help pick them up and put them back on it.
But if you don't take your hand off,
You end up with a 40-year-old who can't ride a bike.
---o0o--
Narwhals!
By Jack Brummet, photograph editor
We can't tell where this image originated; TinEye.com turned up 75 instances of the photo, but none of them seem to be the original. If it's yours, let us know and we'll credit you or remove it!
We can't tell where this image originated; TinEye.com turned up 75 instances of the photo, but none of them seem to be the original. If it's yours, let us know and we'll credit you or remove it!
click to enlarge
---o0o---
Monday, November 07, 2011
Herman Cain: ‘I Am the Koch Brothers’ Brother from Another Mother!’
By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
Yes, Herman Cain actually said this this weekend. Twice.
Yes, Herman Cain actually said this this weekend. Twice.
---o0o---
Sunday, November 06, 2011
Philip Levine on BHO, and The Presidency
By Jack Brummet, Poetry Editor
I've always liked Philip Levine's poetry, and his politics. At 83, he is our new Poet Laureate. This morning in the New York Times Magazine, he weighed in on President Obama, and who we probably need as President right now. His answer was stunning (all the more so, because I think he's right, and I've mentioned the same fellow before here).
You’ve said you always vote for “the impossible losing candidate” that the Democrats put up. Your team actually won last time. What do you think so far?
Philip Levine: Well, we think we won.
You think Obama’s a Manchurian Candidate?
Philip Levine: No. I don’t. But I think I voted for a man who is not as able and confident as I thought. When he campaigned, he seemed like a genius, but I think he may not have been up to the task. It’s foolish to say this, but the guy we need right now is Lyndon Johnson. We need a bully and a really shrewd manipulator.
I've always liked Philip Levine's poetry, and his politics. At 83, he is our new Poet Laureate. This morning in the New York Times Magazine, he weighed in on President Obama, and who we probably need as President right now. His answer was stunning (all the more so, because I think he's right, and I've mentioned the same fellow before here).
You’ve said you always vote for “the impossible losing candidate” that the Democrats put up. Your team actually won last time. What do you think so far?
Philip Levine: Well, we think we won.
Philip Levine: No. I don’t. But I think I voted for a man who is not as able and confident as I thought. When he campaigned, he seemed like a genius, but I think he may not have been up to the task. It’s foolish to say this, but the guy we need right now is Lyndon Johnson. We need a bully and a really shrewd manipulator.
---o0o---
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