Sunday, December 31, 2006

Presidents Ford & Clinton: One of my favorite Presidential photographs

I saw this picture for the first time the day President Gerald Ford passed away. It's probably a few years old, since I know by the time the Clinton Presidential Library opened that Gerald Ford no longer felt comfortable traveling. Gerald Ford looks about 85 or so in this picture, so it might have been about the time of Bill Clinton's "retirement."


click the presidents to enlarge
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The Saddam Hussein Hanging Video


You may need to click above twice to see the video (don't ask me why)

Someone in that room where Saddam Hussein was hung Saturday had a camera phone and recorded the run-up to, and the actual hanging itself. All the hand-wringing by the U.S. and Iraqi governments about whether to videotape the hanging. . .and more debate on whether to release it—if they did indeed tape it in the first place—was moot. It was moot because someone took it in their own hands to tape the execution. And put it on the internet.

The video looks clandestine. . .mainly because the camera is aimed at the floor on a couple of occasions, as if the videographer was hiding the camera/phone when someone was looking at them. It's as utterly depressing as every execution, and bizarre because of the number of voices, and the yelling. This is in no way the somber setting we've come to expect at an execution. The voices are agitated, and, in places, sound almost like chanting. If the Google video player embedded in this post is not working, go here.

---o0o---

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Is there really something to celebrate. . .in Sadam Hussein's hanging?


click painting to enlarge...

Is there really something to celebrate. . .in an execution? Even the execution of a monster? Is there really anything to celebrate now that we have killed, or our actions have led to the killing, of more people in Iraq than Hussein ever had a chance to murder? I don't think so.


Are we even any closer to "winning" or giving Iraq a leg up than we were that day three years ago when the "coalition" forces pulled him out of his foxhole? No. In fact, we have probably lost ground.
---o0o---

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Necktie Transfer Of Saddam Hussein Could Occur Any Moment



Saddam Hussein may be hanged within hours, Iraqi officials said today. The prime minister is speaking with the U.S. to determine if the execution should go ahead the day before the feast of Eid al-Adha—a week-long religious holiday that begins tomorrow.



The president, justice minister, and prime minister, Sami al-Askari, have given the greenlight. The only holdup now appears to be "the fate of the body" and the location of the hanging.
---o0o---

Rick Danko would have turned 64 today. . .





. . .if he had made it. Danko was one of the most generous and lovable souls of rock and roll. His life was no picnic, but he never complained.

If you want to see him at his best, check out the movie, The Last Waltz, and watch him sing and play, and watch him react to people like Joni Mitchell, The Hawk, and Muddy Waters. The interviews were a mixed bag—but he was clearly a mighty presence. He obviously did not like taking orders from Scorsese (witness his pissed off opening at the pool table).

Another great cinematic Danko moment occurs when he is singing inebriated with Janis Joplin on the train in The Festival Express.



---o0o---

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Some of the players in the Ford Administration


Some ex-Presidents --click to enlarge

As we mourn the passing of President Ford, I remember some of the players in that administration. Some of those players are still bedeviling us, and one, we just unloaded a week ago! If you consider the spawn of Ford Administration players, well, then we still have George W. Bush waging war, breaking the bank, and ignoring domestic policy, unless it falls under the bailiwick of fundamentalism.

Defense Secretary: Donald Rumsfeld
Chief of Staff: Dick Cheney
Secretary of State: Dr. Henry Kissinger
Secretary of H.E.W.: Caspar Weinberger
(later Secretary of Defense under President Reagan, nearly tossed in the hoosegow during the contra-gate scandals, and eventually pardoned by George H.W. Bush after he lost his re-election)
Secretary of Labor: Peter Brennan (a real knuckledragger)
Secretary of Commerce (Briefly): Elliot Richardson (earlier fired by Nixon)
U.S. Representative to the U.N.: Pat Moynihan

C.I.A. Director: George H.W. Bush
Alan Greenspan ran the council of economic advisors.

---o0o---

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Gerald Ford Heads Off For The 19th Hole



Our 38th President, Gerald Ford died yesterday in California. He was the first Vice President appointed under the 25th amendment, and the first President to assume office without benefit of an election. He was in the White House only 895 days, but all it took was one of those days, September 8, 1974, in his first month in office, to PISS OFF VIRTUALLY EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY with a full and unconditional pardon of his predecessor, Richard Milhous Nixon.

It was hard to dislike President Ford. Even his bumbling, tripping, and occasional tongue-tied speechifying had a certain folksy charm. He bcame the first Presidential target of the then brand-new Saturday Night Live.



President Ford Watches the 1976 election returns with his
old pal Joe Garigiola

He was never actually elected either as V.P., or as President. He appointed Rocky as his Vice-President! It was a crazy time to be President, between Vietnam and the post-Nixon fallout. Gerald Ford held the country together, more or less, after Dick Nixon and his band of misanthropic henchmen did their best to dismantle it. Did I mention that he also served on the infamous Warren Commission?


click to enlarge
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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Saddam Hussein To Be Hanged, Any Day Now—Preferably Televised

The highest court in Iraq has upheld the death sentence of former dictator Saddam Hussein, who must now, they said, be hanged within 30 days (they pegged him for the killing 148 Shiites in Dujail as reprisal for an assassination attempt).

Iraq's high court laughed Saddam Hussein's appeal out the door and said the former dictator must be hanged within 30 days for ordering the killing of scores of Shiite Muslims in 1982.

"From tomorrow, any day could be the day," the chief judge said. Meanwhile, it was just another day in Iraq, with 54 Iraqis killed in bombings, the police discovering 50 more bodies killed in "sectarian reprisal killings." The U.S. announced the deaths of seven American soldiers.

There are reports the hangings of Saddam, and the three other defendants (including Saddam's half-brother) will be televised. I bet The President, who hailed the sentences being upheld, is looking forward to the hangings being beamed into every classroom in the U.S.A.
---o0o---

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Track Santa's flight today and tonight on NORAD


You can track the flight of Santa, and Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. . .by going right here, to Norad.
---o0o---

Paternity tests reveal that Joseph is not the father!


---o0o---

Scrooge!

If you get a chance today or tomorrow, listen to Lord Buckley's version of Scrooge. I am including the text of the performance here. Lord Buckley was an amazing Beat-era writer and performer who greatly influenced a lot ot later comedians and authors. This is transcribed from his performance (which is worth buying...a few Buckley CDs are still in print). You can probably find the MP3 on iTunes, etc., if you scrounge around enough, or if you use a music file sharing program. If not, you could just buy it:

World Pacific Studios, 1960. Released with "Maharajah" as side two of World Pacific WP-1849
Bad Rapping of the Marquis de Sade, CD released in 1996 World Pacific, CPD 7243 8 52676 2 8
Lord Buckley Live: The Tales of Lord Buckley, Shambala Lion Editions, SLE 20, released 1991

It's not Christmas until I've heard Scrooge by Lord Buckley (and Sunb Ra's "It's Christmastime").

Scrooge

by Lord Buckley


"Yes, me, I'm Scrooge and I got all Marley's barley, and I'm the baddest cat in all dis world. I been studyin' all my life how to Scrooge people, and I guarantee I done some fine work in dat direction.

"Cratchit!"

"Yes, sir."

"You busy?"

"I shorely is, sir."

"See dat you keep busy. Don't want no danglin' wanglin' around here. Keep everybody tight. And tell dem two cats come in here want to get some money I ain't givin' no money away. Dey messin' wit Scrooge. I'm takin' it in. I ain't puttin' it out. Issat clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, keep it clear. People comin' around here wantin' my gold dat's all, tryin' to pry into my vault. Every time I turn around somebody's tryin' to snap... "

"Tell my nephew I don't want to have no dinner wid him an' if he never comes in here again dat'll be too soon."

"I'll tell de cat."

"See dat ya do.

"I don't understand dese people who are after my gold. I close up dis here place and den dey ... What, what? Yeah, let me tell you somethin else - You think that you gonna get off Christmas day?"

"Well I was hopin', sir, dat you'd let me knock off just a little while for Christmas Eve cause I want to go home and cool da goose."

"Well if you gonna get off Christmas Eve you gonna have to work aaalllll day Christmas. You hear me?"

"I hear ya, sir. I'm wid it."

"Well I guess I'll go on home here."

So Scrooge takes off and he cuts on down the street. And the snow's blowin' and da winds is wooooooooin', and Scrooge is goin' along in his loose soul and his loose clothes and his hard cash box and his big money mind goin' on in his wig and he ding ding ding up da stairs and he open his door and he gets inside and he puts a double lock on da door cause he a little bugged tonight. He bein' sayin' "Humbug" so long, "Humbug dis," an' "Humbug dat," he done give himself a natural Humbug. He's got da bug hummin' in him, see. So he double-lock da door.

And he sit dere and all of a sudden dere's an old bell layin' over dere in the corner and da bell goes, ding-ding-ding-ding" and Scrooge say, "Whassat?" Dang- dong. "Whassat?" Bell started ringin' "DING DONG DOONG DOONG" Pretty soon all da bells all over the house started ringin' "Ding Ding Dang Dang Dong Ring Dong Boom Boom, Ding dong, Boom boom"

And he hear somethin' like some chain cats are pullin' all da chains from the chains of time up the hill 'a strife ringing' and dinglin' wid his whole head ringin' and dingin' wid dem chains. And bloooop! In come a cat, da wildest lookin' cat ya ever see in his life. Real gone cat.

And Scrooge does a real wild take "I know who dat stud is - dat's Marley! I know dat's Marley! What's he doin' here? Say, Marley?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Man, you sure chained up dere, man, you got chainsville all over you dere!"

"Well, I put em on myself, dat's da way I lived it. I chained myself. I hung myself up wid all dese chains, you know, bein' parsimonious, ya understand what I mean? I can't get 'em off now. I been luggin' dese chains all over da country for the past seven years."

"Dat's a long time. What's you want wit me dere, Marley Marley? cause I got your barley."

"I don't mess wid no barley no more. I wish I'd given it all away when I had it and I'm gonna tell you somethin' else, too, I'm a spook, you know dat."

"You tellin' me. I know dat. You a spook, man, an' I wanna get straight."

"I'm gonna tell you somethin else, too, Mr. Scroogie Scrooge, Dere gonna be three more gas lightin' spooks comin' in to see you."

"Three more gas lightin' spooks. Say, one spook's enough. Can't I have 'em all at one time?"

"No. Dey comin' one at a time. First one be eleven, next one be twelve, next one'll be one."

"Man, if I had known this..."

"Tell you what. You dig, Scrooge, it's what you puttin' down. You been a real sorry cat all dis time. You gonna be gassed now by dese spooks."

"Well, dey say if I gotta be gassed.. Ain't gonna cost me no money, is it?"

"Cost you more 'n dat, Scrooge."

"Dey ain't no more den money!"

"You find out."

Brrrrt. And Marley split.

And old Scrooge is sittin' dere sweatin' and dinglin' danglin'. And all of a sudden, man, he hears some crazy wild kind of a thing goin' on. He don't know just what it is and all of a sudden . . .

Boom

Here comes a great big fat spook, look like takes a hundred and seventy wings lift him off over da house top and he's got de old beat up cat and spandly legs, and strangly arms and pedicured eyes, and a whole out of his skull wiggin' up a storm and he looks at old Scrooge and he says...

Scrooge is standin' dere in the corner he feel like a disrupted small disregarded and unclaimed white mice midget-style, he's sittin' over dere.

And dis spook say, "Come wid me 'cause I is The Ghost of da Christmas Past!"

And Scrooge say, "Do I hafta?"

Say, "You certainly do!"

And he got on the ghost's wing and - brrt - they took off.

And he's flyin' old Scrooge over da top of da mountain da wind is blowin', da wind is partin' his way, and he's lookin' down, and seein' all dese crazy scenes goin' on.

Zoom!

He goes over a few more miles Takes him down to a sun-lit pasture. And da sun-lit pasture's full of children, and de're singin' and dancin' and lovin' and goin' and swingin' and Scrooge say, "Look, look, look! Dat's me down dere!"

"Yeah, dat's you, dat's you."

"I look pretty good"

"Yeah but ya don't look good now,"

He say, "I wanna hip you gotta get yourself ?

Zoom!

He takes him over to another place and he shows him a pretty little chick got dimples, three dimples on each chin, and she got three little dimpled children, and the next little dimple on da way, and dere's a real swingin' cat around there, and it's a happy time, looks like seventeen carnivals takin' off. An' Scrooge look at dis chick and say, "I remember dat chick. I could 'a married her once."

"Yeah, you coulda if you wasn't so tight wid your purse. You all was thinkin' about yourself, dat's what happened." Say, "Let me hip you further, Mister Scrooge, Let me tell you one thing: you better get everything straight that you wanna and you better straighten up."

"An' take me home."

"Yeah, I will."

Brrrrm Boom

And he's home again.

"So man, that was a shaker. This whole thing, this whole thing is shakin' me up pretty bad." He say, "I want to tell you right now . . . "

Boom!

Here comes another big spook. Ooooohhhh He's a wild lookin' spook. He's a crazy lookin' spook. He's a far-out spook, he's a gas-light spook. He's got a gas light right on the top of his wig goin' around like one of them pilot lights in a light house and he's there gassin' up the whole scene.

He say "Come with me. I'm The Ghost of Christmas Present"

And Scrooge look around and sees the joint is loaded with apples and bananas and oranges and, and credalies and acralonchs and ripalips all kinds of crazy wild grapes and crazy Chistmas scenes and nuts and candy.

And he say, "Come wid me."

Brrrrrttt. Done took off again.

He said "I am The Ghost of Christmas Present." He say, "I'm gonna show you what's goin' on in dis world and how to dig Christmas and how to all enjoy."

And he took him up to a little old outcast. And there sittin on a small beat-up rock was two studs chompin' up on a can 'a beans singin', "Merry Christmas widch you, Merry Christmas widch you. Merry Christmas to the whole world" And so on and so forth.

And he showin' him the people jumpin' for joy, see how the cats that ain't got nothin' got somethin' anyway, and they're all jumpin' for joy singin' "Merry Christmas," and da bells is ringin'. Now you get yourself straight and see how things is ....

So they fly over da Cratchit's place, there little old Tiny Tim, He's sittin' over in the corner crochetin' a little crazy scene, fiddlin' around, ya know what I mean? An carryin' on, see, and they are all talkin' about this here goose, and dey look down here and this little goose about the size of a beat up retarded sparrow, and everybody's ooohin' and aahhhin' all over dis goose, and day sayin' when are we gonna spread it, and Tiny Tim say, "God bless everyone, and even up to and including Scroogy Scrooge. God bless everyone!" That's what Tiny Tim say.

And old Scrooge got red-eyed.

Brrrrt .

Took 'im back again. Sound like the whole side 'a the buildin' open up and in come a long angular spook seventeen gas lights and stove pipes hung together with jingle jangle bells all over Scrooge takes a look at this cat, Says, "Do I have to go with you?"

He says, "You certainly do, 'cause I'm The Ghost of Christmas Future."

He say, "Come wid me."

Say, "Where we goin'?"

"None 'o your business!"

He takes old Scrooge they cut off flyin' around the moonlight is shinin' down. Booom!

They're in the grave-yard. Oooh a wild OOOOoooohhhh crazy spooky graveyard and Scrooge is walkin' around and finally something stepped out at him like he was struck with the force of his eye lids, some sort of an electronic pitchfork, and he reads on one of them billboards in that grave-yard, it say, "Dis is Scrooge, the baddest cat that ever lived. He don't have nothin' he ain't got nothin' and he ain't got nothin now."

Period.

And Scrooge looked at it and . . . They're going to another place, and there's a cat say "You goin' to the funeral?" and he say, "Not me, man, I wouldn't go near that cat, dead or alive. They couldn't pay me to get near that cat." Say, "What cat is that?" And suddenly Scrooge is takin' in the coffin factory and seeing all these coffins layin' around, and see one coffin, all the rest of 'em got flowers around 'n 'dis poor little coffin got nothin on it but just some pinewood boards an' old Scrooge look up and over and he's lookin' at this and that and look all away 'cause he knows who is in dat coffin.

Zooooommmm.

He's swings on back again and the ghost puts him down and old Scrooge is shakin' and shiverin' and he finally falls into a real wild, crazy miser's coma. And he falls out for how long he don't know when and he wakes up and Mornin'!

Aaaaahh, the sun was shinin' on the glorious snow and old Scrooge is feelin' so groovey 'n so wired and he tip tip tip tip tip toes over to the window. He open the window, see a little cat, he say, "Hey, boy."

"Yes, sir."

"You know that great big giant king-size bird down in Doodley's window?"

"You mean the prize bird?"

"No," he say, "I mean that great big king-size bird." "Go get that bird. Here's a twenty."

He knocks a twenty on him. "Go get dat bird. And here's ten more for a cab, an here's five dollar for your sister, and here's twenty-two-fifty for your uncle's new bicycle. Tell anyone who wants anything, 'See Scrooge.' I'm flyin' this here Christmas. I want to see Cratchit swing out with a great big swingin' happy dinner. I'm wid it all da way!"

An' old Scrooge get dressed and he's walkin' down the street, and Ding Dong, Ding Dong Ding, the bells is ringin'. Scrooge got a big smile on his face, and people he's seen for twenty years never said hello,sayin' "Good morning, Mr. Scrooge."

"What you say, Baby?"

An' he carryin' on, carryin' on, happy as the day is long.

And he finally fell into old Bob Cratchit's place and he's got Christmas toys and Christmas joys and Christmas presents for everybody. And they'd just opened the goose, and then little Tiny Tim see him comin', he say, "God bless Mr. Scrooge. He done did the turn about. He's the Lord's boy today."

And that's the story of Scrooge. You can get wid it if you want to. There's only one way straight to the Road of Love.
---o0o---

Quotes of the day from Ashleigh Brilliant

“Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules”

"By accepting you as you are, I do not necessarily abandon all hope of your improving”

“I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.”

“It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.”


Ashleigh Brilliant
---o0o---

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Would we elect a bald President; a fat President; a homely President; a short President. . .?

The answer is yes. There is continuing debate and speculation, however, about whether we could, or would, elect an African-American President (Obama), a female President (Hillary Clinton), or a Mormon President (Mitt Romney). I don't think we know yet whether Mormons, women, or African-Americans are electable. I do know there are other categories and characteristics that may not be electable either. We've never had a President who was a dwarf, or who had a cleft palate, or was missing an arm or leg. When Steve Forbes ran for President, I postulated that he could never be elected because he was just too spooky looking. My friends just figured it was more Jack crazy talk. You saw how far Forbes got--even with what I thought was an appealing flat-tax plan.



Also-rans Michael Dukakis, Thomas Dewey, Alf Landon, and Teddy Roosevelt (who won once and was whupped once), were all 5' 8". On the other hand, winners Taylor, Harrison, Polk and Grant were all 5'8". McKinley, John Adams, Benjamin Harrison, Van Buren, and John Quincy Adams all won, even though they were 5'6" or 5'7". James Madison, at 5'4" was our shortest President. Jimmy Carter and Harry Truman, at 5'9" are the shortest Presidents after Teddy Roosevelt (who was elected in 1904!).



We know, then, that you can be elected if you are short--although we seem to be trending away from that. Bald, however? Women almost always retain their juvenile hairline through their entire lives, while 95% of Caucasian men develop a mature hairline. But Presidential hairlines don't seem to match up with that 95%.

We've had five bald and balding Presidents: John Adams and his son, John Quincy Adams -- both one-termers (and remember, from the previous paragraph, both were short). Martin Van Buren was seriously balding (and also was a one-term President). James A. Garfield was so bald they shot him. After the death of Garfield, it took 72 years to elect another bald President: Ike. Ike whupped Adlai Stevenson twice. Adlai was even balder than Ike (which, really, is just barely possible). Next up and the final bald President: Gerald Ford, the accidental president. He was never actually elected, and lost when he did run.

Out of two hundred some years of the U.S. Presidency, we've only had 23 years of bald leadership. This does not look so good for Joe Biden's Presidential bid.

The portliest President? William Howard Taft tipped the scales at 352.

A President who never married? James Buchanan.

Dan Murphy claims in an article on the presidents that Richard Nixon and LBJ were the ugliest Presidents: "Johnson hideousness was almost as bad as his Vietnam War policy. Nixon lost the 1960 presidential election because he was an ugly bastard."



The dumbest President? We'll never know for sure. An internet hoax, a few years ago allegedly listed the IQs of the last 12 U.S. Presidents. The study was done by The Lovenstein Institute (a think tank that doesn't actually exist). Bill Clinton topped the list with an IQ of 182. Jimmy Carter was second. Nixon was the highest ranked Republican at fourth. George Bush was listed at number 11 and George W. Bush was listed 12th with the lowest IQ...the dumbest President.

The Daily Kos quotes statistics from a study that originally appeared in Political Psychology.

"Whoa. This ought to be good.

Here are your top nine smmmmartest Presidents:

1. John Quincy Adams, IQ 175 (yipe)
2. Thomas Jefferson, 160
3. John F. Kennedy, 159.8
4. Bill Clinton, 159
5. Jimmy Carter, 156.8
6. Woodrow Wilson, 155.2
7. Theodore Roosevelt, 153
8. Chester A. Arthur, 152.3 (no flippin' way)
9. Abraham Lincoln, 150

And here's the bottom of the barrel:

41. George W. Bush, 138.5
42. Ulysses S. Grant, 130

Okay, so 138.5 is no dummy, and I've never thought Bush is actually a DUMB guy. He's just dumb compared to all the other Presidents, that's all. "

---o0o---

Friday, December 22, 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Althea's Spontaneous Poem On How To Live The Life Of A Real Diva

My niece Althea came out with this a couple of days ago when my daughter Claire was babysitting. Claire naturally began to write it down. This poem would be even funnier if you actually knew her parents. I don't where this all came from, but I guess she has been impressed with the recent limo antics and lack of apparel of those slightly older divas, Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears, and Lindsay Lohan!


Althea's Spontaneous Poem
On How To Live The Life
Of A Real Diva

Limo, ferry, kitten.
I want a driver
For my limo
So I will be so rich
And I can
Put my brothers
in jail.

I asked for a picture
Of my parents.

I want a black limo.
I want my driver
To be pretty, not ugly.

And if they are ugly,
I'll get my Mom, Dad,
Haley, Paloma or McKenzie
To drive it.
---o0o---

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Running on empty—Send in the clowns—Announced, probable, and possible candidates for President of the United States





Democrat

Senator Hillary Clinton
Ex Vice-President and Senator Albert Gore
Sen. Barack Hussein Obama
Ex-Senator John Edwards
Senator Evan Bayh (dropped out now)
Senator Joe Biden, Delaware
Senator John Kerry




Gov. Bill Richardson

Gov. Tom Vilsack (Iowa)
Senator Christopher Dodd, Ct.
Ex-General Wesley Clark

Ex-Governor Mark Warner, VA


Republican

Governor Mike Huckabee, Ark.
Governor George Pataki, NY

Ex-Senator George Allen
(presumably not running now)
Ex-Senator Rick Santorum (presumably now out of it)
Governor Mitt Romney
Ex-Governor Rudy Giuliani
Senator John McCain
Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan
Sen. Chuck Hagel, a Nebraska Republican
Ex-Speaker Newt Gingrich

The Dingbat Party


Congressman and Ex-mayor Dennis J. Kucinich
"Crusader" Ralph J. Nader (a/k/a The man who helped G.W. Bush win)

---o0o---








Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Eight Years Ago Today, President Bill Clinton Was Impeached In The House Of Representatives


....click montage to enlarge....

Eight years ago, after 14 hours of debate, the House of Representatives voted two articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton (the prosecutor submitted 11 charges), charging him with a) lying under oath to a federal grand jury and b) obstructing justice.

The second president in American history was impeached and Clinton vowed to finish his term.

In November 1995, Clinton began a tawdry affair with Monica Lewinsky, a 21-year-old intern. She was later transferred to the Pentagon where she confided in a co-worker, Linda Tripp, about her affair. Tripp secretly taped Lewinsky, and contacted special prosecutor Kenneth Starr. A few days later, the story broke, with Clinton saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman..." In July, lawyers for Lewinsky and Starr worked out a full-immunity agreement covering Lewinsky and her parents. On August 6, Lewinsky appeared before a grand jury to testify, followed later in the month by The President. The President was impeached in The House.

Many months later, the Senate acquitted POTUS on both articles of impeachment.
---o0o---

Monday, December 18, 2006

Alien Lore No. 92 - A Race Of Aliens Asks "Got Milk?"



A race of aliens from Brittleactica, "a distant planet," who worship and crave the White Wonder Tonic, Milk. . .have made recent transmissions that were monitored and acquired by the Weekly World News.



Now that I know of the plight of the Brittleacticans, I understand all the problems with cattle, eh? Find out more by going to the Planet In Need website. . .it's a very well done flash site, with a humorous take on alien visitors. . .


---o0o---

B.B. King & Stanislaw Jerzy Lec: Quotes of the day



B.B. King:

"Nobody loves me but my mother—and she could be jivin' too."




Stanislaw Jerzy Lec:

"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
---o0o---

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Poem: My Final Snowflake - The Final (I really mean it this time) Donald Rumsfeld Poem


click montage to enlarge...

This will really be my final Donald Rumsfeld poem. I thought A Broken Bone was the last, but Rummy came out with one more nugget before heading out. Yesterday, The Secretary rode off into the sunset, leaving behind a memo to his staff at the D.O.D.

For my part, I'll miss having him to kick around. And most of all I will miss his twisted locutions, loopy metaphors, and his facility with abstruse obfucation.

Good luck, Mr. Secretary! You may have sucked at your job, but you provided a rich and sustaining blast of entertainment for those of us who follow that sort of thing.

Selections of Rumsfeld poems on All This Is That:

Five new poems by Rumsfeld
Poem: Clarity By Donald Rumsfeld
Rumsfeld Poem No. 5
Donald Rumsfeld Poem: Not A One
Poem: Those Glass Boxes By Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
The Poetry Of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Part 3::::::That's Life
The Poetry of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld VI:::::Predicting The Future
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld VIII::::::Litany: What I Don't Do
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld IX::::::Accuracy
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld X:::::::::Where Is Osama bin Laden?
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld XI:::::::::Existence, Evidence, Absence
The Poetry of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld XIV::::::::The Unknown
The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld XIII: It hasn't happened
The Digital Revolution (Rumseld poem IV)
Rumsfeld Poems from the Dec., 2005 Briefing

To read one of the dozens of articles here on Rumsfeld--a few of which were even based on facts--search for Rumsfeld in the Blogger box in the upper left hand corner of this window.


My Final Snowflake

by the former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld


This is
My final
Snowflake.

Thousands
Have fallen,
Sometimes

In blizzards and flurries,
Sometimes in cold
And lonely isolation.

Surprising to those
Buried in the deluge,
Many people have never

Received a snowflake.
A few folks
Hoped to run

Out the clock
On outstanding
Snowflakes.

I grant
Amnesty for outstanding
Snowflakes.

The blizzard is over!
---o0o---

Painting: The First Flank Of The Invasion From Planet 32-Q7


click the painting to enlarge
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Saturday, December 16, 2006

A Salute To Finland


Many more visitors from Finland and Denmark arrived at All This Is That today. . .

Did you know that Transparency International has ranked Finland the world's least corrupt country for the fifth time in a decade?
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The F*** Iraq! Video

Click onto this embedded video to see American soldiers helping Iraqi children with English lessons. Just another step on the road to victory, winning their hearts and minds?


"In fighting this war, we're taking every precaution to protect innocent life. We're showing respect for the Iraqi people, respect for their culture..."

Defend America News, the U.S. Department of Defense


[ed. note: you may need to click the play button twice to see the video.]


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Friday, December 15, 2006

The Most Interesting Link Here Today. . .

. . .comes from Finland, from the Jalka käytävällä blog. Most of the visitors are from Helsinki, but many others have arrived from Hkansker, Karjaa, Uusikaupunki, Keuruu, Espoo, and other towns, as well as dozens from Denmark.
_____________________________


Jalka käytävällä
pni • 15.12 2006, 10.47


Tästä kuvasta muistui mieleeni se miten valokuvauksen ollessa vielä ihan lapsenkengissään, ulkona otetuissa kuvissa kadut näyttivät tyhjiltä. Ei ihmisiä, hevosia tai muutakaan liikkuvaa. Ei elämää, vain rakennuksia ja puita. Syynähän oli tietenkin pitkä valotusaika. Hitaastikin liikkuvat kohteet (tummat hahmot vaalealla taustalla) katoavat näkyvistä kun kuvaa valottaa useampien, jopa kymmenien, minuuttien ajan.

Ensimmäisenä ihmisenä katuvalokuvaan on tarttunut heppu joka oli pysähtynyt kengänkiillotukseen kadunkulmassa eräänä päivänä Pariisissa vuonna 1838 (plus miinus vuosi, riippuen lähteestä), juuri kun Daguerre valotti kuvaansa, joka tunnetaan nimellä Boulevard du Temple (katso suurennos täältä).

— en synpunkt —
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Photo: The Knitting Club Gets A Little Out Of Hand



click photograph to enlarge
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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Poem: Changes 24/The Turning Point (for S.A.D.)



1.
The time of darkness peaks.
Winter solstice brings a victory of light,
Going out and coming in. On time every time.

We all need somewhere to go.
After a time of decay comes the turning point
When the banished light returns

At its appointed time,
Like the San Juan Capistrano swallows.
Turn turn turn turn.

Thunder within the earth
Is the turning point:
The unwobbling pivot.

The old kings
Closed the passes
At the time of solstice.

Merchants and strangers
Did not go out
And the King did not travel.

2.
Day by day, then, the sun returns
Like the return of understanding
After an estrangement.

In the midst of others,
You walk alone.
In the middle of the road

In the middle of the night
You tread the earth with no regrets
Because this is as good as it gets

And it gets this good
At your command.
Selah.
---o0o---

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Iraq News: 1) Dems Intel Head Flubs The Quiz; 2) Iraqis Line Up For Saddam Hangman Job; 3) President Bush's Numbers Sink Ever Deeper Into The 'Loo

You have three weeks to get up to speed Silvestre - Rep. Silvestre Reyes of Texas, incoming Speaker Nancy Pelosi's choice to head the House Intelligence Committee pooched a quiz that most of you could have passed. In an interview with Congressional Quarterly, Reyes flunked a test on some extremely basic questions about al Qaeda and Hezbollah (the two terrorist organizations we have focused on since 9/11).

When asked by National Security Editor Jeff Stein whether al Qaeda is one or the other of the two major branches of Islam -- Sunni or Shiite -- Reyes answered "they are probably both," then ventured "Predominantly -- probably Shiite." al Qaeda was actually founded by Osama bin Laden. They consider the Shia infidels. Reyes could also not cogently answer Stein's question on Hezbollah, the Shiite splinter group in Lebanon. He didn't quite know who they were. Read the story on CNN. In a followup on CNN: "Rep. Silvestre Reyes, the Texas Democrat tapped to head the House Intelligence Committee, said Monday that despite failing to answer basic questions about al Qaeda's makeup, he is aware of the threat the terrorist group poses."

The Necktie Transfer - Saddam's death sentence may be under appeal, but hundreds of Iraqis are volunteering to be the person who springs the trap door at his upcoming execution. Click here to read The New York Times story.

The President's Polling Numbers Continue their Descent Into The 'Loo - President Bush's job ratings continue their plunge into the basement. According to Pollingreport.com, the President's latest numbers are grim:

Source-date-% approval-%disapproval:

CBS 12/8-10/06 31 63
USA Today/Gallup 12/8-10/06 38 59
Newsweek 12/6-7/06 32 60
CNN 12/5-7/06 37 57
FOX/Opinion Dynamics 12/5-6/06 38 54
AP-Ipsos 12/4-6/06 33 64
WNBC/Marist RV 11/27 - 12/3/06 37 56
CNN 11/17-19/06 38 59
Quinnipiac RV 11/13-19/06 35 58
AP-Ipsos 11/13-15/06 36 62
CBS 11/12-13/06 34 61
Pew 11/9-12/06 32 58
USA Today/Gallup 11/9-12/06 33 62

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Revelation: President Now Suffers Enuresis--More Trouble Every Day

President Bush is suffering a relapse of enuresis after having been cured approximately forty years ago.

The bed wetting began intermittently around the time of the Scooter Libby troubles. By early November, and the firing of Secretary Rumsfeld, the devasting mid-term elections, and reports the situation in Iraq has become untenable, the enuresis became chronic and acute.

A mistress of Governor Jeb Bush, Heather Hunt, revealed the news in a phone call to Phil Ronson at the All This Is That National Affairs Desk in Washington, D.C. The closely held secret has been kept tightly under wraps since the President's relapse. According to Ms. Hunt, Laura Bush has assumed the task of laundering the first family's linens. Ms. Hunt could not state whether or not the President was undergoing medical treatment for the disorder.


Photograph of The President Around The
Time Of His First Enuresis Cure

Ms. Hunt further stated that the President was a late-adolescent bed wetter until approximately age 19, when his parents flew him to Switzerland for extensive psychiatric and medical treatment, prior to his matriculation into Yale.
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