Holy S**t! The October surprise? It Depends®

By Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs editor
Washington, D.C. 9-18-2008 12:15 AM EDT

No one quite expected this October surprise, if it comes to that. All This Is That received a tip over the weekend from a G.O.P. insider that John McCain is incontinent and wears adult diapers around the clock.

I jumped onto the story Sunday, after Jack Brummet called from the All This Is That offices. The first call I made was to sources in the Democratic Party. Interestingly, they wouldn't touch the story. The first two people I called told me to drop it. "Pablo, this story is going nowhere. This is just some crap a blogger cooked up in San Francisco."

My next call was to a Democrat I knew would never lie. She may not tell me the truth, but she would never lie about the facts. "Look, just drop it," she said. "We can't even come within 50 miles of this story. Yeah. I've heard some stuff. But there is no way we're going to touch this story. We have nothing to gain and everything to lose. If it comes out, fine. But no way is it coming out of here."



"How so?," I asked? "Look, Pablo. . .the second this story comes out, the McCain campaign will tie it to the P.O.W. years. This malady, this incontinence, will be attributed to his years in the prison camp. It will become a net positive—another hero's scars—and we will be skewered for playing the politics of personal destruction. And the McCain campaign will milk the P.O.W. angle for another month. I did hear some Dem P.A.C. has been working this, and they have photographic evidence, and someone willing to talk."

I called a Republican friend who works for the R.N.C. "How high are you, Pablo? The Democrats are putting their heads in the sand on this one. They'll bide their time in hopes the story emerges elsewhere. They're way more spooked than we are on this one." "But why has nothing been mentioned in the press? Or the blogs and websites, even?" I asked. "You thought the John Edwards story was bottled up? No one wants to make the first move! Yuk."

The story slowly percolates, and it may be only a matter of time before it hits the mainstream media. There are rumors at least one tabloid has enough evidence—flimsy and otherwise—to break the story in the next week.
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