Thursday, March 31, 2011

All This Is That finds nude TSA scans of George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Michele Bachmann, Glee's Dianna Agron, and Jessica Alba, on the internet

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor 
and Mona Goldwater, Gen X Desk

To no one's real surprise, an underground market for body scan images taken by the TSA has popped up.  In fact, the All This Is That editors were able to purchase explicit, nude "backscatter" images of George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann, Glee's Dianna Agron and Jessica Alba, among others.  We purchased these images 50 minutes after we began searching--from an underground, but fairly easily found website, with a room labelled "TSA's Hottest And Greatest Hits."   Jack hooked us up with an email  reference and we were in. 

Jack Brummet, our arts, paranormal, and animal husbandry editor, began this story with a sonic boom and then bugged out.  He was off the story (with a bogus excuse about needing to focus on blah blah blah),  handed it off  to us and hooked us up with his contact in TSA management, who--surprise!--denied everything.  You could tell he was lying because he really sucked at it.  Jack's contact (a guy just below the top exec, level of the TSA) told him the TSA had discovered that employees were trading high quality TSA screening scans--digitally enhanced photos of celebrities and of "hot" men and women, often in categories like "grotesque" "hot jailbait" "long dong silvers" "great racks" or "belugas."  Not long before TSA security swept in, the images began appearing online, and finally, for sale online.

The TSA and other government agencies often tout the quality of "Advanced Imaging Technology" like the Gen 2 millimeter wave scanner from Brijot Imaging Systems, Inc., while assuring customers that their operators "cannot store, print, transmit or save the image, and the image."

what you see in a digitally reversed backscatter body scan

Gizmodo busted them on that set of lies, by requesting (under the Freedom Of Information Act) 100 scans from among the 35,000 federal agents had saved on the scanner that "cannot store. . .or save the image."  The images Gizmodo released were less explicit images from the older scanning technology, not the new "backscatter" X-ray technology.  The backscatter images leave nothing to the imagination, which is how the trading and then black market for the celebrity and other images emerged. 

The TSA, natch, posits that the leaked photos on Gizmodo were fakes.  The TSA announced on their blog that the images they look at (but do not save!) look like this (click here to visit the TSA blog):

what the TSA claims you see in a body scan

Amateur video of The Band's Don't Do It

This is obviously film (it's 1971), but feels like it was shot by an amateur. On the other hand the sound is great, which argues against an amateur. Anyhow, The Band's cover of a great old Motown tune (not so old back then). It's always amazing seeing Levon drumming like crazy as he sings   .On second thought, I bet they sync'd the music from the Rock of Ages live album, which came from those shows. BTW, the great Alan Toussaint arranged the horns for these shows. . .

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Carla Bruni, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama Measure Up

A Note From Mona Goldwater, Women's Editor

Jeff Clinton sent us this interesting image.  Exactly what are French First Lady Carla Bruni, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and US First Lady Michelle Obama measuring?

click to enlarge

Tea-Party/GOP Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann channels President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

By Mona Goldwater
Tea Party Correspondent

Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann seems to have taken a page from the playbook of Idiocracy's President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.  Who knows?  It just might work.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Jack Brummet drawing - Faces No. 193: The Steering Committee

click to enlarge

Teething on my Grandpa Dell's hook arm, 1954

Yes, I did teethe on my Grandfather Dell Galvin's hook arm. Dell was my maternal Grandmother's third, and final husband.

This was a different world--my Uncle Guy had a wooden leg, and I don't think anyone over about 38 on either side of my family had their original teeth. . .body parts, joints and giblets were not easy to come by for poor folk (nor are they now).


Sunday, March 27, 2011

Poem by Jack Brummet: Water

by Jack Brummet

Water, in perpetual motion,
Drifts into the troposphere,
Accumulates, and returns to earth
To join ice, rain, and snow
In the hills and mountains,
Rolling into aquifers and underground lakes,
Chasms, fissures, streams,
Valleys, craters, hollows,
Creeks, rivers, lakes, and oceans.
Water, the only thing on earth
That never gets old.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Photograph of Ronald Reagan in a compromising position, from Paul Krassner's The Realist

A photo and perfect caption from Paul Krassner's "The Realist," a great, satiric, scandalous, and hilarious magazine from the 60's and 70's.  [ed's note: Krassner was a hilarious, incisive, paranoid, and savagely satirical writer and prankster. His magazine appeared in the 60's and early 70's, and was later revived sporadically, eventually finally kicking the bucket in 2001]

click to enlarge

Thursday, March 24, 2011

End times edge closer: the Tea Party's Michele Bachmann forms "exploratory committee"

By Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor
Illustration by Jack Brummet

Representative Michele Bachmann, is currently spending a week tromping around Iowa, which will hold the first caucuses of the 2012 Presidential race.   Her team just leaked to CNN that said Bachmann will form an exploratory committee in June.  She also named an Iowa state senator-- Kent Sorenson--as her political director in the early caucus state.

She recently told ABC's Jonathan Karl that "I'm in for 2012 in that I want to be a part of the conversation in making sure that President Obama only serves one term, not two, because I want to make sure that we get someone who's going to be making the country work again. That's what I'm in for. But I haven't made a decision yet to announce, obviously, if I'm a candidate or not..."

Alien Lore No. 196: The Nation of Islam and UFOs

By Jack Brummet, Paranormal Editor, and
Mona Goldwater, Society Editor

A few weeks ago,  the Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan delivered his annual Saviours' Day speech in Rosemont, Illinois.  In the speech, Farrakhan vowed that he would force the U.S. government to open all UFO files (ed's note: not unlike the governments of France and Russia have recently done). 

As it turns out, UFOs are a central tenet in the teachings of the Nation of Islam.  The NOI is a 50,000 person church based in America (as opposed to the Islam Religion, with almost two billion members).

An early NOI leader--Elijah Muhammad--told The Nation of a gigantic Earth-orbiting "Mother Plane" equipped with many weapons.  According to an article on AOL News, "seeking the divine in the skies is one of the core beliefs of NOI leaders and followers, which explains why so much of their literature tells of UFOs, or what they prefer to call airborne 'wheels.'"

The bummer for me, and the readers of our Alien Lore series is that it is not Greys, or aliens flying these saucers around.  The Nation of Islam teachings say the circular spacecraft were built by humans on Earth, many centuries ago, under the guidance of God. 

NOI teachings claim that the original "wheel" was built by scientists on the islands of what is now Japan, "at a cost of $15 billion in gold."  The story also says that "these original UFOs were used to create mountains on Earth."

Naturally, this is tied into Ezekiel's Wheel (ed's note: remember the song..."Ezekiel saw a wheel/Way up/In The middle of the air?").  The encounter in The Bible of the prophet Ezekiel with a wheel-like UFO, is central to the Nation of Islam religion.

Farrakhan told the group in Chicago that "Many have died or have been killed to keep from sharing what they have seen."  Does this sound familiar to any Alien Lore fans?  If you dig into nearly any Alien Lore story, eventually it comes down to conspiracy and cover-ups.

In his Saviour's Day speech the year before, Farrakhan said that in 1985 he himself had been taken aboard the craft.  And, when he was on the flaying saucer, he heard Elijah Muhammad speak to him.

The gathering in Illinois included a group of international UFOligists.  "They have in us allies. They have in us their protectors. They have in us those that will help them to gain the finance to keep up their research."

"Since the founding of the Nation of Islam, these wheel-like objects have been taught to us of their existence and their function," said Ishmael Muhammad, one of Elijah Muhammad's sons.

"The founder of the Nation of Islam, Fard Muhammad, taught us about these objects that the world calls UFOs, and he gave us great details as to the materials that they were constructed of and that most of these objects come from this planet Earth," Ishmael Muhammad told AOL News.

"He also taught us of the existence of life on other planets, as well as a highly advanced civilization on the planet Mars. He taught us about the Mother Plane (UFO) and gave us the dimensions that it was a half mile by a half mile, human-made planet, one mile in height, and that this Mother Plane carried 1,500 smaller planes."

He went on to claim that the FBI and other feds have, in their various raids, confiscated much of the evidence the NOI had collected over the years.   One of the UFOlogists at the conference said "The entire discussion [with Farrakhan] was about UFOs, and it didn't deviate. He [Farrakhan] kept talking about how heroic and brave we were in the face of worldwide skepticism and the media so often treating this at such a high level of ridicule. I was pleasantly surprised when he offered both emotional and financial support for our work, and he came across as very humble in our presence."

Ishmael Muhammad, Nation of Islam's national assistant minister, spoke to AOL News about NOI's fascination with UFOs and their fervent hope that they will somehow unite all the religions of Earth."

"I believe that the recent release of UFO documents by the British government is very significant, along with other countries that have released their own," Ishmael Muhammad added.  "I think it says that they know that contact is imminent."

Wednesday, March 23, 2011 is back!

After a hiatus of about two years, the website is back.  Merlin Mann has a sweet web site with many lists of five. I like lists. Some of my favorites from his earlier run:

Five actors I prefer not to visualize having intercourse
Broderick Crawford
Rondo Hatton
Richard Dawson
Paul Lynde
Curly Joe DeRita

Five people with whom to never start a conversation on MUNI
Needy-looking guy in kilt
Fat man with enormous parrot on his shoulder
Chinese lady quietly trimming her toenails
Stinky guy talking animatedly to fat guy’s parrot
Smirky guy taking numerous phonecam pictures of stinky guy, fat guy, and parrot

Five congressional terms that sound kind of dirty
Minority Whip
discretionary appropriations
discharge petition
franking privileges

Five total scams in high school
class rings
cap and gown fees
Who’s Who Among American High School Students
assemblies featuring christian rock bands

Five things it’s probably better not to do when you’re kind of drunk
buy domain names
hire an attorney
do lots of file management from the command line
sort out your finances
telephone people you remember fondly from elementary school

Five things it would probably be disingenuous for me to rap about
the streets
my bitches
thug life
popping a cap in your ass
my milkshake

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The finger, the wanker, the cuckoo sign, the shocker, rock horns, the shaka sign, and more (ATIT greatest hits)

By Mona Goldwater & Pablo Fanque

This article first appeared on All This Is That in 2006.  According to Google, it is one of our "greatest hits."  Every few weeks, we try to print a blast from the past. Having just discovered the great photo of Josef Stalin thumbing his noce at his bodyguard, we decided to update the article and include him.

The finger, the wanker, the cuckoo sign, the shocker, rock horns, the shaka sign, and more

by Jack Brummet, Social Mores Editor

Click to enlarge. Vice-President Rockefeller gives the finger to a
group of hecklers.

The finger - (e.g., "giving" someone the finger), is an extremely popular hand gesture made by extending the middle finger of the hand while bending the other fingers at the second knuckle. It's can perhaps be a softer way of saying "f*** you". In other countries, the OK sign means the same thing. President Bush can be seen in the montage below, performing the gesture. The finger can be extremely hostile, or, among friends, it can just be another way of saying "yeah, right."

This variant was sent by Mark Yeend, who called it the "fake flip off"

The Bent Elbow is a theatrical, Italian version of The Finger, and is sometimes combined with the finger. In Italian it is known as the gesto dell'ombrello, meaning "the umbrella gesture." It is typically used two ways: 1) to answer "no way!" in an extremely emphatic (and quite vulgar) way, and 2) after a triumph against some unfair enemy, with a sense of revenge.

The Sssshhh sign... (Thanks to Mark Yeend)

The Fig sign - The sign of the fig is a highly insulting hand gesture used, so far as I know, only in Italy (perhaps in other places, too.) It is made by making a fist, with the thumb inserted between the index and middle fingers. The gesture allegedly represents the female genitalia, although I really don't see the resemblance. . .

The cuckoo sign. A hard sign to illustrate, because it is active. It is used to indicate a person in the room is unbalanced. Kids sometimes use it in a sort of rebus: You (pointing toward a person) + drive (gesture showing two hands moving a steering wheel) + me (point toward self) + crazy (the cuckoo sign). Normally, the gesture is made by pointing your index finger at your head and tracing circles with the finger. It's a little bit old school, and you don't see it much anymore.

The beckoning sign. Another active sign. The "come here" gesture. You hold your fist clenched. The finger moves repeatedly towards the gesturer (in a hook) as to draw something closer. It is normally seen as condescending because it is a command. It is sometimes performed with the four fingers, or the entire hand.

The blah blah sign /the yak yak gesture. The fingers are kept straight and together in a horizontal fashion while the thumb is held out straight. The fingers and thumb then snap together repeatedly to suggest a mouth talking. Sort of like a duck's mouth. It is used to indicate that a person is pointlessly flapping their gums.

The time out sign. Used in sporting events, and sometimes in normal conversation. In conversation it can mean "let's take a break," "please quite talking about this," or "stop arguing."

The benediction sign. Used by pontiffs and emperors (and, I think, Priests) as a blessing sign. Click on this link to see the Benediction gesture, on a coin of Emperor Constantine.

Crossed fingers - Crossing the first two fingers is a good luck sign around the world, mainly, however, in Christian countries. One theory posits that when Christianity was illegal, the crossing of fingers was a secret sign for Christians to recognise each other. The gesture sometimes is used to negate something spoken (if you tell someone "you look fabulous" with your fingers crossed, you were probably not telling the truth).

Rock horns/hook 'em horns/devil horns

The OK sign________________________________________________

The shaka sign is the "hang loose" gesture. It is similar to American Sign Language letter "Y", where a fist is also made with only the thumb and pinky extended. The sign is often followed by waving as a greeting or acknowledgement--"thanks for letting me on the freeway!"________________________________________________

Call me. These days it might be a gesture you make to someone across the floor of a nightclub.

Thumbs up

Thumbs down - We think--from watching all those Cecil B. DeMille style sand and sandals epics--that the thumbs down gesture means "kill him!" In fact, scholars just aren't sure whether the gesture means kill him, or spare him...thumbs down meaning, "no, spare him," and thumbs up meaning "yes, kill him!"

The stop gesture - In the U.S., this is the stop gesture. In Greece, however, it has a slightly different meaning: "I rub feces in your face!"

The Vulcan salute ("live long and prosper").


The wanker sign. . .I probably don't need to explain this one.

Biting the thumb at anyone was once a mark of contempt, usually designed to provoke a quarrel. . .it also means to defy. ``Do you bite your thumb at us?'' -Wm. Shakespeare

The choke sign - The gesture refers to someone or something "choking" in the sense of failing under pressure. It generally refers to someone involved in an athletic event, although I have heard it used in the business world too.

The cutthroat sign is usually used for one of two things: to warn someone to quit talking or suffer the consequences. Or to say "He's a dead man."

The Bang Bang, or, gun sign

nose thumbing/queen anne's fan - This is a mild mocking gesture.  Here are some prime examples from both Karl V. Rove and Josef Stalin. . .


The shocker - A sexually-charged, gesture in which the ring finger and thumb are curled down, with the other fingers extended. The index and middle fingers touch, and the back of the hand faces away from the gesturer. The gesture refers to the act of inserting the index and middle fingers into a vagina and the pinky finger into the nearby exit aperture (the "shocker"). The shocker is sometimes considered vulgar. Did I just write sometimes? There are dozens of rhyming phrases for this gesture, like "Two in the pink, one in the stink."

The gag me sign - This is the only photo I could find of this gesture. I'm not sure, but the gesture may have originated with "Valley Speak," the idiom of the kids of the San Fernando Valley. I do remember the Valley Speak phrase "gag me with a spoon." I'm sure this gesture was around along before the 80s.

Victory Sign - V for victory. A lot of us remember this as being one of Sir Winston Churchill's signatures. In this photo, President Richard Nixon used the sign at the moment of his greatest disgrace. . .he was leaving Washington D.C., having resigned the Presidency. Moments after this 'chopper took off, Gerald Ford became President and Nixon landed later that day in California, as a civilian.


Let's get high - Tommy Chong in a vidcap from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno demonstrates this gesture.