A great new home improvement tool

This video was sent to me by Senor Dave Hokit. I have no clue as to where it actually originated.

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Let's get Kinky with Bizzare (and other) Magazines

Thanks to Dean Ericksen for pointing out this excellent article on Gawker. Dean reads Gawker so we don't have to! But look at what we miss! Check out their Best of the Bizarre and photo roundup here, on Gawker. In fact, one of the characters on one of the "girly" magazine covers is almost a dead ringer for Dean himself--I wonder if he put him through school The Hard Way?



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Back to California

All of a sudden I am returning to Orange County, California. Despite being a Republican hotbed, I kind of like the place. Certainly the weather, anyway. I barely unpacked my bags from the last trip. The good parts: I can be in the pool by five o'clock if everything goes right, and I am upgraded to first class, where I can swill, stretch out, and watch a movie or read in comfort. I'll just about have enough time to unpack when I return home Wednesday night, to get ready for my trip to England next week.
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Are you a Godly person? Claim your 250,000 Pounds Sterling

Is this my lucky day?

-----Original Message-----

From: Mr. Jennifer Woodward [mailto:mrsjjwodward1958@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2008 4:19 PM
To: Jack Brummet
Subject: Funds willed to you (Please Contact my Bank)

GOOD DAY TO YOU,
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF GOD,

My name is Mrs. Jennifer Woodward. I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you/church. I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who has left me everything he worked for. I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use my husband hard earned funds ungodly.

Please pray that the good Lord forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe He has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation in less than a month and I decided to WILL/donate the sum of £250,000 (Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand British Pounds) to you for the good work of the Lord, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls due to the fact that my relatives are around me and my health status. If you are a Godly person, please contact my Account Officer and he will arrange the transfer of the funds from my account to your preferred account. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and PLEASE use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.

Pls. Contact Account Officer of Halifax bank Plc.

Account Officer; Mr. John Kerry
Halifax BANK PLC
HEAD OFFICE: Halifax Bank Plc. Address, 2170 Coventry Road, Sheldon Birmingham, B26 3JM.
EMAIL: halifaxbnkplc@hotmail.com


CUSTOMER SERVICE:
Tel: +44-704-576-9996
Tel: +44-704-577-0107
Fax: +44-707-570-7718

You are required to contact my Account Officer with the following information below Full Names; Address; Telephone number;

A scanned copy of your International Passport or driver?s license or any valid form of identification if available should be sent along

Mrs. Jennifer Woodward.
CC: Account Officer
John Kerry
Halifax Bank Plc

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The cold rain and snow

All last week, I was in Orange County, California, where it was mostly about 80 degrees. As I arrived home in Seattle, a month into spring, it was snowing. And it snowed all weekend sporadically...never sticking, but snowing every few hours. It even snowed on my way to work this morning. I was driving to the freeway, and there was an inch of snow on the ground and it was hailing and snowing. Traffic was slowing, and it looked like it might take hours to get to work. Three miles later, I was in the sunlight.

As it turns out, I am going back to Orange County tomorrow, where I'll get another blast of heat before returning to who knows what?

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A Blogger Meltdown, mostly of my own authoring?

You may have noticed the sporadic postings (partly due to being in California all week) in the last few days? I completely pooched my blogspot template. It seems partly due to collisions between last year's new blogger switchover and the new beta blogger sandbox. I am still missing a lot of the marginalia and widgets, but I have mostly recovered everything else. Except (!!!) the post date now appears beneath the first post of a day. And it's huge. And ugly. I've deleted all references to it, changed the color to white in the CSS section of the template, attempted to move it above the posy title somehow, and pasted in sections of old templates that I know looked good. All to no avail. I had one problem a couple years ago, where I sent the whole template to blogger and they immediately figured out what I'd done wrong. I have to throw myself on their mercy. I am a bonehead.
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Karate Monkey-- Video of martial art Chimp in action

So Grandma's Boy wasn't that far off. You apparently can teach a monkey karate. Or Tai Kwan Do. Or Judo. Ok, it's not a monkey, it's a chimpanzee. Monkeys have tails.



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Poem: Stackabones

[I started this poem 21 years ago in Berkeley, California, the week before my daughter was born. I finished it tonight, in Irvine, California]


Stackabones

for Claire

"What is it?," you'll ask, and I'll hedge.
Things with no title aren't,

So make a name. Our dreams have no lexicon.
We'll look at wildflowers

In the chapparal and fill the silence
Around the blossoms with a name.

Waiting on you to be,
I try to remember not to forget.

In a dusty corner of my head
I've opened files with Websters of words,

Waiting on you to be.
We'll cover the earth with Venn Diagrams

Of our steps bisecting the old steps.
We'll breach the barricades

And walk circles from here to here.
The wheel itself rolls flat

And you can't slow it down;
With each spin of the ball it grows flatter,

But still rolls up and down the hill.
The list of whom the bucket was kicked by

Grows longer every day
And that bucket fills with tears.

Our job is to stay off that roster.
Back to the story.

God, gets the fire going
As She spins us back into the sun

To warm us up in the morning.
The sun didn't rise today,

But the sun doesn't rise.
The last cricket falls asleep,

And the birds begin their rounds.
Earth rolls over like a dog,

And the light
Floods in.
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Poem: In California, I write down the names of every great tree name I can remember

Cedar, cypress, juniper mulberry, buckeye,
Gingko, hickory, ironwood, magnolia, persimmon,

Paw paw, pussy willow, sassafrass,
Sumac, tupelo, witchhazel, oak,

Alder, crabapple, devilwood, dogwood.
And they call me John.

Who do trees and meeting rooms
Get all the good names?
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Video: Bob Dylan Plays "Like A Rolling Stone" With The Rolling Stones

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Poem: Ephemeral Communication

Native American smoke signals
May be the most transitory
And ephemeral communication of all,

Next to the voice
—A Jiminy Cricket whisper
In your ear—

That transmogrifies instantly
Into memory
While the smoke signal

Takes its own sweet time
And rises in a langorous backstroke
Drifting slowly and inexorably

Toward Heaven,
Achieving evanescence
Somewhere in the troposphere.

[Irvine, California 4/16/2008]
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Shine a light! Martin Scorsese's rolling stones movie

click the stones to enlarge

I am not a huge Rolling Stones fan--I liked them in the 60's/70's, but pretty much lost interest sometime around Some Girls.

This concert film reminded me of why I did like them--they wrote some good tunes, and they always had attitude. We saw the movie at IMax--on the six story screen with fantastic sound. It really made me think about what would have become of the Stones if Brian Jones had lived.

The movie was edited with a lot of rapid cuts--and you rarely if ever saw the whole stage. And, of course, the focus was often on Mick, who is still an amazingly energetic dancer and performer. I think the cuts would probably be more tolerable on a smaller screen. It took a couple of minutes to get used to the jump cuts.

The best moments were where Keith Richards was in the spotlight (he sang two tunes). And the camera would frequently zoom in on him. He seemed to happy to have survived, and I had forgotten what an amiably lovable rascal he is. I will buy this movie just to savor those Keith moments. Jack White, Buddy Guy, and Christine Aguilera also did guest shots. Jack White's was just OK. but Aguilera and Buddy Guy were off the hook. You should go see this film. Even if you're not a fan.

/jack reporting from Orange County, California...


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