Bacon Porn!: hot bacon images

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One grape short: Adolph Hitler was missing a testicle

An account by a German army medic has confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball. War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down, according to The Sun. The priest's written account has surfaced 23 years after Jambor's death.

This seems to confirm an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler's remains made shortly after the war claimed Hitler was lopsided. Most historians dismiss this reference as commie propaganda.

Records DO show Hitler was wounded in the groin in 1916 during the Battle of the Somme.

The Fuhrer's ball has been mocked for years in a British song:

Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is on the kitchen wall,
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Chopped it off when he was small.

She threw it over Germany,
It landed in the deep blue sea,
The fishes got out their dishes,
And had scallops and bollocks for tea.

Frankfurt has only one beer hall,
Stuttgart, die München all on call,
Munich, vee lift our tunich,
To show vee "Cherman" have no balls at all.

Until now there has never been proof Hitler was asymmetrical Down There. The priest wrote that Jambor saw the proof with his own eyes. Johan Jambor's friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed that the medic had saved Hitler’s life in 1916.

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Sir Paul McCartney hints at one last unreleased Beatle's song

An almost unheard, experimental track by The Beatles may finally be released 41 years after it was recorded at Abbey Road studios, said Sir Paul recently.

McCartney, told BBC Radio that "Carnival of Light" was The Beatles at their most free, "going off piste." [Editor's note: I didn't know the phrase off piste but dictionaries and the Wikipedia say it is "skiing in a sparsely inhabited rural region over ungroomed and unmarked slopes or pistes. More importantly, the land and the snow pack are not monitored, patrolled, or maintained. Fixed mechanical means of ascent such as ski lifts are typically not present. Backcountry skiing can be highly dangerous due to the avalanche risk..." ]

If this "tune" is anything like Sir Paul describes it, it will be a rock and roll treasure. Think Revolution No. 9 (a "song" I've always loved, and was stunned when I heard it in in 1968) to the Nth degree.

It sounds tantalizing. Maybe Revolution No. 9 in overdrive, "I said it would be great to put this on because it would show we were working with really avant-garde stuff," McCartney told Radio 4. 's According to the BBC, McCartney had wanted to include the track on The Beatles' Anthology compilations in the mid-1990s, but the rest of the band vetoed the idea. The rest of the band now includes Ringo and George Harrison and John Lennon's lawyers. Good luck with that, Macca!
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Face fun with Pizap

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piZap.com is an image editing site with a really clean U.I. (although neophytes might not get that to discard a change you merely need to drag it offscreen). This transformation took couple of minutes. They did a great job of blending most of the parts...
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Slap my ass and call me Sally!

I bumped into the hilarious phrase "Slap my ass and call me Sally!" the other day. Naturally, I wondered where it originated. . .

The first place I found was the Hot Sauce World web site, where they sell a hot sauce called "Smack My Ass And Call Me Sally...The Slap Heard around the World. One of the top twenty hottest sauces in the world. Don't forget to scratch the hand print on Chet's ass when you get the hot sauce bottle. 5 oz. $7.89."

A similar phrase was used by Australian and US soldiers during World War II: "Cut off my legs and call me Shorty!" Louis Armstrong recorded a song by this title in 1940 that was frequently played on US Armed Forces radio stations.

Google lists 75 hits for a similar phrase: "tie me up and call me Shirley."

"Slap me silly and call me Sally" also appears to be a 2 Live Crew tune. Here is it is in a fan video from YouTube:





The top ten virals web site has this photo, which makes me think someone actually manufactured clothing/undies with the phrase.

There's a band, with a site on MySpace named Slap My Ass And Call Me Sally.

I never did run into any serious analysis of the phrase or its origins on any language analysis, folklore, or slang sites like slangsite.com, or the Urban Dictionary. . .

It is used on hundreds of web sites as an expression, but I couldn't find any real detail. I gave up searching, but figured our readers might be interested in my meager findings in any case. It's not definitive, but, then, what really is?
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Poem: Hazards

1
Sailing upper Puget Sound,
Our rusting ferry threads its way
Among rogue islands scattered

Across the rippled green water,
Passing sudden stone outcroppings
And islands that break the surface by inches.

2
The dark islands are punctuated
By random flares and points of light.
Plumes of grey smoke rise and drift away.

3
Under a half-moon, the islands
Look like Orcas bobbing
In the sound, their lighthouses and beacons

Like Cyclops eyes
Warning us to dodge
A network of shoals

And hazards that boats
Are attracted to by momentum
And dumb luck.
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Nils Lofgren does a somersault playing a guitar solo with Springsteen's E Street Band

In this awesome video clip, Nils Lofrgen does a somersault while playing a guitar solo with Springsteen's E Street Band on tour this summer.
Now, remember, Nils is of my vintage, a spry 57 years old. Not bad, friendo! During his solo years (1974-) Nils would play guitar while doing flips on a trampoline.

Nils was in Grin in the early 70's, played with Neil Young on two of his most important albums (and at various other times since), and ended up in The E Street Band in 1984 with Bruce Springsteen, taking Little Steven's place, Clarence Clemmons, Patti Scialfa, & Max Weinberg, etc. The Boss , of course broke up E Street in 1989. He brought them back together in 1999 and both Steven Van Zandt and Nils were back in the band, as they are today.


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Text warping tools online at Festisite

I used a few lines from a poem I wrote a couple weeks ago...and waved them, circularized them, rebus'd them, and mazed them. . .

http://www.festisite.com/tools/

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All This Is That begins its 5th year today

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All This Is That is four years old today. So, I'm just going to ramble about that.

We've been farked five or six times, which is always fun, because 10,000-15,000 people show up. But the interesting thing about http://fark.com is that their readers are always looking for the next weird story. . .none of them become regulars. Once in a while we are someone's blog of the day, or a blog or website notes a--usually bizarre--post here, and between 30 and 500 people turn up.

Most of our readers Google into here. More than half the traffic on All This Is That comes from Google, Yahoo and other search engines; 40% of the visitors are regular readers. Most of our visitors come from the U.S. and Canada, England, Australia, Turkey, Japan, Germany, Croatia, Brazil, and Ireland, in that order.

Even though it's been four years, I still haven't gotten around to writing some stories I've promised (this year, for sure!). The content here, as you may have noticed, is random, and mostly generated by whatever strikes my fancy on any particular day. For the last year and a half a big focus has been the U.S. Presidential race. Six weeks in the last year were extended travelogues as I documented my travels in Mexico, England, Turkey and Greece. If I actually focused on something, we could generate tons of visitors. But I have never found any particular area I'd like to focus on. I'm not a niche kind of guy, I guess.

We've now hit Alien Lore story Number 145. I have published 150 original poems in the last four years. And we have published hundreds of weird stories. Some articles that come up at the top of a Google search: Looking for Nude Condoleezza Rice Photos?; Matt Bevalaqua, the killer; Enumclaw Horse Sex; The Brady Bunch Porn Movie; Clemenza's Godfather spaghetti sauce; and a few others). Every day dozens to hundreds of people come searching for those. A lot of people come looking for images and photos. Since even the early days, we've always published a lot of photos, paintings, and images. I've seen images I've created appear on dozens of other blogs and websites.

I've never written a word about my work (a/k/a "day job") in all this time. I think I'll keep it that way, even though I love my job, co-workers, and the business we're in...this gets too complicated as it is. . .

I still want to write these stories sometime (all are at least half-done):

My Worst Jobs, Part 6: The Fish: My five years working at Carl Fischer Music

Dad, or, John Newton Brummet II

The Kent Bus Depot (almost done!)

The Hook Arm, the Wooden Leg, False teeth, and Girdles - My people. One more hillbilly tale.

Growing Up Hillbilly (they stopped in Seattle because you'd need a boat to go further)

Growing up Kent: The Liquor Store, The Butcher, and The Barber

My life as an orderly

Well, I'll get around to it sometime. In the meantime, I've am enjoying not writing about politics for a while. Our Alien Lore readership has seriously dwindled with a dearth of content (interestingly, when I publish those stories, readership goes way up, but the regulars click away very quickly).

One in a while, I think about pulling the plug. But then I come to my senses. If a few hundred people a day show up, I must be doing something right. If I publish a book of poems--and I probably will sometime soon--it will sell a few hundred copies. If I publish a poem here, that many people will read it in one day. When I publish in a magazine that's good for my literary career, but, let's face it. . .no one reads 'em!

More soon. . .
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Nils Lofgren plays Back It Up

This is a YouTube slide-show video a/k/a "slideo" of a great Nils Lofgren tune, Back It Up. Nils Lofgren formed a great power pop band, Grin, in the early 1970's. He also played on some early Neil Young albums, and has been a long-time member of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band.


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Festisite: generate your own money

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This might be useful if you decide to start your own country or something.
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Music Video: The Beatles perform Revolution

Revolution

Music and lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're doing what we can
But when you want money
for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
Ah

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
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