Sunday, December 09, 2012

Digital Art: Progress

By Jack Brummet


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Faces No. 339 - in the driver's license photo line

By Jack Brummet


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The Zombie Apocalypse drives gun sales...

By Jack Brummet, 2nd Amendment Editor

Is fear driving the sales of guns?  People reacting to the Batman massacre, or other mass shootings?  As it turns out, folks are just preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse.

 
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Saturday, December 08, 2012

Alien Lore No. 241 - UFO crash in Japan?

By Jack Brummet, Unexplained Phenomena Editor

photo purportedly released by the Japanese Navy



Several web sites and blogs, including In Other Newz, are posting articles on an alleged report on Nippon Television December 5th that “an Unidentified Flying Object, went down off the coast of Okinawa, an island at the southern tip of Japan. Several news crews, along with police and emergency vehicles, rushed to the scene just in time to see the UFO sink into the water, according to multiple sources.”  

“We saw something like a small vessel with a dome slowly submerge into the water as we arrived at the scene,” said Okinawa Prefecture Police Chief Hideki Suzuki. “We clearly saw smoke rising from it as it went down. There was a tremendous amount of steam generated as it disappeared into the depths of the ocean. We anticipate investigating the vessel as soon as we get the equipment we need to raise it from the water.”


The reports also claim that a recovery mission is underway:  "The Japanese Navy has already cordoned off the immediate vicinity of the crash and is preparing to send divers into the water to get a glimpse of the vessel and take photos for salvaging purposes. No doubt, the Navy will be heavily involved in bringing the UFO up from the depths of the ocean."

A photograph "released by the Japanese navy" shows the vessel submerged underwater, with a possible power source still glowing brightly atop the aircraft’s dome..

Another web web site points out that the the photo looks suspiciously like this Google street view image of Jacksonville, Texas.  Does this image below confirm that this is just another hoax?  


A Google street view image taken in Texas
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The Beatles, amended

By Jack Brummet


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Disclaimer

By Jack Brummet

I have collected these in a text file over the years.  
Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To Fly. All models over 18 years of age. Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows. Sign waivers with your real name. Not a Republic. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Pre-1650 garb required by all participants. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. First pull up, then pull down. No alcohol, dogs or horses. For entertainment only, do not put in mouth or rectum.  Not to be used for anything else. For best results, remove cap. Caution: Do not use near power lines. Ignite lighter away from face. Rolling rock. Contents may settle during shipment. Not for intimate hygiene. Do not use as an ice cream topping. 

State Prison: Do Not Stop for Hitchhikers.  This side towards enemy. Your mileage may vary. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents of this container can be harmful or fatal. No Life Support. REPRODUCTION REQUIRES APPROVAL OF ORIGINATOR OR HIGHER GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY. This is an Official U.S.Government system for authorized use only. Persons with open sores or communicable diseases are not permitted to use the facilities. WARNING: Do not smoke until hair is dry. 

 All body contact is limited to simple expressions of affection and friendship. Provocative conduct or sexual misconduct WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Do not Discuss, Enter, Transfer, Process, or Transmit Classified/Sensitive National Security information of greater sensitivity than that for which this system is authorized. Use of this system constitutes consent to security testing and monitoring. Unauthorized use could result in criminal prosecution. Do not run with scissors. Nothing by mouth. 

 You must not find images of adults engaged in sexual acts to be offensive or objectionable; you must understand the laws and standards of the community to which you are transporting this adult material and you must assume all the liability for violating such laws and standard by entering this site; you may not allow any minor to view any of the material or images found by accessing this site. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Keep out of the direct rays of the sun. The reader assumes all risks associated with using this 'product'. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician. Fire-breathing is dangerous. 

 Look out for wind at all times. For your protection and that of others, please sit on towels while nude. Caution: Do Not Lick Lid. The value of shares (and any income from them) may fall as well as rise, and you may not get back the full amount invested. All Rights Reserved. Tumble dry on low heat. No preservatives added. Discontinue use if any of the following occur: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance, slurred speech, or profuse sweating. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not constitute or imply its endorsement. Not fit for human consumption. Do not change fan belt while engine is running. Some of these pages may be offensive to sensitive people. 

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 Product will be hot after heating. Do not iron clothes on body. For indoor or outdoor use only. Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your hands. Use only as directed. Parental supervision required. Accepted by The American Dental Association. Not to be used for other use. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Use only as directed. No Minimum Purchase Required. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Do not mix with other products. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been instructed to tune to a local emergency broadcast station. Apply only to affected area. 

 Warning! Improper use may cause serious injury or death! Keep hair, fingers, and personal objects out of this printer. Do Not Exceed 6 Doses In A 24-Hour Period. Do not feed the animals. Do not stamp. See other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. You May Already Be A Winner. Simulated by professionals. See your dealer for details. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. All opinions and errors are the those of the respective authors. One size fits all. 

 This side up. Many suitcases look alike. Best When Purchased By Date On Bottom. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Temporarily Out Of Order. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. We did what we could to pass good information on to you, but if we goofed, you knew all along to check it out for yourself. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Contains no artificial colors or ingredients. Post office will not deliver without postage. This product is delivered as is. List was current at time of printing. 

 Action figures sold separately. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not The Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Discontinue Use If Rash Persists. Names Used Are Fictitious. All efforts have been made to locate and identify copyright holders of all copyrighted materials. Complies with FCC part 15. Do Not Operate Vehicle With Screen In Place. Offer Good While Supplies Last. Police Line Do Not Cross. Use This Number In All Correspondence. Violators Will Be Prosecuted. 

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Booths for two or more. Unauthorized access attempts or use may subject you to a fine and/or imprisonment in accordance withTitle 18, USC, Section 1030 or administrative penalaties or dismissal. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Do not expose to rain. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. 

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 WARNING! Not For Use On Live Circuits. It is a privilege extended only to the person whose picture appears hereon. Resale of this pass is strictly prohibited. Because only natural products are used, taste, color and body may vary. Caffeine Free. Contains no additives or preservatives. Contains no sugar, caffeine, artificial colors or preservatives. Program may be cancelled or changed without notice. Refrigerate after opening. Shake well before drinking. NO FRUIT JUICE. This is a fictional story. All smilarities to real people and events are coincidental. The observance of all Jewish Holidays begins at sundown the previous day. 

 Do not take this product if your are hypersensitive to any of the ingredients. Limit one punch per visit. See Program Rules and Conditions for additional details. Applies to regular price merchandise only. Interim markdowns taken. The entry of a C.O.D. amount is not a declaration of value. Limit one entry per person. All subsequent entries will be discarded. Actual prize may vary in appearance. The inclusion, exclusion, or definition of a word or term is not intended to affect, or to express any judgment on, the validity or legal status of any proprietary right which may be claimed in that word or term. This card is invalid if laminated. This card is invalid if not signed by the number holder unless health or age prevents signature. Improper use of this card and/or number by the number holder or any other person is punishable by fine, imprisonment or both. This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private. This warranty does not apply in the event of any misuse or abuse of the product, or as a result of any unauthorized repairs or alterations. 

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God; neglect,   damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X- rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc). 
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Friday, December 07, 2012

The Seattle Police humorously blog about legal marijuana

By Jack Brummet, Seattle Metro Editor


The Seattle Police Department blog, which has been way out front of the legalized pot issue since the beginning, released their temporary enforcement policy today.  And they capped it with a picture of the Dude from The Big Lebowski.  Read their entire blog post here.

Some choice tidbits:
"Does this mean you should flagrantly roll up a mega-spliff and light up in the middle of the street? No. If you’re smoking pot in public, officers will be giving helpful reminders to folks about the rules and regulations under I-502 (like not smoking pot in public)."
"the police department believes that, under state law, you may responsibly get baked, order some pizzas and enjoy a Lord of the Rings marathon in the privacy of your own home, if you want to."
"In the meantime, in keeping with the spirit of I-502, the department’s going to give you a generous grace period to help you adjust to this brave, new, and maybe kinda stoned world we live in."
"As we’ve told you here on the Blotter, if you’re over 21, then starting December 6th you can use marijuana, and possess marijuana—up to an ounce of marijuana buds, 16 ounces of solid marijuana-infused product, like cookies, or 72 ounces of infused liquid, like oil." 
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Three digital paintings

by Jack Brummet




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Collage - Paul McCartney

By Jack Brummet

[acrylic paint, mixed media, on poster]

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Wednesday, December 05, 2012

In 20 minutes, in Washington State, 4/20 is now 24/7

By Mona Goldwater, Social Mores Editor



Not rain on the parade of the far more important step forward in Washington State of marriage for everyone, but curiously at midnight both "same sex" marriage and marijuana became legal in the state where I now live.  Now, maybe next year we can repeal the second amendment.
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Digital art: Adam and Eve

By Jack Brummet


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