Absurd.org: Maybe the coolest website ever?

Absurd.org has been around the web a long time. I forgot about it until yesterday. It is still a mesmerizing and bizarre site. In 1999, it won the People's Voice awards for weird web sites at the Webby Awards.

The 1999 Webby awards were probably most notable for [quoting Wikipedia here]: "the famous incident in which a representative of Jodi.org, which had won in the arts category, called the event participants "Ugly corporate sons-of-bitches" in his acceptance speech and tossed his trophy to the audience."

In any case, jump over to Absurd.org and click around. You'll be glad you did. Or utterly befuddled.

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Amazon's 100 greatest Jazz albums: C- (they got it maybe half right)

“The 100 Greatest Jazz Albums of All Time - Our [amazon.com] editors put their stamp of approval on the 100 best-ever albums from the ever-changing world of jazz. “ I dunno. This list smacks of a list by a committee -- the free jazz guy's choices get knocked down, so they have to give him a couple. One editor insists on a weird choice by a great player. As usual, with lists by critics, there are some bizarrely obscure/unworthy choices (like the way Captain Beefheart always turns up on rock lists). I make some of my own suggestions, and grey out the ones I don't think belong. I'm not going to make my own list--mainly because blogger already seems to be chokings on the formatting of this list...


A sampling of egregious omissions:

Charles Lloyd – Forest Flower? a tragic omission.
Charles Mingus Ah Um or Live at Antibes?
Miles – Milestones? Jack Johnson?
Anything by Joe Williams?
Anything by Nat King Cole?
Miles’ In a Silent Way? Birth of the cool? Miles Ahead? Seven steps to heaven?
Trane’s Giant Steps? My favorite things? Impressions? Ballads? Or that work of genius/trane wreck, Live In Seattle?
No John McLaughlin?
No Nina Simone!
No Jimmy Smith (The Sermon would have been nice)?
What about the Beau Hunks?
Bud Powell?
McCoy Tyner?
Bix?


1. The Shape Of Jazz To Come by Ornette Coleman
2. A Love Supreme by John Coltrane. Duh.
3. Bird And Diz by Dizzy Gillespie - It’s a good album. Very good. But also seriously flawed by the drumming of Buddy Rich. He was not a be-bop master and he’s an odd pairing with Bird & Diz. This album needed Max Roach, or Elvin Jones…someone on that order. In fact a review on Amazon says as much. Buddy could keep the time, no doubt, but he couldn’t keep the bop. One more thing that makes the album a questionable greatest—only the first six songs (around 20 minutes) are final takes. The other 18 tunes are outtakes of the first six songs. Yeah, hearing all the false starts and set aside takes of Leap Frog is fascinating. But ten? How many times will anyone listen to all ten versions?
4. Kind Of Blue by Miles Davis – Yeah, this album should be here. But it is tragically overplayed. As good as it is, we’ve all heard it too much.
5. Ella and Louis by Ella Fitzgerald. Yes.
6. Getz/Gilberto by João Gilberto. Sure, not bad.
7. Concert By The Sea by Erroll Garner. A wonderful album.
8. The Black Saint And The Sinner Lady by Charles Mingus, Wrong! They should have included Ah Um, or Live at Antibes instead. Or three or four other Mingus recprdings.
9. Speak No Evil by Wayne Shorter
10. Straight, No Chaser by Thelonious Monk
11. The Köln Concert by Keith Jarrett. I love this album. I don’t know if it is jazz. It’s improvisational and it’s like jazz…
12. Moanin' (The Rudy Van Gelder Edi… by Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers
13. Chet Baker Sings by Chet Baker. I own this album and listen to it once a year or so. I still don’t know what I think if Chet’s singing. I like it because it’s so different from any other jazz singer. Does that mean it belongs in the 100 best?
14. Blue Train (Rudy Van Gelder Edit… by John Coltrane. I like this album, but maybe Giant Steps belongs here instead.
15. Out To Lunch (The Rudy Van Gelde… by Eric Dolphy. Yes.
16. Piano Starts Here by Art Tatum. Is this the right Tatum?
17. Go! (The Rudy Van Gelder Edition) by Dexter Gordon, Not so sure.
18. Count Basie At Newport by Count Basie. You had to have something by the Count.
19. Journey in Satchidananda by Alice Coltrane. I dunno?
20. Time Out by The Dave Brubeck Quartet. Why not?
21. Everybody Digs Bill Evans [Keepn… by Bill Evans. There are several better candidates.
22. Duke Ellington & John Coltrane by Duke Ellington. A sweet record.
23. Naked City by John Zorn. I like JZ—100 best? Cough cough.
24. Louis Armstrong Plays W. C. Handy by Louis Armstrong And His All-Stars. I’d have put in one of the Hot 5’s and 7 comps.
25. At Carnegie Hall by Thelonious Monk Quartet . With ‘Trane, one of the best albums of all time…pretty much rediscovered only recently. Wow.
26. Clifford Brown And Max Roach by Max Roach
27. Afro by Dizzy Gillespie
28. Sketches Of Spain by Miles Davis
29. Karma by Pharoah Sanders
30. Straight Ahead by Abbey Lincoln.
31. Charlie Parker With Strings: Com… by Charlie Parker. Yuk. Bird with strings is great Bird (if you ignore the orchestra)
32. Somethin' Else (Rudy Van Gelder … by Cannonball Adderley
33. Lady in Satin by Billie Holiday. Sure, but there are many others albums in the running. This seems arbitrary.
34. Body & Soul by Coleman Hawkins
35. A Night in Tunisia (The Rudy Van… by Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers. Well, you had to have something by Blakey.
36. Afternoon In Paris by Stephane Grappelli. I think I’d have picked another album, but yeah, he should be here.
37. Compulsion by Andrew Hill. Who?
38. Monk'S Dream by Thelonious Monk Quartet
39. Suspicious Activity? by The Bad Plus. Who?
40. Bitches Brew by Miles Davis. Ok I guess…but no Milestones? No Jack Johnson?
41. Takin' Off (Rudy Van Gelder Edit… by Herbie Hancock. Should have picked Maiden Voyage.
42. The Famous Carnegie Hall Jazz Co… by Benny Goodman
43. Oscar Peterson Trio At The Strat… by The Oscar Peterson Trio
44. The Sidewinder (The Rudy Van Gel… by Lee Morgan
45. The Great Summit - The Master Tapes by Duke Ellington & Louis Armstrong. Yes!
46. Gershwin Plays Rhapsody In Blue by George Gershwin, Honestly, I like Leonard Bernstein’s version more. And really—is this jazz at all?
47. Idle Moments by Grant Green
48. Secrets of the Sun (1962) (Ocrd) by Sun Ra & His Solar Myth Arkestra, Should have picked Cosmic Tones!
49. Mythologies by Patricia Barber. Who?
50. Charles Mingus Presents Charles … by Charles Mingus
51. Such Sweet Thunder by Duke Ellington
52. The Great American Songbook by Carmen McRae
53. Once Upon A Summertime by Blossom Dearie
54. Unit Structures by Cecil Taylor
55. Hamp & Getz by Lionel Hampton
56. Nancy Wilson/Cannonball Adderley by Nancy Wilson And Cannonball Adde…
57. Song Of Innocence by David Axelrod. Who? Am I just going to assume this Axelrod is NOT the Obama henchman!
58. Heavy Weather by Weather Report. I’d have picked Mysterious Traveller, although most people would opt for one of the albums with Jaco Pastorius.
59. Slug's Saloon (disc 1) by Albert Ayler
60. Trio Jeepy by Branford Marsalis. Yes!
61. We Free Kings by Roland Kirk
62. Travelin' Light by Shirley Horn Not a fan.
63. A Night At The Village Vanguard … by Sonny Rollins Sonny is good but overrated.
64. Live In Paris by Diana Krall
65. Clifford Brown With Strings by Clifford Brown
66. Bags & Trane by Milt Jackson & John Coltrane
67. Midnight Blue (The Rudy Van Geld… by Kenny Burrell
68. Don't Go To Strangers by Etta Jones
69. Ellis In Wonderland by Herb Ellis
70. Jazz Impressions Of Black Orpheus by Vince Guaraldi Trio
71. Blue Rose by Duke Ellington & His Orchestra R…
72. Art Pepper Meets The Rhythm Section by Art Pepper
73. Helen Merill by Helen Merrill
74. The Blues and the Abstract Truth by Oliver Nelson
75. School Days by Stanley Clarke
76. Elegiac Cycle by Brad Mehldau
77. Wish by Joshua Redman
78. Artist In Residence by Jason Moran
79. Ahmad's Blues by Ahmad Jamal
80. Sax Pax For A Sax by Moondog
81. Black Codes (From The Underground) by Wynton Marsalis
82. The Right Touch by Duke Pearson
83. The Astrud Gilberto Album by Astrud Gilberto
84. Return To Forever by Chick Corea
85. Blues Dream by Bill Frisell
86. One Night Stand - The Town Hall … by Sarah Vaughn & Lester Young
87. Whipped Cream & Other Delights by Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, I like this album, but I am not sure a fully charted album like this is really jazz at all.
88. Full Force by Art Ensemble Of Chicago
89. Bela Fleck and the Flecktones by Bela Fleck & The Flecktones
90. Mood Indigo by Jimmy Scott
91. Elis & Tom by Elis Regina
92. Offramp by Pat Metheny Group
93. Stan Getz And The Oscar Peterson… by Stan Getz
94. Husky by Skerik's Syncopated Taint Septet
95. Come Play With Me by Cuong Vu
96. Five Compositions (quartet) - 1986 by Anthony Braxton
97. Careless Love by Madeleine Peyroux
98. Jaco Pastorius by Jaco Pastorius
99. M'Boom by Max Roach
100. In My Element by Robert Glasper, Who???
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Please, friends, do not use your iPod to design nuclear missles!

click to enlarge

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Britney spears 'pic of the day, tweeted by Brit herself?

click to enlarge?

I just started using Twitter again. . .mostly to see what it's all about, or what it has evolved into. I first used it a few years ago, before the boom. Back then, it wasn't filled with celebrity Tweeters. It is now, and some of them are fascinating (I'm only following a random few right now...Shaq, Kevin Nealon. Kevin Spacey, and Dean Ericksen, among others). And Britney, who twitters about working in the garden (?), barbecues and playing slip n slide with her kids ("Just finished a barbeque with my boys and the rest of my family. Hanging by the pool. It’s Hot! 100 degrees in LA! ~Brit) or "Playing Slip N’ Slide with the boys. SOOO CUTE!!!! - Brit." She posts pictures from her concert tour, and the fans respond:



click to enlarge
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poem: [I whip out...]

1
I whip out
The gun with a red flag
"BANG" and pump a few rounds into the crowd.

2
Time won't let me,
Walls and bridges don't help me,
And that old time religion won't save me.

3
I am doomed and blessed—
A victim and beneficiary of the war in my head,
Surprising myself with a random act of kindness

Followed, moments later
By an act of callous indifference.
I crawl back into my soul.
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Seattle: City of Destiny, circa 1915

click to enlarge

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All this is that: probably male

From genderanalyzer.com - click to enlarge

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Justice Souter throws in the towel

By Jack Brummet
All This Is That Law and Justice Commentator


Click the Justice to enlarge - illustration by Jack Brummet

Supreme Court Justice David Souter is just about to announce his own bail-out plan. . I may be wrong, but I can't remember another Justice recently (ever?) who actually retired, other than Sandra Day O'Connor. Justices usually leave the court feet first. Don't they?

Justice Souter will retire at the end of the term in June. I was hoping the first retiree would be from the other wing of the court. The thing I've always loved about Souter was that following his 1990 appointment, by George Bush the Elder, he rapidly became one of the Court's staunch liberals. A good friend of mine was a law clerk for him before the appointment. I remember her saying "don't worry. You'll be surprised. So will George Bush."

The rumors circulating say that Souter has had it with Washington, and wants to get out while he can still actually enjoy retirement in New Hampshire.

It's been many (15?) years since a Democrat was even able to name a nominee. And this time. . .our President has a [growing] majority in the Senate. He could probably get Angela Davis confirmed if he put his mind to it.

The alleged/possible/trial balloon short list of replacements includes Elena Kagan (the solicitor general), and Sonia Sotomayor and Diana Pamela Wood--both appellate court judges.

This will be pretty sweet for BHO. . .he is getting his first court opening in the first few months of his Presidency. George W. Bush--thank God--had no openings until well into his second term,
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digital art: The First Lady

Click Mrs. O to enlarge

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digital art: The Grey

click the grey to enlarge

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Seattle's Hooverville in the 30's

Seattle's 1930's Hooverville actually looked fairly orderly, with something even approaching a street grid


click to enlarge - The Seattle Hooverville settlement sometime
in the '30s. The photograph is courtesy of the Washington State
Digital Archives.
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Celebrate! Sen. Arlen Specter extricates himself from The Hive--> The GOP begins to succumb to The Sickness

By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor

Wow. This is, to quote John Sebastian at The Woodstock Festival, a "mindf***er of all mindf***ers." We DID know Specter's break with the Party in voting for BHO's budget was not just a break, but a massive, and perhaps irreparable breach. Arlen Specter! He's been a Republican longer than most Republicans have been alive!

It's no secret to political junkies that Specter is a close friend of the Vice President. Biden has cajoled Sen. Arlen Specter to jump to the Democratic Party for six years. In the last week, he talked to the heroic party-switcher no fewer than 15 times, officials close to Joe Biden told Fox News. Ever since Specter voted against his party, and for the massive Obama stimulus package, Biden seems to have been pressing his case.

A decade ago, Republicans had nine senators in the 11 states stretching up the Interstate 95 corridor north of the Capitol. Today, they have three senators from those states, and one, Judd Gregg of New Hampshire, will retire in 2010.

"This has been a long time coming," said the senior official, who spoke on condition of anonymity [cluck cluck cluck]. "He's been having this conversation with Specter for half a dozen years. They're close. You'd be hard-pressed to find a senator he's co-sponsored more bills with." The two are also Amtrak buddies, riding from D.C. to Biden's home in Wilmington, Del., and Specter's in Philadelphia. And they've served together forever on the Senate Judiciary Committee, often in concert, sometimes in opposition.

Yeah, they did split over the sexual harassment allegations by Anita Hill against Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas with Specter taking the low road and endlessly hectoring Hill during her testimony and attempting (in the end, successfully, and shamefully) to derail her charges.

The White House official told Fox that "Biden views the stimulus vote as 'a clarifying event' for Specter, one where he decided to back Obama's economic approach and risk retribution from his party." When Specter was faced with a dogfight with a very well-funded conservative challenger, Republican Patrick Toomey, it was the last straw, and he joined The Good Fight.



Readers of All This Is That--when they do not immediately recoil and click away upon seeing an article on The Greys--are well aware of the Alien Lore regarding "cerebral eviction" practices, or, the "Alien Rejection Technique", first used by John Loengard as a method of ganglion removal for human hosts implanted by the Hive. During the final moments of an A. R.T., the human host usually coughs up the ganglion,which must locate a new host. . .or succumb. In this case, however, Senator Specter ejected himself from the diseased host and immediately jumped to a new, healthy, positive host, leaving the former host to the pathetic ministrations of Rush "Oxy" Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, and Bobby Jindal.

And, hey, Republicans. . .the tent is big! Come on Senator Olympia Snowe, Senator Susan Collins, Senators McCain and Lamar Alexander. We will welcome all of you actual and alleged centrists. Even you, Joe Lieberman, you sub-human, sawed-off P.O.S. . .come into the big tent! There's lots of room, and we have lots of work for everyone.
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digital art: Daveed and 'Mo

click to enlarge Daveed and 'Mo

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Does The Brown Sound Really Exist? Involuntary evacuation in the news

A fair amount has been written about the brown sound. Notably, one of the funniest South Park episodes, "Worldwide Recorder Concert," tells the story of Cartman learning how to make the sound and then unleashing it on his enemies (and others, including Kenny G [pictured above] and Yoko Ono) at a concert. You may have heard of the “brown noise” or “brown sound” – it is a very low-frequency sound (usually identified as a sound under 15 hz) that is said to cause those who hear it to suddenly lose control of their bowels.

You can see a clip from the South Park show here.

Jonathan Sterne writes in "The Brown Sound" that the sound is "an oscillation of sound that causes the bowels to loosen. The brown noise is believed to be ninety-two cents below the lowest octave of E flat.” “The brown noise was discovered by the French, and tested as a weapon during WWII. It is a 12-14hz sound wave that, when played loud enough, relaxes your sphincter, causing loss of bowel control.”

"On the lower end of our hearing, we almost never perceive a 20hz sound. Even before the vibration slows to 20 cycles a second (roughly an E-flat), we begin to feel the sound as vibration rather than just hearing it. Once the rate of vibration drops below 20hz, we can't hear it as sound at all; we only feel it as vibration. So when Cartman proudly announces that the brown noise is 92 cents below the lowest octave of E flat, he is saying that the brown noise is not a noise at all. It is subsonic vibration. In the second definition, the brown noise is somewhat lower, in the 12-14hz range, which would place the note somewhere between a G and an A, were an elephant or some other animal with better low-end perception than a human to inquire about the pitch. "

Military history is filled with stories of people attempting to create (and most importantly, deploy) the brown sound and other infrasonic weapons. The most common story says the Nazis experimented with pretty much every kind of imaginable weapon, and a brown noise generator was among a class of “sonic” weapons they devised. The plan was to use it in surprise attacks on both military and civilian targets. "On the battlefield, you could momentarily overtake your opponent – and since the brown noise is very low-frequency vibration, it could hypothetically travel through tanks and other hard-to-reach places, thereby temporarily disabling the enemy. It could also be useful for civilian attacks to weaken enemy morale – as a form of what the Nazis called “worldview warfare” and what Americans now call psychological warfare."

The Fortean Times quotes acoustician Jurgen Altman, who argued in a 1999 paper that acoustic weapons were basically impossible to construct: “I have found no hard evidence for vomiting or uncontrolled defecation, even at levels of 170 dB or more.” It takes so much power to generate a low, low sound that it is virtually impossible. . .and then no one is really sure earplugs would actually help...it's your bowels themselves that would be affected, and there really are no earplugs for your bowels. . . at least yet.
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digital art: Old Glory

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