Click to enlarge
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Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Sons - an old internet/email meme
__________________
For people who have sons; and those of us who are happy that we don't.
You may find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Monday, February 08, 2010
Sarah Palin rocks the house at the Tea Party in Nashville. Not that hard, since everyone else dropped out.
"Say he played the war card, say he decided to declare war on Iran or decided to really come out and do whatever he could to support Israel which I would like him to do, but that changes the dynamics on what we can assume is going to happen between now and three years because I think if the election were today, I do not think that Obama would be re-elected." - Sarah Palin, on Saturday.
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Sunday, February 07, 2010
Poem: The Tenth Planet, or an incredible facsimile by Jack Brummet
We recently wrote about what we hoped might be a new shot at a tenth planet (disregarding for now the fact that scientists last year "demoted" Pluto). A couple years ago, we published a poem by Jack on what was then the current candidate for the Tenth Planet:
The Tenth Planet, or an incredible facsimile
by Jack Brummet
Is it a planet or not?
It depends on
What it's orbiting around.
A planet must orbit a star.
Round objects floating freely
Through space don't count.
If an object orbits a much larger object
That is not a star
Then it's not a planet either.
Scientists are slated to announce
Very soon whether or not that rock
Floating out there is the tenth planet
Or not.
If it isn't
Then what?
---o0o---
The Tenth Planet, or an incredible facsimile
by Jack Brummet
Is it a planet or not?
It depends on
What it's orbiting around.
A planet must orbit a star.
Round objects floating freely
Through space don't count.
If an object orbits a much larger object
That is not a star
Then it's not a planet either.
Scientists are slated to announce
Very soon whether or not that rock
Floating out there is the tenth planet
Or not.
If it isn't
Then what?
---o0o---
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Poem: When Evil Fails
In the end, evil konks out
Like a squid simmered in its own ink,
Because evil fails the moment
It overwhelms the good,
Consuming the very energy
To which it owed its duration.
---o0o---
Like a squid simmered in its own ink,
Because evil fails the moment
It overwhelms the good,
Consuming the very energy
To which it owed its duration.
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Friday, February 05, 2010
Alien Lore No. 167 - The Tenth Planet On Its Way? Hubble Observes P/2010 A2 traveling at 11,000 miles per hour
Thanks to Jeff Clinton for referring this story. It appeared on Gizmodo originally, but we used mostly the Hubble and NASA sites for info. Photo reproduced courtesy of NASA, and You, the American Taxpayer.
The Hubble recently uncovered a weird X-shaped object traveling through space at around 11,000 mph. NASA says that P/2010-A2 is probably be a comet or the aftermath of a collision between two asteroids. [Editor's note, unless my math is wrong, they could be here in a year or so??]
This NASA Hubble Space Telescope photo below shows a comet-like P/2010 A2, which was first discovered by the LINEAR (Lincoln Near-Earth Asteroid Research program) sky survey on January 6.
The object appears so odd in ground-based telescopic images that NASA decided to book a little time on Hubble to take a closer look. This January 29 picture shows a "bizarre X-pattern of filamentary structures near the point-like nucleus of the object and trailing streamers of dust," according to NASA
The inset picture suggests the object is not a comet but instead the product of a head-on collision between two asteroids. ASA says that astronomers have "long thought that the asteroid belt is being ground down through collisions, but such a smashup has never before been seen."
At the time of the Hubble observations, the object was approximately 180 million miles from the Sun and 90 million from Earth. The bottom line on P/2010 A2 is that no one who is supposed to know has any idea where it came from or where it's going. Naturally, we at All This Is That believe that it is the fabled Tenth Planet, come home to join us, rescue us, or invade us.
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This NASA Hubble Space Telescope photo below shows a comet-like P/2010 A2, which was first discovered by the LINEAR (Lincoln Near-Earth Asteroid Research program) sky survey on January 6.
The inset picture suggests the object is not a comet but instead the product of a head-on collision between two asteroids. ASA says that astronomers have "long thought that the asteroid belt is being ground down through collisions, but such a smashup has never before been seen."
At the time of the Hubble observations, the object was approximately 180 million miles from the Sun and 90 million from Earth. The bottom line on P/2010 A2 is that no one who is supposed to know has any idea where it came from or where it's going. Naturally, we at All This Is That believe that it is the fabled Tenth Planet, come home to join us, rescue us, or invade us.
---o0o---
The Supermarket
He says, "Do you know me?"
She smiles and says
"I think you're the father of one of my kids."
He is, of course, stunned. His mind reels back to the one time he was unfaithful to his wife.
"You're the stripper from my bachelor party? I remember. We had sex on the pool table while your partner whipped me with wet celery."
She smiles and says,
"No. I'm your son's math teacher."
---o0o---
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Drawing: Faces No. 107: abductions, the jury pool, the affair, checking out, murder, the return of the king, and other scenes from Turtle Island
Drawing by Jack Brummet
click to enlarge
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Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Senator "Crazy" Joe Lieberman, on going it Republican style in 2012
Dear GOP:
I hope you enjoy that treacherous, sawed-off dingbat as much as we have!
Love,
Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor
National Affairs Editor
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Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Dr. Wu by Steely Dan (from Katy Lied), with lyrics
Katy tried
I was halfway crucified
I was on the other side
Of no tomorrow
You walked in
And my life began again
Just when I'd spent the last piaster
I could borrow
All night long
We would sing that stupid song
And every word we sang
I knew was true
Are you with me Doctor Wu
Are you really just a shadow
Of the man that I once knew
Are you crazy are you high
Or just an ordinary guy
Have you done all you can do
Are you with me Doctor
Don't seem right
I've been strung out here all night
I've been waiting for the taste
You said you'd bring to me
Biscayne Bay
Where the Cuban gentlemen sleep all day
I went searching for the song
You used to sing to me
Katy lies
You could see it in her eyes
But imagine my surprise
When I saw you
Are you with me Doctor Wu
Are you really just a shadow
Of the man that I once knew
She is lovely yes she's sly
And you're an ordinary guy
Has she finally got to you
Can you hear me Doctor
---o0o---
Monday, February 01, 2010
One of the 100 most misspelled words in the English language is misspelled
One of the 100 most mispelled misspelled words in the English language is "misspelled." "misspell - What is more embarrassing than to misspell the name of the problem? Just remember that it is mis + spell and that will spell you the worry about spelling 'spell.' " Click here for Dictionary.com's list of those 100 words.
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Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Relativity & Politics by Albert Einstein
"All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field" ~Albert Einstein---o0o---
Justice Alito's mugging for the camera was no better than Joe Wilson's outburst
A quick note from Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs Editor
Wasn't Justice Alito's scowl & mouthing "not true" at the camera maybe even worse than Rep. Wilson's "You lie" earlier this year? Step down, you contemptible, windbag and take Scalia with you...preferably feet first.
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Friday, January 29, 2010
Travel shots: getting poked for health
I stopped in at the Dr. yesterday for eight shots in preparation for my trip to India in March (Mumbai, Aurangabad, Pune, Hyderabad, and Udaipur). I was pocked with eight various vaccines: Polio, a seasonal 'flu shot, H1N1, Diphtheria, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Typhoid, Whooping Cough, and Tetanus. And I still have to go back for a couple of booster shots before I leave, and fill two prescriptions, one for Malaria, and another antibiotic for intestinal disorders.
You gotta wonder just a little what your body really thinks about the eight new vaccines swimming around in your system. Are there other cooties in there, going oh man, I can't even remain dormant with this stuff coming at me? Is there actually like a war of he bugs going on in your body? I mean the vaccines have to have something to do, right? Or do they just keep a benign watch, waiting for a polio or tetanus virus to sneak in?
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Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Best Obama Speech Yet
By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor
I liked BHO's speech last night; it was his best speech yet, because it was the hardest. I liked the plaintive (as opposed to soaring) tone, liked that he hit at what he inherited, ripped into the GOP leadership, as well as the Democrats and the bi-party electioneering/posing and factionalism. Change 2.0. We could still get it right.
From another President's state of the union:
"Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are... running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution."
- President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, in Idiocracy
---o0o---
All This Is That National Affairs Editor
I liked BHO's speech last night; it was his best speech yet, because it was the hardest. I liked the plaintive (as opposed to soaring) tone, liked that he hit at what he inherited, ripped into the GOP leadership, as well as the Democrats and the bi-party electioneering/posing and factionalism. Change 2.0. We could still get it right.
From another President's state of the union:
"Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are... running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution."
- President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, in Idiocracy
---o0o---
Raucous/picaresque/books that always make me laugh and smile
Here are some of the books I return to over and over in the moments when I need a laugh.
Henry IV, Part I - William Shakespeare
A Cool Million - Nathaniel West
Gargantua and Pantagruel - Francois Rabelais
The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman - Laurence Sterne
Amerika - Franz Kafka
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Ball Four - Jim Bouton
Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis
Moo - Jane Smiley
The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle - Tobias Smollett
Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe
The Good Soldier Schweik - Jaroslav Hasek
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson
Rivethead - Ben Hamper
Blue Movie - Terry Southern
Most books by Carl Hiassen
Trout Fishing In America - Richard Brautigan
Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 1972 - Hunter S. Thompson
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Henry IV, Part I - William Shakespeare
A Cool Million - Nathaniel West
Gargantua and Pantagruel - Francois Rabelais
The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman - Laurence Sterne
Amerika - Franz Kafka
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Ball Four - Jim Bouton
Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis
Moo - Jane Smiley
The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle - Tobias Smollett
Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe
The Good Soldier Schweik - Jaroslav Hasek
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson
Rivethead - Ben Hamper
Blue Movie - Terry Southern
Most books by Carl Hiassen
Trout Fishing In America - Richard Brautigan
Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 1972 - Hunter S. Thompson
---o0o---
David Dees' Takes on Politics, Economics, and Conspiracies
David Dees is an iconoclast. I don't really know if he is trolling, or serious. He's brilliant in either case. Kind thanks to David Dees for permission to reprint some of his work here...
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Obama brings Teleprompters to VA elementary school & avoids being tripped up by the tricksy 6th graders
By Jack Brummet
[ed's note: by Jack, largely because Pablo Fanque refused to have anything to do with this story. Is he getting soft on POTUS?]
This just seems so, uh, lame? Last week, BHO visited an elementary school class in Falls Church, Virginia. The sixth graders must have been a tough crowd. . .The President brought along two TelePrompTers.
I am probably reading too much into all this. There has to be some reason other than wanting to deliver a perfectly nuanced and cadenced speech. When you think about it, I bet George W. Bush would have skipped the prompters and fumbled through as best as he could (the autocue machine never did make him sound like an orator). With President Bush, you could understand teleprompters, but with President Obama, you know he could get through whatever speech he was delivering at the elementary school. On the other hand, no speech a President gives is confined to that room, as the press photos show. Even the most casual speech has the potential to end up broadcast to millions on the airwaves and cable networks...
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Photo: The Beatles fishing in Seattle
The Beatles fishing from their hotel window at Seattle's Edgewater Inn. You can still fish there. Led Zeppelin famously dropped a line, and Frank Zappa wrote his song "Mud Shark" about fishing there. . .
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