John Edwards experienced a Penile Zipper Injury in his rush to escape the Beverly Hilton Hotel

By Pablo Fanque,

All This Is That National Affairs Editor

I wrote an article a couple of days ago, in which I stated that All This Is That had published its last article on Ex-Senator John Edwards. I should have said "next to last."

How was I to know that I would be in the Formosa Cafe in Hollywood the next day, striking up a conversation with a young woman who turned out to be an intern at Cedars Sinai Medical Center (near Beverly Hills and West Hollywood)? Or that she had treated, along with a resident, a man named "Jack Olson" who was in fact John Edwards? And that she would treat him for a trauma that most often occurs in young boys?

You may snigger, but in fact, Ex-Senator Edwards experienced a common emergency room complaint about which dozens of articles have been published in medical journals. Look here. Or here.

As it turns out, my intern friend, Jenny, treated the Ex-Senator for a Penile Zipper Injury. She only understood what actually happened after the National Enquirer broke the story wide open. The Senator was in a hurry to zip up and hightail it out of the Beverly Hilton Hotel when he experienced a most painful misfire. The injury did not require catgut sutures, but did necessitate application of an ointment and dressing to the former Senator's tallywhacker. John Edwards was zipping up quickly as he realized the hotel was crawling with reporters and photographers.

"Jack Olson" and Rielle "Baby Mama" Hunter

The zipper injury John Edwards incurred has thus far not been mentioned in the press. Until today.
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Learn Barack's VP pick, straight from the horses's mouth

Barack Obama is about to choose a running mate, and he wants you to be the first to know. "You have helped build this movement from the bottom up, and Barack wants you to be part of this important moment."

Sign up with The Senator/44th President and he'll send you an email announcing his running mate. You can also text VP to 62262 to receive the text message on your mobile phone.
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The Enquirer says that John Edwards is only hinting at the truth

Rielle and John in happier days

"SEX, MORE LIES & VIDEOTAPE

"The ENQUIRER has uncovered bombshell new details about the John Edwards sex scandal after the former presidential candidate finally admitted he'd cheated on his cancer-stricken wife Elizabeth!Edwards' headline-making admission confirmed The ENQUIRER's blockbuster world exclusive reports detailing his affair, in articles Edwards brazenly called "completely untrue" and "tabloid trash" while running for president and afterward."

"John Edwards is still lying!" a close source told The ENQUIRER. "He lied to his wife Elizabeth, he's lying to Rielle
and he lied all the way through his TV interview!"

"And now The ENQUIRER has uncovered that Edwards' political operatives are still paying his mistress Rielle Hunter - and she was whisked away on a private jet two days before he confessed their extramarital affair on national TV! The ENQUIRER has also confirmed that Edwards secretly visited Rielle and their love child three separate times at the Beverly Hilton hotel in Los Angeles this year - a fact that proves he is still lying to America and his wife."



"ENQUIRER reporters caught Edwards, 55, making a late-night visit to 44-year-old Rielle and their daughter at the hotel on July 21 - which prompted us to release the first-ever photograph of him with his love child last week. " Read the entire story here.
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John Edwards: Meet the Press

The mainstream media hung fire when it was a "National Enquirer story," but now that he's let the cat out of the bag, those very same journalists seem to be rather enjoying the drawing and quartering of John Edwards

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Paris Hilton's video response to John McCain's Obama attack ad featuring her...

Say what you will about Paris Hilton (who am I to care if she wears no underwear?), she hits a zinger with this little ad.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

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John Edwards to take DNA Test in hopes of tamping down baby mama story?

John Edwards and his alleged girlfriend/baby mama Rielly Hunter

This John Edwards-Rielle Hunter love child matter keeps simmering, and spattering, on the back burner. There isn't enough evidence for the mainstream media to do much with the story, but the Republican and Neocon and tabloid blogs make up for their caution. Senator, how will you put this to rest without taking a DNA test, and maybe then slapping the National Enquirer with a big defamation suit that you could even prosecute yourself, After all,
win, lose, or draw on the love-child allegations. . .your goose is cooked, politically. . .no matter how it turns out in the end. In short, you have nothing to lose, Senator Edwards.

The evidence is shaky enough that The Wikipedia won't even let people edit a John Edwards article. And it has had some edits these last couple of weeks, you can bet on that.


click to enlarge

I don't see any way around a DNA test. John Edwards already said he didn't do it. Rielle said he didn't do it. Andrew Young said he is the father. And the story keeps circulating. The story seems so improbable, and his early denunciations so vehement that you had to guess that there was nothing there (but then how many politicians--except Elliott Spitzer--'fess up right away? On the other hand, the National Enquirer did find him in a Los Angeles Hotel, skulking around at 2:45 AM, and even hiding in the bathroom...and this is from an impartial, Non-Enquirer worker at the hotel. We have yet to see a photo or video however.

Three weeks ago, he was bandied about in the mainstream media as a strong VP candidate, and if not the VP, then Attorney General. We haven't heard any more about that lately. This has to put Obama in something of a pickle too.

John Edwards, this silence thing is not working very well for you. It's time to go to the mats and fight the story, or to drop your ambitions and walk away from it forever. If the story is true, you are lower than a snake's sphincter, and if it's false then you deserve to make life miserable for your false accusers. It's one or the other now; the story isn't going away.

It just struck me that if Andrew Young is the father, and the child has now been born, wouldn't a photo possibly clear this up (or put the lie to the Young paternity story)? Andrew Young is African-American, after all, and wouldn't that at least give some credence to the story...whichever way you are swinging with it?
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Obama's VP-stakes--> Come on Barack! Go with Smilin' Joe

While the campaign and Barack himself have been very circumspect about his choice for running mate, they have floated at least the following names:

• Virginia Governor Tim Kaine
• Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius
• Indiana Senator Evan Bayh (an olive branch to Hillary supporters)
• Senator Joe Biden (my personal favorite)
• Georgia Ex-Senator Sam Nunn

Pick Smilin' Joe, Barack! He's got the foreign policy experience you need, and he's great on the campaign trail. He never gets tired of talking!
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"18 Million cracks in the ceiling": Hillary Clinton calls it quits

by Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor, All This Is That
Washington, D.C. Saturday 6/7/08

OK. We supported her. And then we didn't support her. She and her husband have perhaps too often aggressively pursued their dream, and along the way made some dumb comments about race, Obama's religion, Bobby Kennedy and other tasteless faux pas. . But today, when she finally conceded defeat, it was Hillary Clinton who made the big classy speech, as she bowed out.



"As we gather here today," she told her fans and staff at the National Building Museum yesterday, "the 50th woman to leave this Earth is orbiting overhead. If we can blast 50 women into space, we will someday launch a woman into the White House."

"Although we weren't able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it's got about 18 million cracks in it," the Senator said, "and the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time."
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Obama camp: Hillary Clinton is a monster!

In what can only be a moment of madness during an interview with The Scotsman, Samantha Power, Obama's normally extremely bright key foreign policy aide, let slip the camp's true feelings about the former First Lady.

Her comments came as Sen. Obama, whose ass-whuppin' in Texas and Ohio were being blamed on the negative attacks on him, vowed to turn up the heat on Sen. Clinton over her claims to be the more experienced candidate, e.g., the person you want answering The Red Phone At 3:00 A.M.

Ms Power told The Scotsman Clinton would stop at nothing to seize the lead from Obama.

"We f***** up in Ohio," she admitted. "In Ohio, they are obsessed and Hillary is going to town on it, because she knows Ohio's the only place they can win. "

"She is a monster, too – that is off the record – she is stooping to anything," Ms Power said, hastily trying to withdraw her remark.

The bogtrotter Powers has really stepped in it this time. Click here to read the entire article in The Scotsman.
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Bill Clinton endorses Barack Obama for President, announces he is splitting the sheets with Hillary

Bill Clinton endorses Barack Obama for President, announces he is splitting the sheets with Hillary

By Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That national affairs editor
reporting from San Antonio, Texas

At a press conference this morning with Sen. Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton announced to stunned reporters that he was endorsing Obama for President. The former president also disclosed that he will be separating from his wife. "It's probably one of the worst kept secrets on the beltway that Hillary will be divorcing me after she is elected. Or drops out of the race. Honestly, whenever that happens is immaterial. But I did want to stand up today and support Barack as he heads into these last 20 contests."

The press corps shouted repeated questions as the former President shooks hands with Obama, told the press "I'll see you on the campaign trail," and left the podium.
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Robert Porter wants to photograph Hillary Clinton naked--for a cool million!

It's always fun when a nut job from Seattle makes news--like one of the UFO organizations, one of the porn gurus, Paul Allen, and many more. . . .but Robert Porter takes the cake this week. At least he did until this morning, when a wacko eco-terrorist group burned down four mansions on a "Street of Dreams" in the suburbs near Seattle.

Retired dot com entrepreneur wants Hillary Clinton naked. Robert Porter--who seems to be a Seattle, or northwest, DotCom gazillionaire wants Senator Clinton to pose nude for a "series of tasteful, artistic nude photos." He offered $750,000 and later raised the ante to $1,000,000.

Porter says he has a point to make about sexually repressed America.

Name: Bob
Age: 56

"I am a retired entrepreneur who thrived during the prosperous years of the Clinton administration. Because I feel I have a debt to President and Senator Clinton, I am making a radical, "out of the box" proposal to her which I think will enhance her stature to people around the world, especially women.

I am offering Senator Clinton $750,000 to pose for a series of tasteful, artistic nude photos. I am NOT talking about pornography; these would be tasteful photos which would show Senator Clinton as an older woman who is fully in control of her body and her sexuality.President Hillary Clinton would represent a new direction for America and these photos would serve to demonstrate her commitment to that new brave, bold direction.

To email me: hillaryproject08@gmail.com"
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Hillary: I've only begun to fight

The Associated Press reports that Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton suggested in Toledo, Ohio this morning that she'll press on with the campaign after Tuesday's crucial primaries, arguing that momentum is on her side despite 11 straight losses to rival Sen. Barack Obama.

"I'm just getting warmed up."

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Barack Obama, Kevin Curran, & All This Is That

Jack and Kev, in non-debate mode -- click to enlarge

If you are a regular reader, you will know that we frequently engage in verbal fisticuffs with reader and frequent participant Kev. We have tilted frequently on the viability of Obama v Hillary. One thing we do agree on (aside from most of our core values) is Mario Cuomo. And we are slowly perhaps coming to agreement on Senator Obama. An exchange from today:

Kevin said...
You've been slogging him pretty hard and long now, Jackie. What do you have against the guy? And don't say it's his supporters cuz you have been steadily negative since right after you called him tougher than dirt and figured his experience to be roughly equivalent to your gal, Hil's. That goes back a year or more. I'd bet a quick review would show you've steadily ragged him since then.

Jack Brummet said...

OK. Are you calling shenanigans?

I was absolutely stunned and humbled by the speech he made at the Democratic convention in 2004. And he was a huck; an Illinois legislator. His keynote address was extremely good. Maybe not quite at the Cuomo level of speechification, but the best I'd heard in years.

He was elected to the U.S. Senate that fall with 70% of the vote. In thr Senate, he co-sponsored bipartisan bills on controlling conventional weapons and on tightening accountability in the expenditure of federal funds (a position you have to admit is not so different from that of Ronald Wilson Reagan). In the current session of Congress--contrary to my frequent claims of near total absenteeism--he sponsored legislation on lobbying, electoral fraud, climate change, nuclear terrorism, and medical and psychiatric care for returning military basket cases.

In ways, I've been fighting against Obama because I don't think it's his time (and boy I know he's tired of hearing that old saw). And I don't want him to waste his shot. Because he does deserve to be President, and in my booklet, solely because he has the love and the strength and the passion to draw this country together. And if we had to wait four or eight or even twelve years for that, that would be OK. If we run him now, you have to guess we only have one shot. But I'm not so sure we have those four or eight or twelve years to sparel

On the other hand, I guess, I am willing to sacrifice Obama now, because I am not at all sure there will be a second chance. I don't want a sacrifice...I want him to win.

Will I fight for Obama? Of course. But I also worked for Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, and Kerry (well, with Kerry my involvement was only through checks). I hope Obama supporters have the stomach for the compromises their candidate will need to make to be elected. Hey guys, it's not the 60's! Ok. Maybe he won't nominate Lieberman, but whoever he does nominate will not likely sit well with his core supporters.

Yeah, I've been very tough on Obama. But he needs that. He has just about shown he can take anything that gets hucked at him.

So, at this late date, I too, am about to join the Obama bandwagon; he is my fourth and final choice.

I started out with John Edwards, and hung with him for a long time, and in the last couple of months, leading up to the first primaries, I settled on Joe Biden--even at that point a hopeless long shot. Then it was straight into Hillary's clutches. So, I come to Obama as my fourth (and final) choice. What spooks me the most is that Mondale, Dukakis, and Kerry were also my fourth choices. But even at this (comparitively early) date, I feel far more positive about the prospects of Barack Obama than I did with any ot those other three disastrous candidates.

Jack Brummet said...
Let me also note that I am all for Obama making the Supreme Court nominations that will surely come his way. There will likely be at least 2,3, or 4 in his first term alone. I'd be fine with Hillary's choices too. However, I also do not think Hillary will get the same kind of honeymoon as Obama. If he really is the uniter, and the vector of change we hope he is, Obama will be able to move mountains. And in my heart, I know that when Hillary tries to move mountains, she encounters the proverbial irresistable force. . .
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Obama selects ex-Democrat Joe Lieberman as Vice President/running mate

The new partners discuss the finer points of the ongoing
campaign for the White House.


Birds of a feather

Senator Barack Obama today stunned Democrats and even his own staffers by announcing he would select Senator Joe Lieberman (now an independent) as his running mate. The statement sent shockwaves through the Obama network of supporters.


It wasn't so long ago that Obama praised the turncoat former Democrat Senator. There is no question, Obama has long been a Lieberman fan...click here for more on that.

"I know that some in the party have differences with Joe," Senator Obama said, all but silencing the crowd. "I'm going to go ahead and say it. It's the elephant in the room. And Joe and I don't agree on everything. But what I know is, Joe Lieberman's a man with a good heart, with a keen intellect, who cares about the working families of America." Then, with applause beginning to build, he finished the thought: "I am absolutely certain that Connecticut's going to have the good sense to send Joe Lieberman back to the United States Senate." That time, people cheered loudly.
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And So It Goes: Clinton Takes A Shellacking in Washington State & The Senator Weeps Once Again

click to enlarge

In an interesting sidebar, The Senator turned on the waterworks again today. I don't really mean "turn on." There is nothing wrong with becoming misty-eyed. It is a little unsettling that this person, who, thirty plus years, has shown nerves of steel, is moved to tears in public three times in the last month. But you know, maybe this is the result of hitting it hammer and tong in the hustings. If you spend that much time in the field, with the people, it's likely that you will hear horror stories of citizens thrown to the wolves. It doesn't offend me at all that Hillary has choked up at some of these questions. In fact, I have actually found it moving that this tough cookie could afford herself an unscripted moment, where we got to peek under the covers, if only for the moment. While I very much enjoyed listening to Obama's speech at Key Arena (a couple of miles from my house). . .it was, in the end, his standard stump speech, but leavened for the high tech crowd, the biotech community, Boeing, and praising Starbucks, Microsoft, McKinstry, and other businesses. My son Del (age 15) was at the speech and came away a believer.



Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., wipes her eye
as she listens to a disabled U.S. veteran's story
during a campaign stop in Lewiston, Maineon Saturday.
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The Barackus Caucus in Seattle

We went to our local caucus as we usually do. One difference this time around--instead of 18 people, our caucus had 94 people.



In our precinct, the vote went 72 for Obama and 22 for Clinton, or, five delegates for Obama, and two for Clinton. The majority of the undecided later went for Clinton, although not enough to give us an additional delegate to the county convention.

Interestingly--and this may be an anomaly--of the 72 Obama voters, about 15 were women. On the Clinton side, about 12 of our 22 voters were women. Keelin made a good speech for Hillary Clinton, and even brough up my Joe Lieberman argument. A lot of Obama supporters seem to think he will nominate George Clooney for VP, rather than the tired old hack or wardheeler he will inevitably have thrust upon him. They also seemed to believe he would end the war January 21st, fix the economy within a few months, and become fast friends with many of the other world leaders.

In the end, of course, we'll all pull for whichever candidate ends up on top. At the moment, Obama definitely has momentum. But all it takes is one little F**k-up to reverse that momentum. He's been pretty steady so far, but that only means he's due for one. This time, 'though, all of our skin will be in the game.
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Billary, then and now

I wonder if we will address them as Presidents Clinton? Or what?

Bill and Hillary, then

Bill and Hillary, now
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Run Barack Run! --- A poster

Click The Senator to enlarge

Since they have been so nice about calling to ask for money, I elected to make an in-kind contribution instead. I wrote the Obama campaign tonight, and offered this poster for their use free of charge.

[ed's note: Now that we've posted this, we notice Jack left off an important bullet point: "- He has the smallest mansion of anyone running!"]
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Democratic Poster: a fine tradition

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