On the Surf N Turf Circuit: Faded supernovas, one-hit wonders, and bands you've sort of heard of board their buses on the casino loop

Hearing that Jewel was playing the casino circuit now, I began wondering who else had been reduced to the casino loop. An unbelievable array of bands and singles are criss-crossing the country now, and may be nearly as big a draw as the $1.29 well drinks and the $9.99 all you can eat buffet.

Even people who can still sell out mid-sized venues like Bob Dylan (it hurts to type this), Cher, Jimmy Buffett and Shania Twain have hit the casinos.

The Century Casino in Edmonton, Alberta has recently hosted acts like Trooper, Herman’s Hermits (who in their prime often out-sold The Beatles), Air Supply, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, and Don McLean. They have also had arguably strong rockers appear like Joan Jett and Cheap Trick.

Wayne Newton started out playing casinos, but now he's playing the really crappy ones. Danke Shoen, dude!

Blind Melon, Vanilla Ice, Chilliwack, Soul Asylum, Kim Mitchell, The Cowsills, Glass Tiger, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and Blue Oyster Cult have all recently played in a Calgary casino.

Three Dog Night, The Doobie Brothers, The Allman Brothers, Blondie, The Beach Boys (with none of the Wilson Brothers), The Oustsiders (Time won't let me...a great rock single), ? and the Mysterians, Eric Burdon of The Animals, Tommy James & The Shondells, Mark Lindsay of Paul Revere & The Raiders, Mitch Ryder of The Detroit Wheels, and Ron Dante of The Archies have all hit the circuit.

Air Supply also played the Stampede Casino. Kelly Doody (nice name) wrote in the Calgary Sun: "I asked one of the clean-up staff if it had been a sold-out performance. "Yeah," he told me emphatically while straightening back out the banquet chairs. "I'd say there were at least 200 people in here."

He's not a rocker, but the Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut had a year long agreement with The Daily Show's Jon Stewart to appear.

Pechanga Resort & Casino in Temecula, Californiahas brought in rockers, as well as people and bands like Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld, Keith Sweat, Kool & the Gang, and even bands like Rascal Flatts, and Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, that attract the under 50 set.

Jewel. I am really not a fan of her poetry, but I thought her first album was pretty good. She tried to become a pop tart and it didn't fly with the public, and now she too is on the Surf N Turf Circuit.

Creedence Clearwater Revisited. Yeah, Tom Fogerty is dead, and founder, singer, songwriter and guitarist John Fogerty won't go near them, but Stu Cook and Doug Clifford have been on the circuit the better part of the last two decades.

Journey. Actually, these guys can sell out ampitheatres, but they also work the casino circuit. The greatest part of the new (and Steve Perry-less) band is that they hired the spot-on singer of a Journey tribute band to front Journey.

Bret Michaels. The Poison lead singer parlayed success on VH1's Rock of Love into a tour, stopping mainly at the casinos.

Kansas tours with an orchestra, and sometimes charge up to $75 a seat.

And there are literally hundreds more bands you've heard out there, in the great American night, hurtling on buses to their next gig up the interstate.
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"It's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care."

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One of the dozens of excellent quotes from the film Office Space.
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Song: Tennessee Stud by Doc Watson with The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

Doc Watson's Tennessee Stud is one of my favorite songs of all time. Doc did a stunning rendition of the song on the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's landmark album in the early 70's.



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My last poetry reading...

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This was probably my last paying gig (and probably only my third, ever) reading poetry. You can see why I don't do that anymore when you see the article. I've done free ones and benefits since then (like the one I did in Greece last July), but at those, you get what you pay for. . .at this one, however, I forgot the punchline of a joke, and was completely rattled. From the first minute, I couldn't wait to escape the stage.
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Video: Johnny Cash plays A Boy Named Sue at San Quention Prison

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Jack and Keelin 1983: Contact Sheets, photos by Ed Bender

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Painting: Kev on the guitar

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The Great Molasses Flood

Leslie Jones, a Boston Herald staff photographer took this photograph of the
wreckage. [Public domain photo]

This is the kind of story you might read in Paul Bunyan, an absurdist novel or an early Woody Allen movie. But it actually happened. It has been ninety years (and a couple of months) since The Great Molasses Flood a/k/a The Boston Molasses Disaster, a/k/a The Great Boston Molasses Tragedy.

On January 11, 1919, a massive tank filled with 2.3 million gallons of molasses [1] burst. It sent an enormous wall of molasses down Commercial Street and through a quiet Boston neighborhood. This wall was traveling at about 35 miles per hour.

21 people - from age 10 to 76 - died in the flood. 150 more people were injured. Houses were destroyed, and so were the elevated railroad tracks. Streets and sidewalks were flooded.

No one ever determined just why the tank broke open. Some people speculated on the unusually warm day and others that the tanks itself was flimsily constructed. Naturally, the tank's owner The United States Industrial Alcohol Company went so far as to claim that deranged anarchists were responsible.

According to a Boston historian, Robert J. Allison, the flood's impact changed the way tanks were built and tested:

"Immediately you had this 50-foot wall of molasses which destroyed the elevated rail tracks, the fire house, and killed 21 people while creating a big mess," said Allison, who is chairman of Suffolk University's history department. "But after the flood happened, companies who made these big drums had to have different standards for safety. If the molasses tank did not explode, there could have been a big explosion in the future, perhaps something like a gasoline tank."



If you want to know more than this, Stephen Puleo wrote a book in 2004 book called "Dark Tide" [2] that goes into the disaster and its aftermath, in great depth.
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[1] In 1919, molasses was still the standard sweetener in the United States. It was also used to produce rum and ethyl alcohol. Alcohol was not only good drinking, but it was a key component in manufacturing ammunition.

[2] Puleo, Stephen (2004). Dark Tide: The Great Boston Molasses Flood of 1919. Boston, Massachusetts: Beacon Press. ISBN 0-8070-5021-0.

Alien Lore No 150 -- The Big Radio

By Jack Brummet, Alien Lore Editor

As late as the 1920s, many people (including Albert Einstein) still considered light signals as the most practical way to contact distant civilizations/The Greys (a/k/a aliens). Radio transmitters were not yet capable of focusing a beam on a distant planet. It took a 50,000 watt station, like KGO San Francisco, WOR NYC, or KIRO Seattle, to even broadcast up and down the coasts. And finally, scientists gradually became convinced that Mars did not have the conditions to support life. . . therefore, any Greys or ETs, would exist much, much further away.


It wasn't until 1959 that radio-based SETI [Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence] started to be taken seriously. Giuseppe Cocconi and Philip Morrison showed that radar transmitters of the time were powerful enough to send signals light years through space. "If we can do it, then the aliens might be doing it."

And we've been trying to speak to them ever since.

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The Zombies - video: Tell Her No

I like about five Zombies songs. I never totally bought the critical acclaim for Odyssey and Oracle. It's kind of like Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica, where after you listen once or twice, all you can say is huh? I fit them in with other bands like Paul Revere, or Herman's Hermits, who also recorded up to 10 really good songs. Here's one of them.
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Arguing on the internet

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I've received a lot of weird mail on All This Is That over the last four years. Love letters, letters demanding I remove something offensive to someone somewhere, hate mail, insanely argumentative emails that totally missed that what they are reacting to is parody/satire (like a great deal of the extreme statements printed here), and the usual offers and blog spamming. The weirdest stuff, of course, I ignore. I have been sucked into the morass of some pretty stupid debates. I usually avoid them. . .except with those who actually still seem to have even a marginal grip on reality.

The ISS website has some great tips. . .a virtual toolbook for winning internet arguments:

To make up for your lack of research and knowledge, use big words:

Opponent: Saying gays can't march is in direct conflict with the Constitution.
You: Your claims are trefilonious and scadlidiously out of tremdemnation.

Don't be swayed, and even if you are, don't show it.

Opponent: So you see, "The Simpsons" is still quite a relevant show, certainly more so than Family Guy.
You: Nevermind, this is stupid.

Ignore what other people have to say.

You: So you want solders to march into your house and eat your food?
Opponent: The Third Amendment isn't even relevant anymore.
Someone else: He's right, there haven't been enemy soldiers on U.S. soil in 150 years, the possibility of it happening now is almost impossible ever since the creation of the National Guard. You: So you want enemy soldiers sleeping in your bed?

Act like you're satisfied with your point, then leave before hearing your opponent's retort.

You: All the fuck Maddox does is write about how much he hates stuff, oh real funny, He's a fuckin' genius! I'm outta here.
Opponent: Um, did he seriously just leave the chatroom?
Someone else: Yeah.

Always have the last word, even if it doesn't really fit the discussion.

"You: So I guess we can agree to disagree?
Opponent: sure.
You:....shithead

Ask a question you know is unanswerable.

You: I just don't see what's so great about it.
Opponent: Red Son is so brilliant because it's a hypothetical story that asks a cool question: What if Superman landed in the Ukraine instead of Kansas?

You: If you lived in the Ukraine would you still think it was so brilliant?
Opponent: ?????What?????

Point out misspelled or uncapitalized words in your opponent's argument.

Opponent: Tim Burton's batman was way better than The Dark Knight.
You: Says the guy who can't even capitalize "Batman," and technically, "The Dark Knight" goes in quotes, dumbass. Who taught you English?

Act like your opponent doesn't understand what you're saying.

You: I'm just saying that Superman would totally beat Shazam in a fight.
Opponent: So you think Shazam is weaker that Superman, I know.
You: You obviously don't understand what I'm saying.

The Big Big Planet Blog has an article, "How to win Internet arguments." Here is one of their suggestions (and one I have repeatedly employed here, along with the Nazi suggestion below):

"Group your opponents into large collectives and give them names (for e.g. “the anti-war camp”, “pro-war people”, “the opposition”, “the media”, “abortionists”). Then whenever necessary, you can bring up the less intelligent quotes previously made by other members of their group to re-refute."

Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka writing at Something Awful, posted a piece years ago, titled "How to Win Any Argument On the Internet." There were four precepts he expands upon:

• NEVER DEFEND YOUR OWN POINTS (just attack the other person's argument over and over and over)


• CLAIM YOU WORK IN WHATEVER FIELD YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT.


• IF LOSING AN ARGUMENT, FEIGN FRUSTRATION AND THEN CLAIM YOU'RE BLOCKING THE PERSON. ("Every person on the Internet harbors a secret fear of having their communications blocked by somebody, particularly when they're devastating that person in an argument").


• AT SOME POINT IN TIME, CLAIM THE OTHER PERSON IS A NAZI. ("Every, and I repeat EVERY Internet argument should involve at least one comparison to either Hitler or the Nazis").

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Headshot: Kevin Curran

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Kev must have given this to me sometime in the early to mid-80's. It *seems* to be an outtake from a photo session for a headshot during his acting days (and what I wouldn't give to be able to post his appearance on Days of our Lives I think it was).
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