Ex-Governor Palin riding low in the water & high in the polls

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
& Jack Brummet, Social Mores & Ethics Editor

Holy S***t!    People laughed when Jack wrote a year and a half ago that Sarah Palin had a serious shot at succeeding President Barack Obama--after one term.  Pablo laughed, and didn't take his jabbering as half-serious...it was just Jack being contrarian Jack.   But then, a few months later, the Teabag movement began gathering momentum, Sarah Palin had sold millions of books, and piled away millions of dollars. She was making highly paid speeches.  She's been racing around the country and beating the drum for teabagger-approved candidates. 

This recent Gallup Poll raised the collective hairs on our necks. 

We haven't seen any recent Palin-Obama head to head polls, but this is feeling more than a little spooky.  The juggernaut we all thought would blow itself out by now is still picking up steam.  Even Levi is back on the bus.
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Presidential Succession, now, and then. . .

By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor

I'm pretty sure my fascination with Presidential succession began sometime in about 1973, when it became clear that we would actually experience once.  After the death of FDR, Harry Truman worked to clean up the succession system.  And mostly it was a good job.  We got through the JFK assassination; we got through the Nixon succession relatively unscathed. 

Things got a little weird after the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan, but only because the Secretary of State, Al Haig, misspoke:  "I'm in control here."  This was a tempest in a teapot, since Haig knew from his days as Nixon's Chief of Staff exactly what the order and protocol of succession was.  Since then, all has been more or less, well.  I'll admit, 'though, that the line up during President Bush's eight year term was spooky, largely because it could have catapulted Dick Cheney into the Oval Office.  That being said, that was probably not nearly as gut-wrenching as the four long years Dan Quayle was just one heartbeat away from the Presidency. 

In the list that follows, I have also added the succession counterparts from the George W. Bush administration.  The lists don't quite match up anymore, since the Homeland Security Secretary is no longer in the top ten.

Potential successors to President Barack. H. Obama:

1 Vice President Joe Biden (VP Dick Cheney in the Bush years)
2 Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (House Speaker Dennis Hastert in the Bush years)
3 President pro tempore of the Senate Daniel Inouye (Senate President Pro Tem Ted Stevens in the Bush Years...wait...isn't he doing time now?)
4 Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton (Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in the Bush years)
5 Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner (Treasury Secretary John Snow under GWB)
6 Secretary of Defense Robert Gates (Donald Rumseld during the Bush years...how Rummy as Pres is such a toe curling prospect, I don't even like to think about what have happened had that went down).
7 Attorney General Eric Holder (Attorney General Alberto Gonzales during the Bush reign...wait...isn't he in jail too?)
8 Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar (No. 8 slot was formerly held by Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff)
9 Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack (Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton under Bush)
10 Secretary of Commerce Gary Locke (Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns under W).
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Opening 2012 dustup: Romney v. Palin

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
on assignment in New Orleans

Yesterday, a Romney insider told Time Magazine that they "do not believe Sarah Palin is a ’serious human being,'."  Politico called someone in the Ex-Alaska Governor's camp, where they were told that comment was “frankly immature."  Romney more or less Tweeted an apology.

I suspect there will be lots of great back and forth between the Palin camp and all the (so far) many other candidates.  Ex-Governor Palin is definitely on steadier ground when she can have the ghost-writers cook up her press releases.  But, I for one, mainly look forward to her debate performances.  Read more at one of my favorite political snark sites:  Wonkette. 

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BP's incontinence

By Pablo Fanque

National Affairs Editor

I worked for a year in college as an orderly in a nursing home.  I know something about bowel management.  For the last three months we have witnessed and been victimized by a savage case of mismanaged corporate & government bowel management. 

BP is incontinent, and only yesterday were they able to staunch the flow, momentarily.  It looks like Plan M may actually work.  For the first time in three months, the oil filling the Gulf has stopped.  Fortunately, incontinence in holes drilled several miles down through the sea floor, through a mile of water, may be corkable.  Alas, such is not the fate of home sapiens experiencing incontinence. You just can't put a cork in it.

If this latest corking scheme actually does what it's supposed to do, the sea floor doesn't crack or open a gaping sinkhole or port from Hell, and if the relief wells they've been feverishly digging actually work. . .well, we can at least call it over and maybe get serious about the enormous damage the oil leak wrought upon the southeast already.  Maybe people will even start thinking about how we can use less oil.  Right.

BP finally stops oil spewing from Gulf gusher
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Mea Culpa: we did it too--dozens of references on All This Is That equating George Bush or the GOP to Brown Shirts, Stalin, The Ku Klux Klan, and Adolf Hitler

By Jack Brummet, Social Mores, Poetry, Painting, and Paranormal Editor

& Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

A billboard created by an Iowa tea- bagger group compares President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and Vladimir Lenin,  It is drawing heat from just about every political group and wing...even  from fellow tea party activists who find it offensive, a waste of money, or both.

The North Iowa Tea Party put up the billboard in downtown Mason City, IA last week. The sign shows photographs of (the actually fairly traditional) Democrat Obama,  the Nazi Hitler and Bolshevik/Communist Lenin labeled "Democratic Socialism," "National Socialism," and "Marxist Socialism."  Underneath the photos is the phrase, "Radical leaders prey on the fearful & naive."

The co-founder of the 200-person group said the billboard was intended to send an anti-socialist message. He later admitted yesterday that the message may have gotten lost...what with the references to Lenin and the Nazis.    Right.

Who are we to cast stones?  Neither of the authors of this article were particularly surprised to learn how many times their works on this site invoked Gulags, Nazis, the KGB, the Klan, Pol Pot, The National Front, and other hate and extremist groups. . .and almost every one of these references was directed to President George W. Bush, his minions, and policies.

We'll admit that we deplore the implications of the billboard.  Politically, however, we are utterly baffled why this has become a firestorm.  That's politics, pals. Neither of us find the billboard offensive.  This is just politics being played out.  McGovern took the same kinds of shots in his '72 Presidential run. 

Get over this Democrats...we have way bigger fights to fight.  Why we really can't throw stones in this case--a sample of our postings during the George Bush years:

• President Bush lights up the "c***suckers" in the press
• President George Bush 'channels' Adolph Hitler during Iowa speech (includes audio clip)
• Bush and Abramoff captured together in explicit photographs
• Revelation: President Now Suffers Enuresis--More Trouble Every Day
• George Bush sees ghosts
• Jimmy Carter Reams Bush: Bush Responds Like A Wounded Swamp Sow
• President Bush finally beats Nixon & becomes the most unpopular ...
• Former Press Secretary McClellan says Bush, Cheney, Rove, Libby Lied
• Laura Bush puts the mark on George Bush/President Bush rumored to ...
• Retired General George Washington Lashes Out At President Bush
• President Bush drunk at Camp David
• Alien Lore No. 65 - George Bush, Dick Cheney & The Greys
• President Bush: "Stop doing this shit!"
• President Bush, remembering images of her tush, makes a move on ...
• President Bush, reacting to yesterday's article on All This Is ...
• Presidents Bush and Chirac, and Queen Elizabeth II F*** For Peace!
• Priests to Purify Archaeological Site After President Bush Visit
• Former President George HW Bush excoriates his son's war
• President Hugo Chávez: Hang President Bush First
• George Bush sees ghosts
• Priests to Purify Archaeological Site After President Bush's Visit

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Random, amusing, and/or disturbing photos I've found or been sent over the last couple of months...

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The hidden message in President Obama's signature: a penis?

As many people and sites have recently pointed out, President Obama's signature, rotated 90 degrees, closely resembles a penis.

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Colton Harris-Moore's Death Wish

For over two years Colton Harris-Moore stayed about seven steps ahead of The Heat.  He spent years hiding out in the San Juan Islands, 50 miles up the coast from Seattle.  He broke into dozens (actually, probably hundreds?) of houses and businesses, stole cars, powerboats and quite a few airplanes, and somehow, he acquired a rep as a 21st-century folk hero. He was not a Robin Hood, but a guy who thumbed his nose at cops and prosecutors.  In the end, Colton Harris-Moore's fame probably led to his downfall.  When authorities knew he was in The Bahamas, they papered the islands with flyers of his likeness.  And then yesterday, the police found him in a stolen boat in very shallow water.  He tried to outrace them, but in the end, he was caught.

After he crash landed a plane stolen in the U.S. near the coast of the Bahamas, broke into a few businesses and grabbed a few boats, they made a D.N.A. match.  Witnesses on the Bahamian island of Eleuthera recognized the 19-year-old Barefoot Bandit from the flyers and called the cops, who nailed him today, (Sunday) after a high-speed boat chase.  What was he thinking?  A six foot five American blending into a country where people were mostly Bahama natives a foot shorter than Harris-Moore?  He was far better off hiding on Puget Sound, where presumably friends and family leant a helping hand.  Never emerging in daylight seemed like the sensible move.  On the other hand, maybe it was a death wish.  After he branched out from the Pacific Northwest, he seemed to get increasingly sloppy in the midwest and the Caribbean.  He may have been tired of running.  It looks like he will do some time in the Bahamas, and then be shipped back to the U.S., where there are dozens of cases pending against him in several states.

He does have John Henry Brown, the criminal defense lawyer, as his counsel.  But I don't think he'll slip out of this one...
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Alien Lore No. 175 --> Flights over China diverted as a UFO is spotted in the air over the Zhejiang province

Thanks to our regular paranormal tipster, Jeff Clinton, for spotting this one.

According to an article in China Daily, a UFO disrupted air traffic over the Zhejiang province, Hangzhou, late Wednesday, the city's government said Thursday. Xiaoshan Airport was closed after the UFO was detected at around 9 pm,  Flights were rerouted to airports in Ningbo and Wuxi, according to an airport spokesman. The airport later resumed operations.  More details would be revealed after an investigation, according to the spokesman.  Right.

At 11 pm on Wednesday, a Chinese citizen blogged three entries announcing the airport's closure.  The posts were soon deleted.  China Daily reports:  "He posted an apology at midnight, saying the news had not been confirmed and asking those who had republished his earlier entries to delete them." 

It sounds like the citizen had a visitor.
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Alien Lore. No. 174 - Happy Belated UFO Day a) "Proof" that aliens do exist, that we met them on the moon, and how they asked us not to return, and b) The New York Times reports no one seems to really care much anymore about UFO sightings

First,  happy and belated UFO Day. UFO Day inspired John Schwartz to publish an article on the decline of  UFO sightings (Out of This World, Out of Our Minds).  The New York Times printed the article last weekend.

Contrary to popular alien lore, NASA did go to the moon, but were told to never come back. Thanks to Jeff Clinton for pointing out this video, which, naturally, delves deeply into conspiracy and cover-up theories.

"...sightings rarely capture the popular imagination. Now that cellphone cameras are all but ubiquitous, there isn’t a moment that can’t be snapped — so if the truth really were out there, we’d see it. And we haven’t."

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RyanAir liked our suggestions so much they now propose pay toilets and standing room "seating" (but will not be offering the Crisco)

By Jack Brummet, Social Mores Editor
& Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

Earlier this year, All This Is That published a satire piece about an airline (Spirit Air) that was about to begin charging for seat belts and restroom use.  Four years ago, we published another satire "Airlines consider offering standing room and Crisco in lieu of seats ."  What earlier seemed completely absurd  has come to pass. 

" 'As you know,' the source told our national affairs editor Pablo Fanque, 'we have positioned ourselves as the 'ultra low-cost' airline (ULCC). It wasn't much of a leap to go from charging for carry-on bags to charging for other, well, services.' The source disclosed that Spirit Airlines is about to impose a modest ($5.00) fee for seat belt rentals on all flights."

The Daily Mail recently reported that RyanAir is thinking about not only pay toilets, but is also considering standing room "seating."  Ryanair travellers would "perch on a narrow shelf and lean against a flat padded backboard. They would be restrained with a strap stretching over their shoulder, the budget airline said." 

Ryanair plans to replace the back ten rows of seats on its fleet with 15 rows of vertical seating.  In addition, the airline, at the same time, announced they will begin charging a fee for use of the toilets on their aircraft.

All This Is That pages cited in this article:   

http://jackbrummet.blogspot.com/2006/04/airlines-consider-offering-standing.html
http://jackbrummet.blogspot.com/2010/04/spirit-airlines-to-institute-pay.html

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Digital Art by Jack Brummet: Hotspot!

click to enlarge

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