Beach towels!

Steve Jobs - another photo from the iPad rollout

Matt Smith's fantastic one-man show, All My Children, a textbook on the Games People Play

Last night, we went to see Matt Smith's one-man show, All My Children, at the theatre at Richard Hugo House in Seattle.  It was fantastic!  And highly recommended.

The story of Max Poth takes "what-might-have-been to extreme lengths: he tracks down the now-grown children of long-ago girlfriends—and claims to have fathered them all. What starts as a strange lark soon takes on a life of its own."   There are hilarious, touching, and creepy moments.  The fascinating/bizarre, plot is propelled by subtle and overt and outrageous humor, funny asides, and riveting dialog.  A surprise ending came out of nowhere and tied the show up with a bow, rolling up the previously disparate plot elements together in an affirmation of humanity and the games people play.  Great writing, great acting, great directing. 

This show is only on one more weekend--go see it!  Get tickets quick, since these first two weekends were sell-outs.  Go to Richard Hugo House; they'll hook you up with seats for $20/$10- students. 
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Thanks, angels...for donating to the Muscular Dystrophy Association fundraiser (and keeping Jack out of jail)

Thanks everyone for your generous donations to my "bail" as part of the executive lock-up fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I hit my goal of $2,400 yesterday. You guys are the best. Thanks from me, and the kids. I'll only have to do an hour in stir before I can use my get out of jail card. I'll try to post photos of my arrest by the Kirkland Police when it happens (June 17th).

If you would still like to donate, please do!  Jump here to make an online contribution.

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The Guatemalan Sinkhole

Wow.  The Guatemala City sinkhole is now estimated to be 18 meters wide and 100 meters deep, in short, about 60 feet wide, and over 350 feet deep.  So, a 737 couldn't quite fit in the hole, but a three story building dropped to the bottom.  This is a National Geographic photo of the hole.

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Peace: something to shoot for

The sole recording of Hitler in private converation...(with English transcript)

Thanks to Jeff Clinton for this news tip!  This is the only known recording of Adolph Hitler speaking privately, in conversation.  He absolutely did not allow recordings.  This one was somehow recorded,  with Mannerheim, Ryti, Hitler, and Keitel in a meeting in a railway car. Part of the original tape survived and has been restored, and of course, posted at various ports of call on the internet.   It's really weird hearing Hitler behind closed doors.  Most other recordings we have of him are when he is in a frenzy, shouting invective at rallies and speeches. This is a whole different person, but yeah, it's still Hitler. 

What Hitler says to Mannerheim is surprising--he claims  that Germany intended to attack West already in 1939 but weather postponed it to 1940.

Hitler also claims that the East offensive was delayed by difficulties in North Africa and the Balkans; in 1940 Germany couldn't have defended the critically important Rumanian oil fields against Soviet Union's attack; that's why Hitler bought time by prolonging the negotiations with Stalin and encouraged the Finns to do the same.


Hitler: ...a very serious danger, perhaps the most serious one - it's whole extent we can only now judge. We did not ourselves understand - just how strong this state [the USSR] was armed.

Mannerheim: No, we hadn't thought of this.

Hitler: No, I too, no.

Mannerheim: During the Winter War - during the Winter War we had not even thought of this. Of course...

Hitler: (Interrupting) Yes.

Mannerheim: But so, how they - in reality - and now there is no doubt all they had - what they had in their stocks!

Hitler: Absolutely, This is - they had the most immense armaments that, uh, people could imagine. Well - if somebody had told me that a country - with...(Hitler is interrupted by the sound of a door opening and closing.) If somebody had told me a nation could start with 35,000 tanks, then I'd have said: "You are crazy!"

Mannerheim: Thirty-five?

Hitler: Thirty-five thousand tanks.

Another Voice In Background: Thirty-five thousand! Yes!

Hitler: We have destroyed - right now - more than 34,000 tanks. If someone had told me this, I'd have said: "You!" If you are one of my generals had stated that any nation has 35,000 tanks I'd have said: "You, my good sir, you see everything twice or ten times. You are crazy; you see ghosts." This I would have deemed possible. I told you earlier we found factories, one of them at Kramatorskaja, for example, Two years ago there were just a couple hundred [tanks]. We didn't know anything. Today, there is a tank plant, where - during the first shift a little more than 30,000, and 'round the clock a little more than 60,000, workers would have labored - a single tank plant! A gigantic factory! Masses of workers who certainly, lived like animals and...

Another Voice In Background: (Interrupting) In the Donets area?

Hitler: In the Donets area. (Background noises from the rattling of cups and plates over the exchange.)

Mannerheim: Well, if you keep in mind they had almost 20 years, almost 25 years of - freedom to arm themselves...

Hitler: (Interrupting quietly) It was unbelievable.

Mannerheim: And everything - everything spent on armament.

Hitler: Only on armament.

Mannerheim: Only on armament!

Hitler: (Sighs) Only - well, it is - as I told your president [Ryte] before - I had no idea of it. If I had an idea - then I would have been even more difficult for me, but I would have taken the decision [to invade] anyhow, because - there was no other possibility. It was - certain, already in the winter of '39/ '40, that the war had to begin. I had only this nightmare - but there is even more! Because a war on two fronts - would have been impossible - that would have broken us. Today, we see more clearly - than we saw at that time - it would have broken us. And my whole - I originally wanted to - already in the fall of '39 I wanted to conduct the campaign in the west - on the continuously bad weather we experienced hindered us.

Our whole armament - you know, was - is a pure good weather armament. It is very capable, very good, but it is unfortunately just a good-weather armament. We have seen this in the war. Our weapons naturally were made for the west, and we all thought, and this was true 'till that time, uh, it was the opinion from the earliest times: you cannot wage war in winter. And we too, have, the German tanks, they weren't tested, for example, to prepare them for winter war. Instead we conducted trials to prove it was impossible to wage war in winter. That is a different starting point [than the Soviet's]. In the fall of 1939 we always faced the question. I desperately wanted to attack, and I firmly believed we could finish France in six weeks.

However, we faced the question of whether we could move at all - it was raining continuously. And I know the French area myself very well and I too could not ignore the opinions, of many of my generals that, we - probably - would not have had the élan, that our tank arm would not have been, effective, that our air force could not been effective from our airfields because of the rain.

I know northern France myself. You know, I served in the Great War for four years. And - so the delay happened. If I had in '39 eliminated France, then world history would have changed. But I had to wait 'till 1940, and unfortunately it wasn't possible before May. Only on the 10th of May was the first nice day - and on the 10th of May I immediately attacked. I gave the order to attack on the 10th on the 8th. And - then we had to, conduct this huge transfer of our divisions from the west to the east.

First the occupation of - then we had the task in Norway - at the same time we faced - I can frankly say it today - a grave misfortune, namely the - weakness of, Italy. Because of - first, the situation in North Africa, then, second, because of the situation in Albania and Greece - a very big misfortune. We had to help. This meant for us, with one small stoke, first - the splitting of our air force, splitting our tank force, while at the same time we were preparing, the, tank arm in the east. We had to hand over - with one stroke, two divisions, two whole divisions and a third was then added - and we had to replace continuous, very severe, losses there. It was - bloody fighting in the desert.

This all naturally was inevitable, you see. I had a conversation with Molotov [Soviet Minister] at that time, and it was absolutely certain that Molotov departed with the decision to begin a war, and I dismissed the decision to begin a war, and I dismissed him with the decision to - impossible, to forestall him. There was - this was the only - because the demands that man brought up were clearly aimed to rule, Europe in the end. (Practically whispering here.) Then I have him - not publicly...(fades out).

Already in the fall of 1940 we continuously faced the question, uh: shall we, consider a break up [in relations with the USSR]? At that time, I advised the Finnish government, to - negotiate and, to gain time and, to act dilatory in this matter - because I always feared - that Russia suddenly would attack Romania in the late fall - and occupy the petroleum wells, and we would have not been ready in the late fall of 1940. If Russia indeed had taken Romanian petroleum wells, than Germany would have been lost. It would have required - just 60 Russian divisions to handle that matter.

In Romania we had of course - at that time - no major units. The Romanian government had turned to us only recently - and what we did have there was laughable. They only had to occupy the petroleum wells. Of course, with our weapons I could not start a, war in September or October. That was out of the question. Naturally, the transfer to the east wasn't that far advanced yet. Of course, the units first had to reconsolidate in the west. First the armaments had to be taken care of because we too had - yes, we also had losses in our campaign in the west. It would have been impossible to attack - before the spring of 19, 41. And if the Russians at that time - in the fall of 1940 - had occupied Romania - taken the petroleum wells, then we would have been, helpless in 1941.

Another Voice In Background: Without petroleum...

Hitler: (Interrupting) We had huge German production: however, the demands of the air force, our Panzer divisions - they are really huge. It is level of consumption that surpasses the imagination. And without the addition of four to five million tons of Romanian petroleum, we could not have fought the war - and would have had to let it be - and that was my big worry. Therefore I aspired to, bridge the period of negotiations 'till we would be strong enough to, counter those extortive demands [from Moscow] because - those demands were simply naked extortion's. They were extortion's. The Russians knew we were tied up in the west. They could really extort everything from us. Only when Molotov visited - then - I told him frankly that the demands, their numerous demands, weren't acceptable to us. With that the negotiations came to an abrupt end that same morning.

There were four topics. The one topic that, involved Finland was, the, freedom to protect themselves from the Finnish threat, he said. [I said] You do not want to tell me Finland threatens you! But he said: "In Finland it is - they who take action against the, friends, of the Soviet Union. They would [take action] against [our] society, against us - they would continuously, persecute us and, a great power cannot be threatened by a minor country."

I said: "Your, existence isn't threatened by Finland! That is, you don't mean to tell me..."

Mannerheim: (Interrupting) Laughable!

Hitler: "...that your existence is threatened by Finland?" Well [he said] there was a moral - threat being made against a great power, and what Finland was doing, that was a moral - a threat to their moral existence. Then I told him we would not accept a further war in the Baltic area as passive spectators. In reply he asked me how we viewed our position in, Romania. You know, we had given them a guarantee. [He wanted to know] if that guarantee was directed against Russia as well? And that time I told him: "I don't think it is directed at you, because I don't think you have the intention of attacking Romania. You have always stated that Bessarabia is yours, but that you have - never stated that you want to attack Romania!"

"Yes," he told me, but he wanted to know more precisely if this guarantee...(A door opens and the recording ends.) .

As it turned out, someone on Hitler's staff or Guards figured out about the recording....but somehow the tape was preserved.
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Famous Jacks, including an All This Is That editor

click to enlarge

I never get tired of this one. I'm the least famous Jack on the list by an order of great magnitude, but there it is nestled in between two other Jacks.  Clearly internet related hits and searches figured in their selections

Jack Black
Jack Brummet
Jack Connector
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jack brummet drawing: Faces No. 172

click to enlarge
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The Supremes Chisel Away At Miranda Protection

By Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor



Voting along predictable lines, a five-knucklehead majority of the U.S. Supreme Court has voted to further water down the Miranda Rights of suspects. 


“The right to remain silent” actually--now--requires you to speak.  The Supremes ruled 5-4 today that criminal suspects must explicitly tell police interrogators they wish to remain silent in order to receive Miranda protections. 

Writing the dissenting opinion, Justice Sonia Sotomayor said that the decision “turns Miranda upside down . . . suspects will be legally presumed to have waived their rights even if they have given no clear expression of their intent to do so.”

More police Identikit faces I made in Faces 3.0

Another batch of composite faces I created in my police Identikit software.  OK, sure, they're not quite as spooky as the usual suspects you see on wanted posters...click the image to enlarge...

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A semi-literate reader takes us and some other readers to the woodshed over a 2006 article on "An open letter to my teen-age son"

One of the coolest parts of having a long-running blog is that the posts are available and findable on the internet years later.  There are probably 20 or so posts we've written on subjects that appear in few other places on the internet.  Some of these articles come up at the top of internet searches (this one is the no. 1 result in a google search), and people often comment on articles from many years ago. 

"An Open Letter To My Teenage Son" is one of those.  I remember hearing this on AM radio many times when it came out (in late 1967).  It starts out half-rational--even inspirational--and descends into reactionary gibberish and hate when he talks about the war and "draft-dodging."

Click here to see our article, the "lyrics," and a link to the actual "song."

A couple of days ago, someone--anonymous, of course--left two comments on this post and on the comments about the post. 

"all you people must not believe in the flag or what rights you have that the military gave you by fighting for you damn rights so you don't like it there are other countrys that you can go to and then you can go to heckes after ward"


"well as for the youngster from Saterday July 12th 2008. that is becuase you were not brought up right i have listen to this song from almost day one and it brought chills to my back and its still doing it today so if i was your father i would say good get the f out. Thats just what i felt like"
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Video: A man reunites with old gorilla friend

Another Jeff Clinton find...as he wrote, "Man reunites with gorilla after five years. Bring a handkerchief."



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Thanking the vets on memorial day (especially my two favorite vets).

Can we say Happy Memorial Day, or should you? But then you can't wish someone a glum day either. In any case, thanks vets, and especially my mom (Marines, World War II, still sharp and cranky at 86) and my dad John 2nd, (both in the Army and the Navy in WW II, died in 1964).

Colum and Del. . .way back

A photo of Colum and Del by our friend David Grosten taken around 15 years ago.

Click to enlarge...










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jack brummet face drawings: Nos. 28 and 32

Click drawings to enlarge...

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Wow. Bill Withers sings a stunning song at the Rumble In The Jungle

This song is a real knockout.  He sang this at the concert before The Rumble In The Jungle in Zaire, where Muhammed Ali knocked out George Foreman.

A couple of interesting Bill Withers facts:  1) he was making toilet seats for the Boeing Company when he was working on his first album, and 2) in 1985, he just stopped making music (publicly anyway).


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Orgy In The Pantry

Orgy In The Pantry
By Jack Brummet

Soft pulses murmur in the distance:
Muffled voices murmur counterpoint music,
Sing-song transactions hum
Through wood and plaster, doors and walls.
The push and pull of iambic conversation,
And the percussive boom of laughter
Skein a polyrhythmic framework
On a symphony of voices.

A rustling sound upstairs
Wakes me.
I get out of bed
And edge up the stairs.
The sounds pull into focus
And the parts emerge.
Heavy breathing, moaning,
A rhythmic thumping, groans and giggles.

I shuffle to the pantry
And ease the door open,
Walking between nylons, belts, a bra,
T-shirts, striped trousers, a housedress,
Skirts, vests, shoes and socks,
Camisoles. panties, and sweaters,
A toque, monocle, and top hat.

I step in and nearly trip on
Mr. Peanut, lying on his back
With a Grand Coulee grin on his mug
And Sara Lee in fishnet stockings on top,
Rubbing peanut butter
On her breasts and nether parts.
Snap, Crackle and Pop are naked
On the floor, daisy chained
In various conjugations
With the Campbell Soup Twins.

Aunt Jemima and Chef Boy-Ar-Dee
Are in the corner, half undressed,
Staring into each others eyes
And sharing a bottle of wine.
Duncan Hines is against the wall
Watching. . .getting solo kicks,
Digging the scene at the voyeur remove
Where watching trumps participation.

Uncle Ben and Speedy Alka Seltzer
Sip mint juleps, watching the Doublemint Twins'
Messopotamian strip-tease.

Mr. Clean and Tony The Tiger are oiled up,
Greek style, grappling on the pine floorboards.
Enveloped in a churning cloud of flour,
Betty Crocker's housedress is hiked up around her hips,
Arms on the Pilsbury Doughboy's shoulders.
The Jolly Green Giant and Mrs. Butterworth
Waltz around the pantry
And Mrs. B's feet never touch the floor.

Captain Crunch, Colonel Sanders,
Bazooka Joe and The Frito Bandido
Sit in a circle, passing a bong
And laughing at the show.

I don't know if I'm dreaming or awake,
If I should go to sleep or wake up,
Quit dreaming I'm awake
Or quit imagining I'm asleep.
I don't know whether to
Spectate, participate, or abrogate.
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Help Jack stay out of jail by raising his bail!

I NEED YOUR HELP!               
I'm going behind bars for "GOOD"  
PLEASE HELP BAIL ME OUT!

Your donation is my key to freedom! I need $2,400 to get out. The good news, aside from getting me off the streets a while, is that we're providing help and hope to kids and adults served by MDA in the Seattle area, and nation-wide.  We've raised a lot of money for MDA in the last week, and we're about $250 from our goal.  Give me a hand here and push me over the edge...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Click here to donate and help me out.
 
Thanks for making a difference!
---o0o---

Poem: Explosions

Every cell in the body
is replaced every seven years
I'm no longer the Jack

I was in 2003
poems and explosions
go off in my skull

as each cell fades
my brain rewires itself
and the new circuits

begin to sing
in a synaptic chorus line
and I don't know

if I will wake up
in the morning
as Adolph Hitler,

Bishop Tutu
or something
in between.
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The Long Winters and Grand Hallway

Saw a great show at the Crocodile last night.  It's the first time I'd been since the rehab/reopening.  It's so much better now for viewing shows--we were in the balcony...a small bar overlooking the stage.  Nice.

The Long Winters, particularly John Roderick were good, and Roderick, as he always is, was hilarious.  They play a hard driving kind of power pop, and very few downtempo tunes.

Grand Hallway

I was really knocked out by Grand Hallway.  A really interesting, energetic, and different band that;s been getting a lot of buzz, and great notices at South by Southwest.

Meth, Porn on the taxpayer's nickel, "free" tickets and other graft: how would the off-shore drilling watchdogs ever find time to regulate?

By Pablo Fanque

National Affairs Editor

The Inspector General released a report today that details major abuses, graft, and corruption at the agency that "oversees" off-shore oil drilling.    The Minerals Management Service abuses are shocking but hardly surprising.  As we've seen in dozens of other cozy relationships between government employees and vendors, the lines rapidly become blurred as the employees *cough* regulators nestle snugly in the pockets of the dirtbags they were hired to control.   Interestingly the IG, Mary Kendall notes that "we discovered that the individuals involved in the fraternizing and gift exchange both government and industry have often known one another since childhood."

Curiously, the MMS is located in Denver--about as far as you can possibly be from the sites you are charged with overseeing. 

None of this is new.   The previous Inspector General--Earl Devaney--in 2008 reported a "culture of ethical failure" and numerous conflicts of interest at the minerals agency.

You can read the entire story of the new Inspector General's report here, on WKRG.com.

"Staff members at an agency that oversees offshore drilling accepted tickets to sports events, lunches and other gifts from oil and gas companies and used government computers to view pornography, according to an Interior Department report alleging a culture of cronyism between regulators and the industry.

"In at least one case, an inspector for the Minerals Management Service admitted using crystal methamphetamine and said he might have been under the influence of the drug the next day at work, according to the report by the acting inspector general of the Interior Department.

"The report cites a variety of violations of federal regulations and ethics rules at the agency's Louisiana office. Previous inspector general investigations have focused on inappropriate behavior by the royalty-collection staff in the agency's Denver office."
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We're almost there--$300 will push us over the top!

Wow. Thanks to everyone for your generous donations to the MDA, and to keeping my out of jail. I'm already on the home stretch--it's not too late if you still want to kick in a few sheckels or piastre...

https://www.joinmda.org/MyLockup/MyHomepage/tabid/154711/Participant/jack/Default.aspx

We only have three hundred dollars to go...step on up!

jack

Help me stay put of jail--donate to the MDA today!

MDA fundraising update: 

As you may recall, I have just been arrested and will be going to jail (I know, some of you are thinking "what took so long?") for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) Executive Lock-up.   Don’t bother asking what crime I have committed – it’s not really that important. And most of you probably have a good guess. If I raise bail of $2,400 before the Lock-Up, they will go easy on me, but I need your HELP to post my bond. Don’t let them haul out the rubber hoses, or “tase me ‘bro!”

Your donation will help MDA continue research into the cause and the possible cure of the 43 neuromuscular diseases they cover. Your support of the MDA Lock-Up will also help MDA provide medical equipment, clinic visits, support groups and a much-needed week of MDA Summer Camp for the families served by the Association.




If my FB pals, blog readers, friends and family each kick in a few bucks, we'll make my bail. Please donate $5, $20, $100, or even $1,000. It's 100% tax deductible. If we all pull together, I can avoid bunking with cellmates like Tiny, Psycho, or El Cuchillo.

Jump to the link  https://www.joinmda.org/MyLockup/MyHomepage/tabid/154711/Participant/jack/Default.aspx and donate heavily and often!

If you donate $500, I'll come to your house with a staff of three and make and serve a four-course dinner with wine and beer pairings for you and seven of your friends--Paella, North Carolina barbecue, Mexican Nayarit/Jalisco, Italian, Vietnamese, or NW cuisine--you name it--carnivore, gluten-free, vegan...whatever works for you.   This offer will expire after two people take advantage of it--so hurry!

Thank you ever so much. I know you’re going to push me over the top. And, hey, Jerry Lewis thanks you too. /jack

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Adios, Senator Eject Arlen Specter

by Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor

Adios Senator Arlen Specter. His desperate Hail Mary, of course, failed.

We haven't much cottoned to the Senator since his relentless hectoring of Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings. But in the end, no one really likes a turncoat/rat and Specter was sent packing...

Welcome to the new Senator Elect, and a not so fond farewell to the Senator Eject.
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