Scary Santas, part 2

By Mona Goldwater, Holiday Editor

In the 1940's, Boris Karloff would dress as Santa and visit a hospital for disabled children in Baltimore.  This is Boris dressed up as Saint Nick.

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Our last hundred visitors

This map shows the 100 most recent visitors to ATIT.  The green dots represent ten visitors.

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Lord Buckley's masterwork: Scrooge

By Jack Brummet, Spoken Word Editor



Since the first time I heard it in California in 1985 [ed's note: I know it was '85, because I wrote the date I bought his "Hiporama of the classics" on the inside cover], this is my favorite Christmas story of all time (it's all in the rendition, friends). Take ten and a half minutes to listen to this. You know how the story ends, but Lord Buckley makes that ending sing hosannahs to the heavens. The Lord (a title he annointed himself with) is one of those writers and performers whose work is shot through with his love of all of us, high, low, and in between. . .



A Hip Christmas Carol
by Lord Buckley

"Yes, me, I'm Scrooge and I got all Marley's barley,
and I'm the baddest cat in all dis world.
I been studyin' all my life how to Scrooge people,
and I guarantee I done some fine work in dat direction.
"Cratchit!"

"Yes, sir."

"You busy?"

"I shorely is, sir."

"See dat you keep busy.
Don't want no danglin' wanglin' around here.
Keep everybody tight.
And tell dem two cats come in here want to get some money
I ain't givin' no money away.

"Dey messin' wit Scrooge.
I'm takin' it in. I ain't puttin' it out.
Issat clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, keep it clear. People comin' around here
wantin' my gold dat's all, tryin' to pry into my vault.
Every time I turn around somebody's tryin' to snap...

"Tell my nephew I don't want to have no dinner wid him
an' if he never comes in here again dat'll be too soon."

"I'll tell de cat."

"See dat ya do.

"I don't understand dese people who are after my gold.
I close up dis here place and den dey ...

"What, what? Yeah, let me tell you somethin else -
You think that you gonna get off Christmas day?"

"Well I was hopin', sir, dat you'd let me knock off just a little while
for Christmas Eve cause I want to go home and cool da goose."

"Well if you gonna get off Christmas Eve
you gonna have to work aaalllll day Christmas.
You hear me?"

"I hear ya, sir. I'm wid it."

"Well I guess I'll go on home here."

So Scrooge takes off and he cuts on down the street.
And the snow's blowin' and da winds is wooooooooin',
and Scrooge is goin' along in his loose soul
and his loose clothes and his hard cash box
and his big money mind goin' on in his wig
and he ding ding ding up da stairs
and he open his door and he gets inside
and he puts a double lock on da door
cause he a little bugged tonight.
He bein' sayin' "Humbug" so long, "Humbug dis," an' "Humbug dat,"
he done give himself a natural Humbug.
He's got da bug hummin' in him, see.
So he double-lock da door.

And he sit dere and all of a sudden
dere's an old bell layin' over dere in the corner
and da bell goes, "ding-ding-ding-ding"
and Scrooge say, "Whassat?"
Dang- dong. "Whassat?"
Bell started ringin' "DING DONG DOONG DOONG"
Pretty soon all da bells all over the house started ringin'
"Ding Ding Dang Dang Dong
Ring Dong Boom Boom, Ding dong,
Boom boom"

And he hear somethin'
like some chain cats are pullin'
all da chains from the chains of time
up the hill 'a strife ringing' and dinglin'
wid his whole head ringin' and dingin' wid dem chains.

And bloooop!

In come a cat, da wildest lookin' cat ya ever see in his life.
Real gone cat.
And Scrooge does a real wild take

"I know who dat stud is - dat's Marley!
I know dat's Marley!
What's he doin' here? Say, Marley?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Man, you sure chained up dere,
man, you got chainsville all over you dere!"

"Well, I put em on myself, dat's da way I lived it.
I chained myself. I hung myself up wid all dese chains, you know,
bein' parsimonious, ya understand what I mean?
I can't get 'em off now.
I been luggin' dese chains all over da country
for the past seven years."

"Dat's a long time.
What's you want wit me dere, Marley Marley?
cause I got your barley."

"I don't mess wid no barley no more.
I wish I'd given it all away when I had it
and I'm gonna tell you somethin' else, too,
I'm a spook, you know dat."

"You tellin' me. I know dat.
You a spook, man, an' I wanna get straight."

"I'm gonna tell you somethin else, too, Mr. Scroogie Scrooge,
Dere gonna be three more gas lightin' spooks comin' in to see you."

"Three more gas lightin' spooks.
Say, one spook's enough.
Can't I have 'em all at one time?"

"No. Dey comin' one at a time.
First one be eleven,
next one be twelve,
next one'll be one."

"Man, if I had known this..."

"Tell you what. You dig, Scrooge, it's what you puttin' down.
You been a real sorry cat all dis time.
You gonna be gassed now by dese spooks."

"Well, dey say if I gotta be gassed..
Ain't gonna cost me no money, is it?"

"Cost you more 'n dat, Scrooge."

"Dey ain't no more den money!"

"You find out."

Brrrrt.

And Marley split.

And old Scrooge is sittin' dere sweatin' and dinglin' danglin'.

And all of a sudden, man,
he hears some crazy wild kind of a thing goin' on.
He don't know just what it is and all of a sudden . . .

Boom

Here comes a great big fat spook,
look like takes a hundred and seventy wings
lift him off over da house top
and he's got de old beat up cat and spandly legs,
and strangly arms and pedicured eyes,
and a whole out of his skull wiggin' up a storm
and he looks at old Scrooge and he says...

Scrooge is standin' dere in the corner
he feel like a disrupted small disregarded
and unclaimed white mice midget-style,
he's sittin' over dere.

And dis spook say, "Come wid me
'cause I is The Ghost of da Christmas Past!"

And Scrooge say, "Do I hafta?"

Say, "You certainly do!"

And he got on the ghost's wing and - brrt - they took off.

And he's flyin' old Scrooge over da top of da mountain
da wind is blowin', da wind is partin' his way,
and he's lookin' down, and seein' all dese crazy scenes goin' on.

Zoom!

He goes over a few more miles
Takes him down to a sun-lit pasture.
And da sun-lit pasture's full of children,
and de're singin' and dancin' and lovin' and goin' and swingin'
and Scrooge say, "Look, look, look! Dat's me down dere!"

"Yeah, dat's you, dat's you."

"I look pretty good"

"Yeah but ya don't look good now,"
He say, "I wanna hip you gotta get yourself ?

Zoom!

He takes him over to another place
and he shows him a pretty little chick
got dimples, three dimples on each chin,
and she got three little dimpled children,
and the next little dimple on da way,
and dere's a real swingin' cat around there,
and it's a happy time,
looks like seventeen carnivals takin' off.

An' Scrooge look at dis chick and say,
"I remember dat chick. I could 'a married her once."

"Yeah, you coulda if you wasn't so tight wid your purse.
You all was thinkin' about yourself, dat's what happened."
Say, "Let me hip you further, Mister Scrooge,
Let me tell you one thing:
you better get everything straight that you wanna
and you better straighten up."

"An' take me home."

"Yeah, I will."

Brrrrm Boom

And he's home again.

So man, that was a shaker.

This whole thing, this whole thing is shakin' me up pretty bad.

He say, I want to tell you right now . . .

Boom!

Here comes another big spook

Ooooohhhh He's a wild lookin' spook.
He's a crazy lookin' spook.

He's a far-out spook, he's a gas-light spook.
He's got a gas light right on the top of his wig
goin' around like one of them dramatic ? pilot lights
in a light house and he's there gassin' up the whole scene.

He say "Come with me. I'm The Ghost of Christmas Present"

And Scrooge look around and sees
the joint is loaded with apples and bananas and oranges and,
and credalies and acralonchs and ripalips
all kinds of crazy wild grapes and crazy Chistmas scenes
and nuts and candy.

And he say, "Come wid me."

Brrrrrttt.

Done took off again,

He said "I am The Ghost of Christmas Present."
He say, "I'm gonna show you what's goin' on in dis world
and how to dig Christmas and how to all enjoy

And he took him up to a little old outcast.

And there sittin on a small beat-up rock
was two studs chompin' up on a can 'a beans singin',

"Merry Christmas widch you,
Merry Christmas widch you.
Merry Christmas to the whole world"

And so on and so forth.

And he showin' him the people jumpin' for joy,
see how the cats that ain't got nothin' got somethin' anyway,
and they're all jumpin' for joy singin' "Merry Christmas," and da bells is ringin'.

Now you get yourself straight and see how things is ....

So they fly over da Cratchit's place,
there little old Tiny Tim, He's sittin' over in the corner
crochetin' a little crazy scene,
fiddlin' around, ya know what I mean?
An carryin' on, see,
and they are all talkin' about this here goose,
and dey look down here and this little goose
about the size of a beat up retarded sparrow,
and everybody's ooohin' and aahhhin' all over dis goose,
and day sayin' when are we gonna spread it,
and Tiny Tim say, "God bless everyone,
and even up to and including Scroogy Scrooge.
God bless everyone!" That's what Tiny Tim say.

And old Scrooge got red-eyed.

Brrrrt .

Took 'im back again.
Sound like the whole side 'a the buildin' open up
and in come a long angular spook
seventeen gas lights and stove pipes
hung together with
jingle jangle bells all over
Scrooge takes a look at this cat,

Says, "Do I have to go with you?"

He says, "You certainly do, 'cause I'm The Ghost of Christmas Future."

He say, "Come wid me."

Say, "Where we goin'?"

"None 'o your business!"

He takes old Scrooge they cut off flyin' around
the moonlight is shinin' down.

Booom!

They're in the grave-yard.
Oooh a wild OOOOoooohhhh
crazy spooky graveyard
and Scrooge is walkin' around
and finally something stepped out at him
like he was struck with the force of his eye lids,
some sort of an electronic pitchfork,
and he reads on one of them billboards in that grave-yard,
it say, "Dis is Scrooge, the baddest cat that ever lived.
He don't have nothin' he ain't got nothin' and he ain't got nothin now."

Period

And Scrooge looked at it and . . .

They're going to another place,
and there's a cat say "You goin' to the funeral?"
and he say, "Not me, man, I wouldn't go near that cat, dead or alive.
They couldn't pay me to get near that cat."
Say, "What cat is that?"
And suddenly Scrooge is takin' in the coffin factory
and seeing all these coffins layin' around,
and see one coffin,
all the rest of 'em got flowers around
'n 'dis poor little coffin got nothin on it but just some pinewood boards
an' old Scrooge look up and over and he's lookin' at this and that
and look all away 'cause he knows who is in dat coffin.

Zooooommmm.

He's swings on back again and the ghost puts him down
and old Scrooge is shakin' and shiverin'
and he finally falls into a real wild, crazy miser's coma.
And he falls out for how long he don't know
when and he wakes up and
Mornin'!

Aaaaahh, the sun was shinin' on the glorious snow
and old Scrooge is feelin' so groovey 'n so wired
and he tip tip tip tip tip toes over to the window.
He open the window, see a little cat, he say, "Hey, boy."

"Yes, sir."

"You know that great big giant king-size bird
down in Doodley's window?"

"You mean the prize bird?"

"No," he say, "I mean that great big king-size bird."
Say, "Go get that bird. Here's a twenty."

He knocks a twenty on him. "Go get dat bird.
And here's ten more for a cab,
an here's five dollar for your sister,
and here's twenty-two-fifty for your uncle's new bicycle.
Tell anyone who wants anything, 'See Scrooge.'
I'm flyin' this here Christmas.
I want to see Cratchit swing out
with a great big swingin' happy dinner.
I'm wid it all da way!"

An' old Scrooge get dressed and he's walkin' down the street,
and Ding Dong, Ding Dong Ding, the bells is ringin'.
Scrooge got a big smile on his face,
and people he's seen for twenty years never said hello,sayin'
"Good morning, Mr. Scrooge."

"What you say, Baby?"

An' he carryin' on, carryin' on, happy as the day is long.
And he finally fell into old Bob Cratchit's place
and he's got Christmas toys and Christmas joys
and Christmas presents for everybody.

And they'd just opened the goose,
and then little Tiny Tim see him comin',
he say, "God bless Mr. Scrooge.
He done did the turn about.
He's the Lord's boy today."

And that's the story of Scrooge.
You can get wid it if you want to.
There's only one way straight to the Road of Love.
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Poem: The art of flying

The art of flying
by Jack Brummet
Fly, but never believe
In flying.

Never trust gravity, lift,
Physics, stall speeds,

Thermals, trade winds
Or the deranged captain

Madly cackling
Behind the reinforced door.
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George Clooney on keeping the faith with BHO

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

George Clooney's recent statement on keeping the faith with our President; he's not wrong.  Although BHO was not my first choice as President, I tend to be a yellow dog Democrat, as should most of the Democrats who seem to have lost the faith. 

We should not forget just what a re-elected President can pull off in his second term--at least during the the first 2.5 years.  And don't forget that he will likely be able to name one more Supreme if he is re-elected.  Or would you perhaps prefer to see whom Presidents Gingrich or Romney pulls out of their hats as a nominee?

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While Ex-Speaker Gingrch claims the Palestinians don't exist, this photograph proves otherwise

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

While Ex-Speaker Newt Gingrch claims that the Palestinians don't exist, this photograph of the Speaker and Yasser Arafat holding hands proves otherwise.  Some people (most notably Wonkette) have recently hinted that The Speaker in all likelihood had a man-crush on the PLO Chairman.

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Poem: To The Lost

To The Lost

by Jack Brummet

These pictures open a door
I thought was shut forever.

Behind the door is a friend
Who never got to go grey.

The door creaks open.
I am afraid to look inside.

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Dubai's Big Time Sewage Problem

By Jack Brummet, Travel Editor

Dubai is a new city of massive, wacky and often brilliant skyscrapers.  But, alas, since they were all built quite recently, the city's sewer system is not even close to keeping up.

As NPR's "Fresh Air" reported last month, only a very few of these edifices are actually hooked up to the central municipal sewer system.  All the rest of the towers must install massive storage tanks and hire huge fleets of tanker trucks to carry away the waste.  These buildings work basically like RV's!  The tanker trucks, when they pull into the overburdened central treatment plants, are often forced to wait on line, for as long as 24 hours at a time, to dispose of  their "cargo."

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Marvin Gaye "heard it through the grapevine" hit No. 1 on the charts 43 years ago today::::::How Marvin changed the music biz

By Jack Brummet, Music History Editor

43 years ago today, in 1968, Marvin Gaye hit No. 1 on the charts with "I Heard It Through The Grapevine," one of the great R&B songs of all time, and the biggest selling Motown single up to then.

MG also changed the way that corner of the music business worked.  He controlled the recording and arrangements of the song, and along with Buddy Holly, Brian Wilson, Stevie Wonder, and other makers and creators, broke the crooked--and stifling--music business system where artists ("talent") were robots, answering to the producers and A&R men.  MG's album "What's Goin' On?" with its sweet melange of of funk, jazz, and Latin soul was a strident departure from the Motown Sound, and was Motown's first really autonomous work, made without the "help" of Motown's staff producers, A&R men, or Barry Gordy himself.

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A blast from the past--> South Park: Jesus vs. Santa Claus (NSFW)

A very early South Park.  Most definitely NSFW -- includes strong language and images of Jesus some of you may find disturbing.  /Pablo Fanque

Quote of the day: David Axelrod likens Ex-Speaker Newt Gingrich to a monkey's butt

"I told my colleagues yesterday a bit of homespun wisdom I got from an alderman in Chicago some years ago when one of his colleagues wanted to run for higher office and he was really dubious. He said, ‘just remember the higher a monkey climbs on a pole, the more you can see his butt.’ So, you know, the Speaker is very high on the pole right now and we’ll see how people like the view." - David Axelrod, Obama Campaign Senior Strategist

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A crazy music video by Marc Gómez del Moral (definitely NSFW)

Warning--not safe for work, includes abundant nudity, a couple of disturbing images, and some politically incorrect scenes.  This video is delightfully messed up, and fascinating. . .

EL GUINCHO | Bombay

by MGdM | Marc Gómez del Moral

EL GUINCHO | Bombay from MGdM | Marc Gómez del Moral on Vimeo.

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Serial Adulterer Newt Gingrich "Endorses" The Iowa Marriage Pledge

By Mona Goldwater, Ethics Editor

From today's @NewYorkTimes:  "Newt Gingrich became the latest Republican candidate to endorse the so-called marriage pledge, a controversial document put forward by an influential evangelical group in Iowa that opposes same-sex marriage and abortion."

"Mr. Gingrich stopped short of signing the pledge, however."

The Iowa pledge, put together by the Family Leader, asks candidates to try to block same-sex marriage and women “in forward combat roles.” It also requires pledgees to remain faithful to their spouses and support “robust childbearing and reproduction.”

Newt didn't actually sign; he just "endorsed" it.   Perry, Bachmann, and Santorum all did sign the pledge.  Newt, of course, is the only one in the field who has publicly admitted to cheating on two of his wives (so far). 

The pledge's relevant section follows.  If Newt is really reformed, as he claims, it looks like he can endorse the Pledge with a (more or less) clear conscience:

"9 — As applicable if married now, wed in the future, or whenever interacting with another's spouse, a person of the opposite sex or of personal attraction. No signer herein claims to be without past wrongdoing, including that of adultery. Yet going forward, each hereby vows fidelity to his or her marital vows, to his or her spouse, to all strictures and commandments against adultery, and to resist the lure of pornography destructive to marital intimacy."

Mr. Gingrich is off the hook with the pledge for his past sins. 

The most interesting part of the pledge is where they get into economics.  WTF?  How is this in the Marriage Pledge?:

"Commitment to downsizing government and the enormous burden upon American families of the USA‟s $14.3 trillion public debt, its $77 trillion in unfunded liabilities, its $1.5 trillion federal deficit, and its $3.5 trillion federal budget." Again, this is in "The Marriage Vow."

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Contrary to the wingnuts' claims, BHO is no dove. He's a Scoop Jackson Democrat.

Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

Image from JP Moore at Buzzfeed.

I've never doubted BHO's bellicosity; I never thought he was soft on war. He let us know that from the very beginning.  He was never against war, but he was very particular about which war he wanted.  The difference between him and President George W. Bush was the focus of their multi-pronged war, not war itself. In some ways, he's a Scoop Jackson defense democrat (if you doubt that, look at the current defense and war budgets), who is now facing potential action in Pakistan, and if things blow up, Iran.  And those wars are in addition to sending troops and advisers into other various hot spots and troubled regions (for example, Libya and Egypt).  He may not be a hawk, but he is a Defense Democrat ala JFK.   Appeasement?  Come on.  President Barack Obama is no George McGovern or Gene McCarthy.  And he most certainly is not a Neville Chamberlain.  

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Fans

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Christmas special: Eight Bad Santas

By Mona Goldwater, Holiday Editor

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An image from last night's Lunar Eclipse, as seen from the West Coast

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John Lennon's involuntary departure

By Jack Brummet, Rock Ed. and NYC/Metro Ed.

"Imagine no John Lennon."  December 8th is such a sad day.  I just read a piece about Lennon on The Norton Report. 

We lived a few blocks away from the Dakota and often caught glimpses of John and Yoko around the UWS. I remember Keelin was in a store on Columbus once, and they cleared the store because the Lennons were coming in to shop.

That night, December 8th. 1980,  we could hear the sirens from our place on W. 84th. I was listening to Vin Scelsa on WNEW-FM 102.7, when he got word that his friend had been assassinated. It was utterly devastating listening to Vin's reaction. There was such a pall over New York those next few days; it was heartbreaking. New York had bounced back a little bit from the lows of the mid-to late 70's.  And then, this.  In our town.  One of our flawed, but great heroes, eliminated. . .

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"OK, let's go. I'm getting The Spinnies."

Digital Art by Jack Brummet, Art Intern

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"We like Christmas Parties"

From FYVM.DK:

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Cola: "How soon is too soon?"

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Poem: [you can't see earth]

By Jack Brummet

[you can’t see earth]

1
You can't see earth
From the dark side of the moon
But maybe that changes

With the accelerating deceleration
Of the moon and earth.
A waning Gibbous moon

Dangles 1.3 light seconds away
And The Sea of Tranquility
Looks like a menacing sinkhole.

2
The moon
And the fog
Are in cahoots.

The mist slithers in,
Wraps itself around houses,
Trees, shrubs, and churches,

And threads its way
Along the ground,
Like a horror movie fog.

I wonder if the fog and moon
Really trigger
Mayhem, madness, and murder?

But then I don't actually know
If our brains have tides,
Or if they do, if it matters.
---o0o---

ATIT Reheated: From 7 years ago, a list of our favorite disclaimers

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

From ATIT in November 2004. . .this is one of my favorite lists by Jack (and there have been many).  He collected various disclaimers for years and published this, his first list ever, during the first month of All This Is That's existence.

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---o0o---

a bigfoot encounter

By Jack Brummet, Paranormal Editor
illustration by Jack Brummet

In North America (hey! including the brothers and sisters in Canada) there are myriad stories of Bigfoot kidnappings and sex with native women. Here's one story from a book written by Dr. Ed Fusch: "Seweneytl And The Stick Indians Of The Colville". The book contains dozens of accounts of Native American interactions with "large bipedal hominids". To us, this story about a Colville Indian bride stood out the most as it was summarized in Monster DNA and Ancestory by Ray Crowe:

Credit: www.colvilletribes.com

"Perhaps the most famous is the one in a rare book of Dr. Ed Fusch, “Seweneytl And The Stick Indians Of The Colville.” He tells of the Lake Band of the Colville Indians. They had a fishing camp in the late 1890’s near Keller, Washington, on the San Poil River."

"The recent pretty bride had gone for water when the camp heard the Indian maiden scream. The men thought a bear might be threatening or attacking the bride and rushed to her aid and they could only stand and watch in awe as the bride disappeared in the distance in the arms of a Skanicum (local Bigfoot name)."

"The remainder of the summer the men hunted for the lost bride searching every nook and cranny, but without luck. Finally at the end of summer they found her while she was gathering roots as the Skanicum slept. She was pregnant from the seed of the monster that had forced her to satisfy his desires. Months later she bore a half-monster child – a son. She named him Patrick. And Patrick survived and grew up to become a member of the tribe."
"Patrick was ugly. A tiny troll of a sub-human hybrid. He was hump-backed and only 5’4” tall with arms that hung down to his knees. There was a sloped forehead, a large mouth, and a large lower jaw with protruding teeth. He grew up, being considered quite bright and affluent; enough that he found a wife and lived a successful married life. He reached the ripe old age of 30, and was buried on the Colville Reservation."
"Patrick had a full family life, siring three daughters and two sons that died early. The girls were Mary Louise, Madeline, and Stella, who also died early. Mary Louise lived near Omak and it was said that her paternal grandfather was a Skanicum, although she was relatively normal in appearance; although both girls were said to have protruding teeth, wide mouths, and were squint eyed."
"Madeline lived near the Washington coast, and was said to be incredibly ugly. An alcoholic, she spent much of her time in taverns. Dr. Fusch is, last I heard, was unsuccessful in trying to track her down to get a DNA sample which might have been illuminating."

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#OWS: The Re-occupation

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Poem: Failure

Failure
By Jack Brummet

I try over and over to slap the stink-eye
On those who trespass
Against me.

I stand in the yard at midnight,
Sending invites to the greys.
They keep right on moving.

I sit in meetings,
Trying to hypnotize
The speaker droning

On about something
That won't really matter.
I focus every electron of thought

On my perceived enemies,
And they always wake up.
Either telepathy fails me

Or I fail telepathy,
With a brain
That refuses to transmit.

---o0o---

Painting: Candidates speak, see, and hear no evil

by Jack Brummet

click to enlarge

---o0o---

Throw The Bums Out - a poster by jack, mona, and pablo

research and assemblage by jack brummet, pablo fanque, and mona goldwater

click to enlarge

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Logo

A 3D copy of you

By Mona Goldwater, Technology Editor

Real-F is offering an amazingly detailed 3D face mask of you for $3,920.  A copy of your entire head will run you $5,875.  But after the first one, discounts come in...additional faces and heads cost $780 and $1,960.

Real-F's "Three -Dimension Photo form (3DPF)" technique allows them to duplicate pores, eye's blood vessels and iris exactly like the original, the original being you.

I would love to have a bunch of these and walk the streets with my platoon of clones. . .

You can find them here, on Facebook, or at their Website.  Only four grand: what have you got to lose?

---o0o---

The 1919 Seattle General Strike

By Jack Brummet, Seattle Metro Editor

The Occupy Oakland General Strike made me remember studying the 1919 Seattle General Strike in a Labor Union class in college.  Oakland also had a very successful general strike in the 1940's. And they had another effective one a few weeks ago as part of the Wall Street Uprising.  It got a lot of attention, and nothing bad happened; it helped shore up OO; the Oakland P.D. did not leap in with a disproportional response, that night anyhow.

Twenty years after the Seattle strike, in 1936, James Farley, the Postmaster under FDR, said "there are 47 states in the Union, and the Soviet of Washington," referring to the leftist movements in the state, and especially in Seattle, where the general strike had occurred.  There have been similar quotes over the years, referring to the Supreme Soviet of Seattle. . .

The Seattle Star's last ditch effort to stop the General Strike

The Seattle General Strike of February 1919 was the first real city-wide labor action in America to be acknowledged by the media (then, radio, magazines, and newspapers) as a "general strike."   The strike happened due to the heavy presence of radical labor unions in the Pacific Northwest, the strong influence of the IWW [International Workers of the World, sometimes referred to as IWW:"I Won't Work."], although they were not heavily involved, and because of the vast numbers of workers and soldiers who were recently out of work due to the end of World War I.

The strike lasted less than a week, but inspired other strikes and was one of the triggers of the Great Red Scare of 1919.  This strike frightened people (well, mainly the 1%-ers of the early 20th century) because it was generally believed the strike was fomented by Communists/Bolsheviks, who successfully revolted in Russia two years earlier.   The Wikipedia says the fallout from the strike was "the first concentrated eruption of the anti-Red hysteria that characterized the Red Scare of 1919."

In an editorial in the Seattle Union Record, a union newspaper, activist Anna Louise Strong tried to describe the general strike's power and potential:

"The closing down of Seattle's industries, as a MERE SHUTDOWN, will not affect these eastern gentlemen much. They could let the whole northwest go to pieces, as far as money alone is concerned."

"But, the closing down of the capitalistically controlled industries of Seattle, while the workers organize to feed the people, to care for the babies and the sick, to preserve order--this will move them, for this looks too much like the taking over of power by the workers."

"Labor will not only Shut Down the industries, but Labor will reopen, under the management of the appropriate trades, such activities as are needed to preserve public health and public peace. If the strike continues, Labor may feel led to avoid public suffering by reopening more and more activities."

"UNDER ITS OWN MANAGEMENT."

"And that is why we say that we are starting on a road that leads--no one knows where!"

Newspaper across the country reprinted excerpts from Strong's editorial.

"The strike began in shipyards that had expanded rapidly with war production contracts. 35,000 workers expected a post-war pay hike to make up for two years of strict wage controls imposed by the federal government." (From an article in the The Seattle Times on March 31, 1996)

When the regulators refused to lift the wage caps, the Metal Trades Council union alliance declared a strike and closed the shipyards.   The Metal Trades Council pleaded for support from the Central Labor Council and virtually all of the city’s 110 local unions voted to join a sympathy walkout. 

Local and national press vehemently denounced the strike, and the conservatives called for extreme measures to snuff what they felt was a revolutionary/Anarchist/Bolsheviki plot. Mayor Ole Hanson, elected the year before (with heavy labor union support), armed the police and threatened to declare martial law and bring in federal troops to prevent the strike.

Some of the unions caved early on, and by the time the Central Labor Council officially declared an end on February 11, most unions had already gone back to work.

After the strike, reprisals against "the Reds," specifically the IWW, and Socialist Party, began.  Their HQ were raided, and the leaders thrown in jail.  Federal agents closed the Union Record, the labor-owned daily newspaper, and arrested several of its staff members.

Around the country, headlines screamed the news that Seattle had been saved, that the revolution had been broken, and, as Mayor Ole Hanson said,  “Americanism” had triumphed over “Bolshevism.”  The mayor promised to preserve order and do whatever it took to protect life and property. A few months after the strike was over, Hanson resigned and made a small fortune on a lecture tour, talking about the strike and the evils of Bolshevism. 

An anti-syndicalism law passed by the state Legislature early in its 1919 session was used as a basis for numerous raids on Socialist and radical labor headquarters, police disruption of meetings, and the arrest of suspected revolutionaries.

When three marchers were mysteriously shot in Centralia's 1919 Armistice Day parade, vigilantes retaliated by lynching a radical union leader, Wesley Everest. The Seattle Union Record's sympathetic coverage of the union side prompted federal marshals to suspend publication of the paper for several days, charging its editor with sedition.

Slowly, things returned to what passes for normal in Seattle.

---o0o---

The rules from Zombieland

By Jack Brummet, Film Editor

I really liked this movie a lot. . .and the rules were good.  Of the 32 or 33 rules alluded to by Columbus in the film, these are the ones specifically mentioned.

Cardio (Rule #1) Build up that endurance.

Limber Up (Rule #18) Don't pull a muscle running or dodging.

When in doubt, know your way out (Rule #22) "This rule is all about knowing your surroundings and preparing yourself for the worst,” says Columbus.

The Double Tap” (Rule #2)  "In those moments when you're not sure that the undead are really dead-dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets…You can avoid becoming a human happy meal.”

Check the back seat (Rule 31)  “The last thing you need while driving is to have a zombie crawling up behind you trying to bite you.”

Wear Seatbelts (Rule #4) “You won't be driving along easy roads anymore. You need to be ready for a crash!”

Beware of bathrooms (Rule #3) "Just because it's not socially acceptable to climb under cubicle doors, it doesn't mean the zombies won't do it."

"Enjoy the little things (Rule #32)  “Without enjoying the little things, it's all too easy for you to lose sanity and peace of mind from the constant stress and pains of staying alive.”

Don't Be a Hero (Rule #17) “Possibly the most important rule of all. Don't risk your own life just to make yourself look good."

BE a Hero (also Rule  #17) Every good rule is meant to be broken.

---o0o---