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I like about five Zombies songs. I never totally bought the critical acclaim for Odyssey and Oracle. It's kind of like Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica, where after you listen once or twice, all you can say is huh? I fit them in with other bands like Paul Revere, or Herman's Hermits, who also recorded up to 10 really good songs. Here's one of them.
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Ignore what other people have to say.
You: So you want solders to march into your house and eat your food?
Opponent: The Third Amendment isn't even relevant anymore.
Someone else: He's right, there haven't been enemy soldiers on U.S. soil in 150 years, the possibility of it happening now is almost impossible ever since the creation of the National Guard. You: So you want enemy soldiers sleeping in your bed?
Act like you're satisfied with your point, then leave before hearing your opponent's retort.
You: All the fuck Maddox does is write about how much he hates stuff, oh real funny, He's a fuckin' genius! I'm outta here.
Opponent: Um, did he seriously just leave the chatroom?
Someone else: Yeah.
Always have the last word, even if it doesn't really fit the discussion.

"You: So I guess we can agree to disagree?
Opponent: sure.
You:....shithead
Ask a question you know is unanswerable.
You: I just don't see what's so great about it.
Opponent: Red Son is so brilliant because it's a hypothetical story that asks a cool question: What if Superman landed in the Ukraine instead of Kansas?
You: If you lived in the Ukraine would you still think it was so brilliant?
Opponent: ?????What?????
Point out misspelled or uncapitalized words in your opponent's argument.
Opponent: Tim Burton's batman was way better than The Dark Knight.
You: Says the guy who can't even capitalize "Batman," and technically, "The Dark Knight" goes in quotes, dumbass. Who taught you English?
Act like your opponent doesn't understand what you're saying.
You: I'm just saying that Superman would totally beat Shazam in a fight.
Opponent: So you think Shazam is weaker that Superman, I know.
You: You obviously don't understand what I'm saying.
The Big Big Planet Blog has an article, "How to win Internet arguments." Here is one of their suggestions (and one I have repeatedly employed here, along with the Nazi suggestion below):
"Group your opponents into large collectives and give them names (for e.g. “the anti-war camp”, “pro-war people”, “the opposition”, “the media”, “abortionists”). Then whenever necessary, you can bring up the less intelligent quotes previously made by other members of their group to re-refute."
Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka writing at Something Awful, posted a piece years ago, titled "How to Win Any Argument On the Internet." There were four precepts he expands upon:



I have retired the list I kept in the sidebar "Where is Jack," which was helpful the last couple of years as I flew around the country, and other countires, every week. But it seems unnecessary now that I travel far less. I did want to keep a copy of the now retired list and make it a link. Here are most of the places I've been over the last two years:
Eugene, Oregon 1/21 - 1/23/2009
Berkeley/Emeryville, CA 12/9-12/10 2008
Vancouver/Victoria, British Columbia, Canada Nov 7, 8, 9, 2008
Berkeley/Emeryville, VA 9/11-9/12 2008
Eugene, Oregon August 6th, 2008
Athens-->London-->Vancouver, B.C., Canada-->Seattle, July 18th, 2008
Athenai, Hellas July 14-17th 2008
Naxos, Greece July 11th-13th:2008
Santorini (Thira) Greece July 10-11th 2008
Sitia, Crete, Greece July 6th-9th 2008
Rhodes, Greece, July 4th-6th 2008
Datca, Turkey July 1-4,2008
Selcuk Turkey July 29-July 1, 2008
Ankara, Turkey June 28-29th 2008
Gorem, Cappadocia, Turkey June 25-28th,2008
Istanbul, Turkey June 19-June 25th 2008
Seattle-->Calgary, Alberta-->London-->Istanbul, June 18th
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada June 3-4: 2008
London, England May 2-May 4, 2008
Sheffield, England April 29-May 2, 2008
London, England Apri 29th, 2008
Irvine, Orange County, California Apr. 22-23 2008
Irvine, California Apr. 15-18th 2008
Oakland 3/11 - 3/13/2008
Puerta Vallarta 1/22 - 1/29 2008
Oakland 3/11 - 3/13
Los Angeles 1/22 - 1/23 /2008
Austin Jan 14th-16th, 2008
Irvine, California Jan 7-Jan 7th, 2008
Eugene 11/1-2/2007
Los Angeles 10/30/2007
LA/Irvine 9/18-19 /2007
LA/Irvine 8/7/2007
Eugene 8/1/2007
Austin 7/19-21/2007
Boston, Massachusetts 7/-18-19/2007
Eugene, Oregon 6/21/2007
Oakland 6/20/2007
NYC 6/5 - 6/11, 2007
Boston, Massachusetts 6/4-6/5, 2007
Newport Beach, California 5/29 -5/30/2007
eugene, oregon 5/9/2007
Oakland, California 5/7 - 5/8/2007
Newport Beach, California 5/6/2007
Eugene, Oregon 4/5/2007
Newport Beach, California 4/4/2007
Oakland, California 2/28 - 3/1/2007
Eugene, Oregon 2/21 - 2/22/2007
Newport Beach, California 1/15/2007
Newport Beach, California 12/3 - 12/4/2006
Oakland, California 10/3 - 10/4/2006
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