My last poetry reading...

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This was probably my last paying gig (and probably only my third, ever) reading poetry. You can see why I don't do that anymore when you see the article. I've done free ones and benefits since then (like the one I did in Greece last July), but at those, you get what you pay for. . .at this one, however, I forgot the punchline of a joke, and was completely rattled. From the first minute, I couldn't wait to escape the stage.
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Video: Johnny Cash plays A Boy Named Sue at San Quention Prison

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Jack and Keelin 1983: Contact Sheets, photos by Ed Bender

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Painting: Kev on the guitar

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The Great Molasses Flood

Leslie Jones, a Boston Herald staff photographer took this photograph of the
wreckage. [Public domain photo]

This is the kind of story you might read in Paul Bunyan, an absurdist novel or an early Woody Allen movie. But it actually happened. It has been ninety years (and a couple of months) since The Great Molasses Flood a/k/a The Boston Molasses Disaster, a/k/a The Great Boston Molasses Tragedy.

On January 11, 1919, a massive tank filled with 2.3 million gallons of molasses [1] burst. It sent an enormous wall of molasses down Commercial Street and through a quiet Boston neighborhood. This wall was traveling at about 35 miles per hour.

21 people - from age 10 to 76 - died in the flood. 150 more people were injured. Houses were destroyed, and so were the elevated railroad tracks. Streets and sidewalks were flooded.

No one ever determined just why the tank broke open. Some people speculated on the unusually warm day and others that the tanks itself was flimsily constructed. Naturally, the tank's owner The United States Industrial Alcohol Company went so far as to claim that deranged anarchists were responsible.

According to a Boston historian, Robert J. Allison, the flood's impact changed the way tanks were built and tested:

"Immediately you had this 50-foot wall of molasses which destroyed the elevated rail tracks, the fire house, and killed 21 people while creating a big mess," said Allison, who is chairman of Suffolk University's history department. "But after the flood happened, companies who made these big drums had to have different standards for safety. If the molasses tank did not explode, there could have been a big explosion in the future, perhaps something like a gasoline tank."



If you want to know more than this, Stephen Puleo wrote a book in 2004 book called "Dark Tide" [2] that goes into the disaster and its aftermath, in great depth.
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[1] In 1919, molasses was still the standard sweetener in the United States. It was also used to produce rum and ethyl alcohol. Alcohol was not only good drinking, but it was a key component in manufacturing ammunition.

[2] Puleo, Stephen (2004). Dark Tide: The Great Boston Molasses Flood of 1919. Boston, Massachusetts: Beacon Press. ISBN 0-8070-5021-0.

Alien Lore No 150 -- The Big Radio

By Jack Brummet, Alien Lore Editor

As late as the 1920s, many people (including Albert Einstein) still considered light signals as the most practical way to contact distant civilizations/The Greys (a/k/a aliens). Radio transmitters were not yet capable of focusing a beam on a distant planet. It took a 50,000 watt station, like KGO San Francisco, WOR NYC, or KIRO Seattle, to even broadcast up and down the coasts. And finally, scientists gradually became convinced that Mars did not have the conditions to support life. . . therefore, any Greys or ETs, would exist much, much further away.


It wasn't until 1959 that radio-based SETI [Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence] started to be taken seriously. Giuseppe Cocconi and Philip Morrison showed that radar transmitters of the time were powerful enough to send signals light years through space. "If we can do it, then the aliens might be doing it."

And we've been trying to speak to them ever since.

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The Zombies - video: Tell Her No

I like about five Zombies songs. I never totally bought the critical acclaim for Odyssey and Oracle. It's kind of like Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica, where after you listen once or twice, all you can say is huh? I fit them in with other bands like Paul Revere, or Herman's Hermits, who also recorded up to 10 really good songs. Here's one of them.
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Arguing on the internet

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I've received a lot of weird mail on All This Is That over the last four years. Love letters, letters demanding I remove something offensive to someone somewhere, hate mail, insanely argumentative emails that totally missed that what they are reacting to is parody/satire (like a great deal of the extreme statements printed here), and the usual offers and blog spamming. The weirdest stuff, of course, I ignore. I have been sucked into the morass of some pretty stupid debates. I usually avoid them. . .except with those who actually still seem to have even a marginal grip on reality.

The ISS website has some great tips. . .a virtual toolbook for winning internet arguments:

To make up for your lack of research and knowledge, use big words:

Opponent: Saying gays can't march is in direct conflict with the Constitution.
You: Your claims are trefilonious and scadlidiously out of tremdemnation.

Don't be swayed, and even if you are, don't show it.

Opponent: So you see, "The Simpsons" is still quite a relevant show, certainly more so than Family Guy.
You: Nevermind, this is stupid.

Ignore what other people have to say.

You: So you want solders to march into your house and eat your food?
Opponent: The Third Amendment isn't even relevant anymore.
Someone else: He's right, there haven't been enemy soldiers on U.S. soil in 150 years, the possibility of it happening now is almost impossible ever since the creation of the National Guard. You: So you want enemy soldiers sleeping in your bed?

Act like you're satisfied with your point, then leave before hearing your opponent's retort.

You: All the fuck Maddox does is write about how much he hates stuff, oh real funny, He's a fuckin' genius! I'm outta here.
Opponent: Um, did he seriously just leave the chatroom?
Someone else: Yeah.

Always have the last word, even if it doesn't really fit the discussion.

"You: So I guess we can agree to disagree?
Opponent: sure.
You:....shithead

Ask a question you know is unanswerable.

You: I just don't see what's so great about it.
Opponent: Red Son is so brilliant because it's a hypothetical story that asks a cool question: What if Superman landed in the Ukraine instead of Kansas?

You: If you lived in the Ukraine would you still think it was so brilliant?
Opponent: ?????What?????

Point out misspelled or uncapitalized words in your opponent's argument.

Opponent: Tim Burton's batman was way better than The Dark Knight.
You: Says the guy who can't even capitalize "Batman," and technically, "The Dark Knight" goes in quotes, dumbass. Who taught you English?

Act like your opponent doesn't understand what you're saying.

You: I'm just saying that Superman would totally beat Shazam in a fight.
Opponent: So you think Shazam is weaker that Superman, I know.
You: You obviously don't understand what I'm saying.

The Big Big Planet Blog has an article, "How to win Internet arguments." Here is one of their suggestions (and one I have repeatedly employed here, along with the Nazi suggestion below):

"Group your opponents into large collectives and give them names (for e.g. “the anti-war camp”, “pro-war people”, “the opposition”, “the media”, “abortionists”). Then whenever necessary, you can bring up the less intelligent quotes previously made by other members of their group to re-refute."

Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka writing at Something Awful, posted a piece years ago, titled "How to Win Any Argument On the Internet." There were four precepts he expands upon:

• NEVER DEFEND YOUR OWN POINTS (just attack the other person's argument over and over and over)


• CLAIM YOU WORK IN WHATEVER FIELD YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT.


• IF LOSING AN ARGUMENT, FEIGN FRUSTRATION AND THEN CLAIM YOU'RE BLOCKING THE PERSON. ("Every person on the Internet harbors a secret fear of having their communications blocked by somebody, particularly when they're devastating that person in an argument").


• AT SOME POINT IN TIME, CLAIM THE OTHER PERSON IS A NAZI. ("Every, and I repeat EVERY Internet argument should involve at least one comparison to either Hitler or the Nazis").

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Headshot: Kevin Curran

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Kev must have given this to me sometime in the early to mid-80's. It *seems* to be an outtake from a photo session for a headshot during his acting days (and what I wouldn't give to be able to post his appearance on Days of our Lives I think it was).
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Two years on the road slows to a trickle

I have retired the list I kept in the sidebar "Where is Jack," which was helpful the last couple of years as I flew around the country, and other countires, every week. But it seems unnecessary now that I travel far less. I did want to keep a copy of the now retired list and make it a link. Here are most of the places I've been over the last two years:

Eugene, Oregon 1/21 - 1/23/2009
Berkeley/Emeryville, CA 12/9-12/10 2008
Vancouver/Victoria, British Columbia, Canada Nov 7, 8, 9, 2008
Berkeley/Emeryville, VA 9/11-9/12 2008
Eugene, Oregon August 6th, 2008
Athens-->London-->Vancouver, B.C., Canada-->Seattle, July 18th, 2008
Athenai, Hellas July 14-17th 2008
Naxos, Greece July 11th-13th:2008
Santorini (Thira) Greece July 10-11th 2008
Sitia, Crete, Greece July 6th-9th 2008
Rhodes, Greece, July 4th-6th 2008
Datca, Turkey July 1-4,2008
Selcuk Turkey July 29-July 1, 2008
Ankara, Turkey June 28-29th 2008
Gorem, Cappadocia, Turkey June 25-28th,2008
Istanbul, Turkey June 19-June 25th 2008
Seattle-->Calgary, Alberta-->London-->Istanbul, June 18th
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada June 3-4: 2008
London, England May 2-May 4, 2008
Sheffield, England April 29-May 2, 2008
London, England Apri 29th, 2008
Irvine, Orange County, California Apr. 22-23 2008
Irvine, California Apr. 15-18th 2008
Oakland 3/11 - 3/13/2008
Puerta Vallarta 1/22 - 1/29 2008
Oakland 3/11 - 3/13
Los Angeles 1/22 - 1/23 /2008
Austin Jan 14th-16th, 2008
Irvine, California Jan 7-Jan 7th, 2008
Eugene 11/1-2/2007
Los Angeles 10/30/2007
LA/Irvine 9/18-19 /2007
LA/Irvine 8/7/2007
Eugene 8/1/2007
Austin 7/19-21/2007
Boston, Massachusetts 7/-18-19/2007
Eugene, Oregon 6/21/2007
Oakland 6/20/2007
NYC 6/5 - 6/11, 2007
Boston, Massachusetts 6/4-6/5, 2007
Newport Beach, California 5/29 -5/30/2007
eugene, oregon 5/9/2007
Oakland, California 5/7 - 5/8/2007
Newport Beach, California 5/6/2007
Eugene, Oregon 4/5/2007
Newport Beach, California 4/4/2007
Oakland, California 2/28 - 3/1/2007
Eugene, Oregon 2/21 - 2/22/2007
Newport Beach, California 1/15/2007
Newport Beach, California 12/3 - 12/4/2006
Oakland, California 10/3 - 10/4/2006
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Photo: Santorini's Caldera

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Here are a couple pictures of Santorini's Caldera, which we saw on our stop in Santorini a/k/a Thera, Hellas, last July.

The Wikipedia says: "Santorini is essentially what remains of an enormous volcanic explosion, destroying the earliest settlements on what was formerly a single island, and leading to the creation of the current geological caldera. Its spectacular physical beauty, along with a dynamic nightlife, have made the island one of Europe's tourist hotspots."

"The island is the site of one of the largest volcanic eruptions the planet has ever seen: the Minoan eruption (sometimes called the Thera eruption), which occurred some 3,600 years ago at the height of the Minoan civilization. The eruption left a large caldera surrounded by volcanic ash deposits hundreds of feet deep and may have led indirectly to the collapse of the Minoan civilization on the island of Crete, 110 km (70 miles) to the south, through the creation of a gigantic tsunami. Another popular theory holds that the Thera eruption is the source of the legend of Atlantis."
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Seattle's Blue Scrotumed Monkey

I know this is kind of old news by now. . .after there was a "scandal" and internet meme around the Huffington Post mentioning the b.s.'d monkey. . .but last week, IMAO.US released a FAQ about the monkey escaped from Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo (which is in walking distance of my house...or monkey leaping distance). This is pretty good (one slur aside). They also use a pejorative for a group of which I am a member. Live with it, or don't read it.

BLUE SCROTUM MONKEY FAQ (from http://www.imao.us/)

Q. How much concern should I have that a monkey with a blue scrotum is on the loose?

A. This monkey has been rated an orange level threat by the Monkey Threat Index for its tendency to gnaw on a person’s face or genitals when confused or scared and because it has a bright colored scrotum.

Q. What would rate a red rating?

A. Massive size and climbing a famous building.

Q. The monkey escaped from a zoo in Seattle and I live in Alabama. Does this concern me?

A. Yes it does. Monkeys are smart enough to buy plane or bus tickets, so it could be anywhere by now.

Q. What do I do if I see a monkey with a blue scrotum?

A. Immediately contact authorities or kill it with a hammer.

Q. What if I see a monkey with a purple scrotum?

A. Purples scrotum monkeys are common and harmless. Don’t waste our time with sighting of purple scrotum monkeys, homo.

Q. Well, that was uncalled for.

A. There is a blue scrotum monkey on the loose! We don’t have time for your feelings, Nancy!

Q. What kind of monkey is it?

A. An angry one. With a blue scrotum. And possibly a small caliber revolver.

Q. No, I mean what species is it?

A. Do you want to know its hopes and dreams too? It’s an angry monkey on the loose; what else do you need to know about it? What its favorite color is?

Q. Is it blue?

A. Obviously.

Q. Should I be concerned when I call authorities and mention a monkey, they could take it as a racist statement?

A. Don’t worry; the blue scrotum monkey sighting hotline is completely anonymous, cracker.

Q. Anything else I should know?

A. If the monkey’s scrotum starts flashing red, that means he is about to explode. Seek cover.
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