Thursday, October 11, 2007

Poem: Grey U.S.A.


No one knows how this ends.
No one knows how this begins.
Sifting through it all—the "facts," misinformation,
Speeches, debunkings, skeptics, videotapes,
Photographs, confabulations, eyewitness accounts,
And the endless reams of forged and redacted documents,
Lies, hype, shuck and jive,
Government moves and countermoves—
Leaves us about where we started,
With a broken roadmap of UFO lore.

The government was spooked
By all the strange flying objects in the 1930's.
In World War II, the Foo Fighters
Appeared to be witnessing the conflict
As interested observers and historians.
The Nazis not only had alien contacts
But came to be in cahoots with the Greys,
Working together on UFOs and moon bases.
It wasn't until July 2, 1947

When the greys crashed a saucer at Roswell
That it became clear aliens were at the wheel
Of the unidentified flying objects and saucers.
MJ-12 was formed in response to some low-level flights
The greys made over the White House.
Majestic arranged a meet with the greys.

After hearing tales of the impending invasion
Of man-eating reptoid aliens. MJ-12 signed a treaty
That allowed abductions of a limited number of people
Who were returned mostly unharmed.
In exchange, Americans received a technology transfer
And Area 51 became the testing ground
For newly acquired saucers and technologies.
By the mid-1950s America was on the moon (secretly of course).
Around 1968, MJ-12 began to suspect
That the greys were not
Living up to their end of the bargain.
They took far more people than planned
And implanted them with two millimetre mind-control devices.
The throwbacks were now all Manchurian Candidates
The greys corralled three million
Greys, humans, and hybrids to live
In underground bases, like Dulce, in the South West.
And then the reptoids arrived.
On cue, the greys will release an army
Of zombies from the underground bases.
The implanted abductees will then be switched on
And instructed to blow up power stations
And create mayhem. In short time, the reptoids

And their faithful grey allies will rule the earth.
Even with captured and controlled human zombies
The reptoid-grey alliance know they can't go it alone.
They've got their own human accomplices:
In government, the UN, the banks, and the media.
MJ-12 has its own back-up plan.
If the invasion story ever gets out,
Majestic will declare martial law,
Imprison abductees and stick them in camps
Before they can even take over a kool-aid stand.
Of course, majestic also knows
They'll have to deal with the true patriots,
Who will be interred in the camps as well.
No one knows how this ends.
No one knows how this begins.
---o0o---

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Almost There In No Time shows its true colors/ATINT v. ATIT

Almost There In No Time takes another pot-shot at All This Is That. You may have noticed they can dish it out, but they can't take it. And now, they desperately try to engage us in a blog war to pump their ratings up. The beleagured editor-in-chief of ATINT clearly has a paranoid streak, and is attempting to suck ATIT into his morass. We're not biting. Sorry, ATINT, we just report the facts, and only the facts. No matter what accusations that deranged Captain Queeg over there flings at us, we're sticking to the high road.



---o0o---

Painting: Parade



Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Poem: Midnight Madness



1
You can't see earth
From the dark side of the moon
But maybe that changes

With the accelerating deceleration
Of the moon and earth.
A waning Gibbous moon

Dangles overhead tonight
And The Sea of Tranquility
Looks like a menacing sinkhole.

2
Back in Seattle,
1.3 light seconds
From the moon,

A fog slithers in,
Wraps itself around houses,
Trees, shrubs, and churches,

And creeps along the ground,
Insidiously threading its way
Like a horror movie fog

Or a gauzy stage flat
Framing something terrible about to happen.
I wonder if the moon and fog

Really do cause madness and murder?
I've never bought the stories
About a full moon triggering mayhem,

But then I don't actually know
If our brains have tides
And if they do, if it matters.

3
The moon
And the fog
Are in cahoots.
---o0o---

Monday, October 08, 2007

Sen. Larry Craig to be inducted into Idaho Hall of Fame



[Thanks to Jeff Clinton for passing along this news tidbit...]

Senator Larry Craig is about to be inducted into Idaho Hall of Infamy Fame. And no, this is not All This Is That pulling your leg! Check the AP story on CNN.com.

According to the Associated Press today, Sen. Larry Craig was selected for induction into the Idaho Hall of Fame in March, well before he pleaded guilty to foot shuffling and disorderly conduct charges (a/k/a cruising). Earlier this year, you will remember that the Senator was busted in a sting operation in Minneapolis aiport's men's kaybo.

"Larry Craig has made a great contribution to Idaho over the period of 20-some years. At the time it was considered, this other matter had not come up," Harry Magnuson told The Spokesman-Review newspaper Saturday.



A few Republicans think "this other matter" should put a stop to the Hall of Fame induction. "Maybe in 10 or 15 years we can think of this hall of fame stuff. Now is not the time," said one Republican leader. "It's a sad day to be a Republican."
---o0o---

The picture Dean Ericksen and Almost There In No Time did not want you to see


The puppetmaster of all puppetmasters plays Dean Ericksen like his own private Mortimer Snerd, or Jerry Mahoney.
---o0o---

Index of poems on All This Is That

An index of Jack's poems published here over the last three years.


Index of poems since July, 2007:
---o0o---

Jeremy Piven plays the drums with Metal Skool

In this YouTube clip, Entourage's Jereny Piven sits in with Metal Skool in a show at the Key Club. The band are hopelessly foul-mouthed knuckledraggers, but they grant Piven his "make a wish" moment. In this clip, Piven never actually gets through an entire song, but does seem to enjoy the band's references to his pride and joy ("bigger than Tommy Lee's"). This is on the order of some of Paul Allen's sit-ins, or that flute player who used to run Borland. His work on Entourage is great, but his drumming is pathetic. Hey, Metal Skool...next time bring in Tony Ravo!





The Beatles: Please Mr. Postman video and lyrics

This is a very early Beatles tune...a cover of Please Mr. Postman, written by W. Garrett, B. Holland, F. Gorman, G. Dobbins & R. Bateman. The video is, naturally, an old American Bandstand style lip sync rendition, but still fun to watch nonetheless.






(Stop)
Oh yes, wait a minute Mister Postman
(Wait)
Wait Mister Postman

Please Mister Postman, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a letter in your bag for me
(Please, Please Mister Postman)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh yeah)
For me to hear from that boy of mine

There must be some word today
From my boyfriend so far away
Pleas Mister Postman, look and see
If there's a letter, a letter for me

I've been standin' here waitin' Mister Postman
So patiently
For just a card, or just a letter
Sayin' he's returnin' home to me

(Mister Postman)
Mister Postman, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a letter in your bag for me
(Please, Please Mister Postman)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh yeah)
For me to hear from that boy of mine

So many days you passed me by
See the tears standin' in my eyes
You didn't stop to make me feel better
By leavin' me a card or a letter

(Mister Postman)
Mister Postman, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a letter in your bag for me
(Please, Please Mister Postman)
Why's it takin' such a long time

(Why don't you check it and see one more time for me, you gotta)
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
(Mister Postman)
Mister Postman, look and see

(C'mon deliver the letter, the sooner the better)
Mister Postman
---o0o---

Sunday, October 07, 2007

You Owe It To Yourself (pop-up of the week)

The most curious pop-ad I experienced this week. A toothsome, curly-haired young woman, staring entranced at a palm holding about $50,000 in $100 bills.



Need more money?
It's easy.
If nothing else,

You owe it to yourself
To get our free kit
All you need is desire

We'll handle the rest.
Click here.
---o0o---

Go Larry Craig, go! Idaho Republican Senator decides to stand tall

You may recall, on August 30th, we wrote a fan letter to Senator Larry Craig (and begged for an autographed photo):

"...I don't care what the Idaho Statesman or the New York Times say...I want you to stand fast and fight! Sure, they may be trying to railroad you with these trumped up charges, but please!!!!! stay the course! Do not resign or apologize! You fought valiantly against same sex marriage..."

As it turns out, the Senator did just that. After hinting that he would resign at the end of September (much to the relief of the Republican high command as well as the rank and file), Senator Craig backed off from his earlier promises and has decided to stand fast. To the horror of the G.O.P., the Senator will remain an issue throughout the election cycle, until his term expires in January, 2009. Throughout the upcoming election, voters will be treated to callbacks of the oral and anal outrages Senator Craig villified (in his public life, at least), not to mention replays of the foot tapping bathroom-cruising episode, and as always, a list of the G.O.P. miscreants who have been caught in gay acts over the last year!

Do we think that All This Is That played a small part in the Senator's decision to remain in the Senate? We'd like to think so! But then, we never did receive that personally autographed photo. In case you think we are being disingenuous, please understand that we want nothing more than for the Senator to remain in office as long as possible. Go, Senator, Go! As Frank Valli wrote: "Walk like a man/fast as I can/walk like a man from you..."

Go, Senator, Go! This is going to be a lot of fun. Not only have you helped open up a national debate on gay rights and other issues, but you have helped educate the American public on cruising behavior. Many more of us now know what it means when that black oxford in the next stall begins tapping and sidling over.

Other recent articles here on Senator Larry Craig:

1.
G.O.P. rethinks policies on gays in light of recent events
2. Dear Senator Larry Craig: Send me an autographed photo, and stay the course!
3. Senator "Wide Stance" Larry Craig defends his men's room actions and swears "I am not gay" - Bonus content: Link to a latrine debacle reenactment
4. Another Republican cork soaker takes a fall: Senator Larry Craig busted in the men's room scouting for man on man action
---o0o---

Saturday, October 06, 2007

My eight favorite Austin music clubs and dive bars


Beerland sign

Stubbs BBQ (Great outdoor shows. I've been to five shows there, and they were all excellent. A great crowd, mixing cowboys, students, fans, and tourists. Grab a Shiner's Bock and enjoy.)


Jimmy LaFave playing with Lucinda Williams and Kevin Welch at Austin's Hole In The Wall (one of my favorite Austin dives, and where Roger Wallace plays regularly)

Hole In The Wall (A most excellent dive, a couple of blocks from Ruby's BBQ, my second favorite Austin barbecue spot...after The Salt Lick).

Guero's (An indoor restaurant with very good Tex-Mex food. But I usually hang out at their outdoor music court with excellent slurpy-machine Margaritas. Guero's is located next door to my favorite hotel, The Hotel San Jose).

The Continental Club (Across the street from The San Jose and the Austin Motel, and Guero's...often featuring classic country and Texas Blues).



Beerland (A great rockin' club, near Stubbs and Emo's. Beer and rock...a classic pairing).

Emo's (Punk, alt, rock down the block from Stubbs).

Antone's (A classic Austin joint, often with big touring shows).

Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon (The Austin home of honky-tonk. A great dive. If you're lucky, you might be there on a night when Dale Watson is playing. There is never a cover. Don't miss Sundays, when they play Chicken S**t Bingo,...wherever the chicken defecates is the next number).


Ginny's
--o0o---