Assemblage: The Anti-Rushmore: Presidents Eisenhower, Coolidge, Nixon, Taft, and Johnson

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POTUS 35 - President John F. "Jack" Kennedy: Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye

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President John F. "Jack" Kennedy was only President for 1,000 days. He got into two hairy situations with Cuba. He was another President who liked to party, and despite having a good looking, intelligent wife, he had numerous girlfriends, including Judith Exner, Angie Dickinson, and Marilyn Monroe.



JFK was killed under still mysterious circumstances in November, 1963. Five years later, his brother (Attorney General, and for all intents and purposes Chief of Staff, Chief Domestic and Foreign Policy Advisor, and Secretary of Defense and State), Bobby underwent an incredible transformation, and would surely have been elected President in 1968, had he, too, not been murdered by a deranged assassin. His younger brother Teddy made a couple of runs at the White House, but never got the traction he needed, and went on to become one of the longest-serving Senators of all time.
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POTUS 34 - President Dwight D.Eisenhower

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Ike was essentially the CEO of World War II. He rose from being a mere Lieutenant Colonel in 1941 to a five-star general in 1945. As supreme commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force, he commanded the most powerful army, navy, and air force ever assembled on this great green sphere. He commanded the assault on Nazi-occupied France that led to the defeat of Nazi Germany. In peacetime he commanded the NATO forces. He ran for President, and stomped Adlai Stevenson. Twice.

He was unable to duplicate his battlefield victories in the oval office. Ike had a congressional majority for only two years of his presidency, and truth be told, not a lot was accomplished in those eight years. Ike, in particular, turned his back on the great racial divide that would soon fracture the country once again.

There is a large body of scholarship and innuendo to suggest that President Eisenhower, like many of his presidential brethren, catted around and around and around on his wife, Mamie. Kay Summersby, his British driver, is often mentioned as the booty call.

He was succeeded as President by Jack Kennedy in 1961 (not averse to a little catting around himself), who narrowly beat Richard M. Nixon, Ike's barely tolerated Vice-President.
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Paintings of Dean Ericksen and Mary Curran

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POTUS 33 - President Harry S. Truman

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Harry Truman did not want to be vice president, and he didn't have to be for long. He was VPOTUS 83 days before FDR died in his fourth term of office.

He hoped to play the piano for a living, but opened a haberdashery with a fellow army buddy that went bust. Harry refused to declare bankruptcy and worked his entire life to pay the debts from the business. He got into politics.

In his bid for re-election in 1948, he was dubbed the loser to Thomas Dewey as newspaper headlines read DEWEY WINS when in fact Truman was the winner. You've seen the famous photograph of Harry holding the 'paper declaring Dewey the winner.

When bad reviews appeared in the press following his daughter Margaret's singing debut in NYC, he threatened to punch the reviewer in the nose.


click to enlarge. This photo with Lauren Bacall got Harry
into hot water with Bess. I can see why.

The President never removed his suit jacket while working in the Oval Office. Harry was not a shirt-sleeve guy.

When Japan refused to surrender in World War II, he made the decision to drop nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, two cities devoted to war work. He may have ended the war, but he let the genie out of the bottle, and we've never been able to put the genie back.

In June 1950, when the Communist government of North Korea attacked South Korea, Truman again went to war: "There was no suggestion from anyone that either the United Nations or the United States could back away from it." A brutal struggle ensued as U.N. forces held a line above the old border of South Korea. Truman kept the war a limited one, and avoided engaging either China or Russia.

He retired in early 1953, succeeded by President Eisenhower.
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Poem: What color is water?

Water comes in many colors

Because of the items suspended

In the water.

Water absorbs red and green

And reflects back the blue

When the water is pure.

Puget Sound is green

Because the water is alive

With thousands of critters.

The Aegean is blue

Because it's not so alive.

Now you're thinking "this is hokum,"

"What about this glass of water

In my hand?

It is crystal-clear and it sparkles."

It does look clear.

But if you made that glass

Of water as large

As the Empire State Building,

It would be dark blue.

If you don't believe me, try it.

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POTUS 32: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt - The Man In The Wheelchair Who Lifted The Country On His Shoulders; The Only POTUS To Win Four Terms

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FDR admired his distant cousin Teddy Roosevelt, and set out to emulate him (but as a Democrat!). He was in the New York Senate, and was an assistant Navy Secretary under President Wilson. He was the democratic candidate for VPOTUS in 1920.

In 1921, he was stricken with polio. He fought to regain the use of his legs and at the 1924 Democratic Convention he dramatically appeared on crutches to nominate Alfred E. Smith as "the Happy Warrior." In 1928 Roosevelt was elected Governor of New York. The crutches were used mainly for photo ops and he was confined to his wheelchair.

FDR became President in 1932, succeeding Herbert Hoover. He helped the American people regain faith. He brought hope as he promised prompt, vigorous action, and in the very pit of the depression, told America in his Inaugural Address:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear
itself. "

Two years into his first term as President, the Nation began a slow recovery. But the fat cats turned against Roosevelt's New Deal. They feared his social experiments, and his removing the nation from the gold standard. And they feared the deficits he was running up (which Republicans now pile up at the greatest rate ever).

Roosevelt's response to the fat cats: a new program of reform: Social Security, heavier taxes on the wealthy, new controls over banks and public utilities, and an enormous work relief program for the unemployed.

In 1936 (and in 1940 and in 1944) he was re-elected by huge margins. And he blew it for a bit. Sure that his mandate in '36 gave him carte blanche, he sought to pack the Supreme Court (which had invalidated numerous New Deal programs) by increasing the number of justices (all of whom would be his nominees). He lost that battle, but now the government itself could and did regulate the economy.

When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, Roosevelt led us into a global war and worked closely with England and Russia and their leaders Winston Churchill and Josef Stalin to take out the Axis.

President Roosevelt felt the future of the world depended on relations between the Americans and Russians, and he devoted much thought to the planning of a United Nations organization.

As war drew to a close, Roosevelt's health declined, and on April 12, 1945, while at Warm Springs, Georgia, he died of a brain hemorrhage, reportedly while he was hanging out with his girlfriend.
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Parallels between Hitler's Bunker and The John McCain War-room

This may sound a little familiar to anyone who has read an American newspaper in the last month:

"Hitler reviewed the war room maps and moved troops [voters] that didn't exist. And his Generals [Robert Mosbacher, Frederic V. Malek, Jill Hazelbaker,Steve Schmidt, Rick Davis, Bill McInturff, et al] knew that the cause was lost but they didn't have the courage to say so.

"German soldiers [that is, Congress and Governors trying to run as Republicans] , including members of the Hitler's youth, were sacrificed to buy just little more time for a regime that controlled a few blocks of Berlin at best. "

"Eva Braun [a/k/a Cindy McCain] was depicted as the lady in waiting as she entertained the inner circle. Beneath the surface of this apparently fun loving woman was a dedicated Nazis who wanted to die with her Fuhrer. She had been the loyal girl friend, sitting in the background and only at the end did she receive her Fuhrer's hand in marriage."

"Propaganda Minister Joel Goebel [a/k/a Senator "Crazy" Joe Lieberman] and his wife, Magda, couldn't imagine a world without Hitler and his National Socialism ideology. They don't even want their own children to be part of just a world, so they kill their own children before ending their own life. There was one surreal scene where Himmler asked an aide whether he should give Eisenhower the Nazis salute or shake his hand as he negotiated Germany surrender. "

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All This Is That reheated: McCain's Dirty Secret--> Holy S**t! The October surprise? It Depends®

Reprinted from the Sept. 19th, 2008 All This Is That

By Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs editor
Washington, D.C. 9-18-2008 12:15 AM EDT

No one quite expected this October surprise, if it comes to that. All This Is That received a tip over the weekend from a G.O.P. insider that John McCain is incontinent and wears adult diapers around the clock.

I jumped onto the story Sunday, after Jack Brummet called from the All This Is That offices. The first call I made was to sources in the Democratic Party. Interestingly, they wouldn't touch the story. The first two people I called told me to drop it. "Pablo, this story is going nowhere. This is just some crap a blogger cooked up in San Francisco."

My next call was to a Democrat I knew would never lie. She may not tell me the truth, but she would never lie about the facts. "Look, just drop it," she said. "We can't even come within 50 miles of this story. Yeah. I've heard some stuff. But there is no way we're going to touch this story. We have nothing to gain and everything to lose. If it comes out, fine. But no way is it coming out of here."

"How so?," I asked. "Look, Pablo. . .the second this story comes out, the McCain campaign will tie it to the P.O.W. years. This malady, this incontinence, will be attributed to his years in the prison camp. It will become a net positive—another hero's scars—and we will be skewered for playing the politics of personal destruction. And the McCain campaign will milk the P.O.W. angle for another month. I did hear some Dem P.A.C. has been working this, and they have photographic evidence, and someone willing to talk."

I next called a Republican friend who works for the R.N.C. "How high are you, Pablo? The Democrats are putting their heads in the sand on this one. They'll bide their time in hopes the story emerges elsewhere. They're way more spooked than we are on this one." "But why has nothing been mentioned in the press? Or the blogs and websites, even?" I asked. "You thought the John Edwards story was bottled up? No one wants to make the first move! Yuk."

The story slowly percolates, and it may be only a matter of time before it hits the mainstream media. There are rumors at least one tabloid has enough evidence—flimsy and otherwise—to break the story in the next week.

[editor's note: The story never broke, at least as of three days before the November 4th election. Was there not enough evidence, or did the Democrats show mercy by not throwing John McCain under the brown bus? We may never know. All This Is That Editors]
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Bible Sex Stories

I just discovered the Bible Sex Stories website. It could almost be a cousin to The Brick Testament, which presents Bible stories in Lego format. . .I suspect this site will keep growing (as The Brick has done), but for now it lists the following stories and illustrations:

Lot's Family Affair
Abraham Visits The Maid
Onan Spills His Seed
David and Jonathan Undressed
David's Virgin Bedwarmer
Ruth & Naomi



Just off the top of my head, they need stories for The Song of Solomon, Song of Songs, various canticles, Judah and the Prostitute, Esther, The Book of Ruth, the rapes of Tamar and Dinah (which strictly speaking, aren't sex at all), or Genesis 14-17:

14 During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, "Please give me some of your son's mandrakes."

15 But she said to her, "Wasn't it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son's mandrakes too?" "Very well," Rachel said, "he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son's mandrakes."

16 So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. "You must sleep with me," she said. "I have hired you with my son's mandrakes." So he slept with her that night.

17 God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son.

And there's plenty more Bible Sex than that. They've hit a rich vein here. . .one I expect they'll be mining for some time.
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Weird Halloween Costumes From The All This Is That Inbox

Over the last week, these strange and unsettling costumes have hit our inbox. At least two are profoundly disturbing (the grinning kid wearing a Keffiyeh [an Arab or Turkish head-dress...although I never saw one in Turket last summer]), and the two- or three-year old dressed up as Hitler. Goldilocks and the bears doesn't rate much lower on the disturbing scale, either. The most interesting is the costume of the dolls, looking like some sort of bizarre Katamari.

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POTUS 31, President Herbert Hoover. . .the scapegoat

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As I've said before about Hayes, Taft, Coolidge, Bush, Ford (who barely qualifies), et al, my second favorite variety of President is the one-term Republican defeated for re-election. My favorite configuration is, of course, the two-term Democrat. I am sad to report that in my now lengthy lifetime, I've seen--and voted for--only one: POTUS 42 William Jefferson Clinton.

Run from office on a rail in 1932 by the FDR juggernaut, President Hoover's star has risen over the years.

In the book, The Herbert Hoover Story, Eugene Lyons writes: "A Fantastic Hoover Myth. . .It presents our thirty-first President as a heartless ogre, inept and callous and reactionary, who 'caused' a depression, then 'did nothing' to mitigate its horrors."

President Hoover is no longer blamed for causing the Depression. However, he was trounced by FDR and the nation then began the excruciatingly slow march toward recovery, and, a decade later, war with the Axis.

Years later, in 1947, President Truman enlisted Hoover to help with various issues, including flying to Europe to fix the food production pipeline in defeated and occupied post-Hitler Germany.

Flags in the classrooms at Kent Elementary were draped with black bunting for a month when Hoover died in the fall of 1964. It was a relief I think, going back to a time when Presidents died in bed, of old age.
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