Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Jenkem: better living through chemistry

Jenkem is an inhaled gas which reportedly causes dissociation and hallucinations. It is made from fermented sewage (most frequently, the user's own urine and feces). Jenkem was first reported on in 1995 on the Inter Press Service Wire, and the BBS ran a news report in 1999. Recently, Jenkem has been sweeping American high schools. It is apparently still popular in various places in Africa.

The Wikipedia says: "According to Fountain of Hope, a non-profit organization, Jenkem is used by street children in Lusaka, Zambia as a substitute for ordinary inhalants such as glue or petrol. The news reports give no information as to how or when the children first began manufacturing jenkem."

Jenkem is made by placing urine and feces in a plastic bottle and allowing it to ferment in the sun for days. You then sniff the resulting gas. If you don't believe me, do a GIS. I did, and got 20,000 Jenkem hits...

You do have to wonder, though, about outhouses and honey-pots. Does Jenkem explain hillbillies? I remember being at a Willie Nelson-Old 97's show this summer, with the hundreds of porta-potties sitting in the 100 degree sun. No wonder the lines were so long! Was everyone just jenkem-ing down?

In the late sixties, I remember people getting high--or attempting to--on various ordinary, and less revolting substances like glue, gas, and other inhalants of course, nutmeg, morning glory seeds, and banana peels (remember the Donovan song Mellow Yellow?):

"Electrical banana
Is gonna be a sudden craze
Electrical banana
Is bound to be the very next phase"

Jenkem. Well, kids, at least it's still legal, unlike Cannabis (THC), Barbiturates, atropine, scopolamine, nutmeg, nitrous oxide, phencyclidine (PCP), Opium (Papaver somniferum), codeine, fentanyl (Duragesic®, Actiq®), heroin, hydrocodone (Vicodin®), hydromorphone (Dilaudid®), meperidine (Demerol®), methadone (Methadose®), morphine, oxycodone (OxyContin®, Roxicodone®), oxymorphone (Opana®), dextropropoxyphene (Darvocet®), ephedrine, MDMA (ecstasy). MDEA, MDA , mescaline (found in peyote and other cacti), cocaine, dextroamphetamine (crank), methamphetamine, dimethyltryptamine (DMT, found in numerous plants), psilocybin and psilocin (found in psychedelic mushrooms), ergine, LSD (Lysergic acid diethylamide), amyl nitrites (poppers), chloroform, and quaalude.

For a limited time, All This Is That will ship you everything you need to create Jenkem: jug, balloon, sterile water, and the raw ingredients, for just $89. Send us a PayPal cash payment, and the kit will arrive within a week. If you want the deluxe kit, send us $12,000, and we will deliver the kit personally, in your brand new Hyundai Accent. . .yours to keep.
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Alien Lore No. 117: Dennis Kucinich in Democratic debate: : I saw a UFO



In the bizarre finale to last nights Dem debate, Congressman Kucinich responded to a question by Tim Russert, saying yes, he has seen a UFO.

To make it even better, it happened at Shirley MacLaine's house! Kucinich quickly tried to clarify that it was [not a flying saucer, but an "unidentified flying object."

Barack Obama did not bite when asked about life on other planets. "I believe there is life here on Earth," he said, and went on to propose ways of helping the people we know actually live on earth.
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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Painting: the twisted bunny


click to enlarge
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War Games, the movie



If Matthew Broderick only made two movies, that would be good enough for me. I have always liked both Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and WarGames. Wait...maybe he only made two movies...naw. . .but I only saw him in two. I digress. War Games was a big hit, and before cell phones, and before more than just a few Americans owned computers, this film introduced us to the world of hacking, phone-phreaking and, of course, global thermo nuclear war. Yeah, there was a little romance, and some parent troubles to make it all palatable. But it was mainly about a boy who got in over his head when he got into the menu pictured above, and nearly started a nuclear war. He was logged in to DARPA/net, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency Network. That network later transmogrified and expanded somewhat to become The Internet.



The scenario was improbable, but good.I haven't seen the film since around the time it was released (the mid-80s). I wonder if it would hold up?

Finally, and I just remembered this. . .this is the movie that popularized the phrase Defcon (1,2,3,4,5). You still hear the word every now and then in the media...
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Monday, October 29, 2007

The War of the Worlds appeared 69 years ago (includes link to download the show)

It was sixty-nine years ago tomorrow--on October 30, 1938--that Orson Welles caused a national panic with his broadcast of "War of the Worlds"--a tale of an ugly Martian invasion of Earth. Click here to download an MP3 of the entire hour broadcast. It's great radio, and truly horrifying. It is such great radio that it changed radio forever. I probably listen to the whole show several times a year.

Welles was 23 years old when his Mercury Theater company updated H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds for national broadcast. Welles had already been in radio for several years, in "The Shadow." Mercury Theatre had no idea of the uproar "War" would cause. They did not intend to create a panic.

Millions of Americans had their radios on--but they were listening to Edgar Bergen (Candice's dad) and his dummy Charlie McCarthy. When that show ended at 8:12, the masses tuned to Welles's drama. By then, the Martian invasion was well underway. An announcer reports that "Professor Farrell of the Mount Jenning Observatory" had detected explosions on the planet Mars. Dance music came back on, followed by another interruption in which listeners were informed that a large meteor had crashed into a farmer's field in Grovers Mills, New Jersey.

A reporter at the crash site describes a Martian emerging from a large metallic cylinder:

"Good heavens," he declared, "something's wriggling out of the shadow like a gray snake. Now here's another and another one and another one. They look like tentacles to me ... I can see the thing's body now. It's large, large as a bear. It glistens like wet leather. But that face, it ...it ... ladies and gentlemen, it's indescribable. I can hardly force myself to keep looking at it, it's so awful. The eyes are black and gleam like a serpent. The mouth is kind of V-shaped with saliva dripping from its rimless lips that seem to quiver and pulsate."

The Martians rode walking war machines and fired "heat-ray" weapons at the puny humans gathered around the crash site. They killed 7,000 National Guardsman, and after being attacked by artillery and bombers the Martians released a poisonous gas into the air. Soon "Martian cylinders" landed in Chicago and St. Louis.

Across the eastern seaboard, panic broke out, including massive traffic jams in New Jersey of people trying to escape the martians. When news of the real-life panic leaked into the CBS studio, Welles went on the air as himself to remind listeners that it was just fiction. There were government investigations but no one was ever reprimanded or arrested.

Orson Welles went on to make great movies, including Citizen Kane, surely one of the greatest American movies ever, A Touch of Evil, the Magnficent Ambersons, and a handful of other great movies.

Click here to visit a page with a downloadable MP3 of the entire hour broadcast. It's a great show. And an early piece of Alien Lore.
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Painting: unglued


click to enlarge painting


Everything she's tried to bottle up
Suddenly breaks free
And swirls around her head
Like a mad herd of bees.

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Keelin Curran and Maureen Roberts at the Grand Canyon



Click to enlarge


Maureen Roberts and Keelin Curran as they hiked down the Grand Canyon last week. They spent several days in the canyon, and packed in all their water, etc., carrying packs that weighed about 1/3 of their own weight.
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Painting: Alien


click to enlarge
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One of our favorites: The "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks



As a writer and student of English, I get this. You have to admit, some of the best blogs are the crank, and extreme niche blogs.

I get a few letters and emails from people who place All This Is That squarely in the crank blog category--almost always from Republicans or gun nuts and regular readers who abhor the Grey-Alien-UFO-paranormal content here. Anyhow, this blogspot blog that has been digging into bad punctuation for the last couple of years. They always have some great images, usually of "signage." Check out the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks.

Bethany Keeley, who writes/edits "The 'Blog' of 'Unnecessary' Quotation Marks" isn't a crank at all! She's never snarky. She just prints what she sees and hears. She is not a member of the punctuation police, but they have, naturally, adopted her. Her take on the whole quotation mark thing is amusement, but the outraged banshees want her on board. Bethany has lots of other irons in the fire. Like her other blog, work, and probably some living thrown in there. Another cool thing: she gets like half a million hits a week or more, and she doesn't even bother with ads. It's completely a work of amusement and mirth; a spot-on niche site.
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Painting: my cousin


click to enlarge
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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Blind 75 year old homeowner shoots intruder


Cevaughn Curtis, Jr.'s mug shot


Arthur Williams

Click here to see the video of Arthur Williams.

Arthur Williams, a blind retiree, shot an intruder in the neck this weekend. He purchsed the gun he used 25 years ago. He called the police at 3:00 AM and told them the man was bleeding on his floor. The intruder had to be completely stunned; this was straight from Ray Charles' great scene in The Blues Brothers movie!


Dan Ackroyd withg Ray Charles in The Blues Brothers movie

The attacker--Cevaughn Curtis, Jr
.--will be charged. . .after he is released from the hospital. Being shot by anelderly blind man can't do much for your credibility in the hoosegow...
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Obama vows to hector Senator Clinton to the very end


In an interview in Ohio with the New York Times, Senator Barack Obama says he will now begin hectoring Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton more forcefully. He told the reporter that she had not been candid describing her views on critical issues. Obama is desperately trying to convince his spooked supporters that his lack of assertiveness can be overcome and that her domination of the presidential race is merely temporary/



Obama’s vow to go on the attack comes just over two months before the first votes for the Democratic nomination. This vow follows lame showing previously this year, where has not exhibited the aggressiveness demanded by presidential politics and has so far allowed Hillary to storm to the top of the rockpile.
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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Painting: my right eye


click to enlarge
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Alien Lore No. 116 :The 1973 Army Helicopter-UFO Encounter



On October 18, 1973 just after eleven p.m., a U.S. Army 'copter flying from Columbus to Cleveland, Ohio, bumped into a UFO. The crew included a 20-year flyer, Captain Lawrence Coyne, Lieutenant Arrigo Jezzi, and Sergeants John Healey and Robert Yanacsek. At 2,500 feet the crew spotted a red light to the west, moving south. They guessed the light was from a fighter plane fromthe Mansfield-Lahm Municipal Airport Air Guard Station.


Suddenly, the light shifted course and seemed to head right at them! And the stalked were stalking the stalkers. The Captain Coyne threw the chooper into an emergency evasive maneuver and began to descend. When he radioed to identify the military plane, his radio went dead. (The air guard station later said there were no aircraft in the area. The red light closed in, becoming brighter, and the helicopter descended at 2,000 feet per minute.



At 1,700 feet above ground, the object UFO shot in front of, then over , the chopper. And then it stopped, treading sky for 10 seconds, filling the entire windscreen. All crew members saw it and described it later as looking like a grey cigar with a small dome on top. One crewman said he saw windows. The red light was still there, in the front of the saucer, and they could also see a white light on the side and a green light underneath.


The green light swung around like a searchlight and pointed into the cockpit, filling it with green light. The object then accelerated into the west, made a sharp turn northwest and disappeared over Lake Erie.

The 'copter's altimeter showed an altitude of 3,500 feet and an ascent of 1,000 feet per minute. But the stick was still pointed down. Even though Captain Coyne had not tried to climb, his aircraft climbed to 3,800 feet before he regained control. A few minutes later, the radio revived. A complete inspection the next day found nothing wrong, and the event received a thorough investigation.

By itself, it was an amazing story. But how many of these have we heard before? This time, however, there were witnesses on the ground. A woman driving with her four children said she had seen the entire encounter, including the green beam, which she said lit the ground around her car.

Philip Klass, the famous UFO skeptic and investigator, said the crew misidentified a meteor or fireball, and suggested the ground witnesses were delusional or just lying. Jerome Clark dismissed Klass's theory as "fantastic," since none of the testimony was even remotely consistent with it.

They've been debating this one for 35 years. It is one of the handful of UFO incidents regarded as potentially legitimate, even by the skeptics. Maybe it's the green light. A G.I.S. of UFO+green light turns up nearly 300,000 hits in Google.
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Friday, October 26, 2007

Two species of humans?


According to an article by Niall Firth in the Daily Mail, "The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures." Firth quotes evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

"100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

In the 1895 book Time Machine by H.G. Wells, the human race also evolves into two species, the highly intelligent and wealthy Eloi and the Orc-like Morlock who are destined to work underground to keep the Eloi happy.
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all this is that reheated: The President Wets His Bed

President Bush is suffering a relapse of enuresis after having been cured almost forty years ago.

The bed wetting began intermittently around the time of the Scooter Libby troubles. By early November, and the firing of Secretary Rumsfeld, the devasting mid-term elections, and reports the situation in Iraq has become untenable, the enuresis became chronic and acute.

A mistress of Governor Jeb Bush, Heather Hunt, revealed the news in a phone call to Phil Ronson at the All This Is That National Affairs Desk in Washington, D.C. The closely held secret has been tightly under wraps since the President's relapse. According to Ms. Hunt, Laura Bush has assumed the task of laundering the first family linens. Ms. Hunt could not state whether or not the President was undergoing medical treatment for the disorder.


Photograph of The President at the time ofhis "cure"

Ms. Hunt further stated that the President was a late-adolescent bed wetter until age 19, when his parents flew him to Switzerland for extensive psychiatric and medical treatment, prior to his matriculation into Yale.
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All This Is That Reheated: The run-up to Roswell: Alien Lore No. 22

All this happened right here, in my own backyard, near Mount Rainier. The Arnold sighting was the first big national UFO story (circa 1947), and from there, the story got bigger and bigger.


--click image to enlarge--

On June 24, 1947, the first American UFO sighting occurred. And it occurred right here, in the northwest, not far from Seattle.

Kenneth Arnold was flying a search route in his single-engine plane on the way to Yakima, Washington. Since it as such a clear sky, Arnold put his plane in cruise control. He sat back and watched the beautiful scenery around him.

Suddenly--out of the corner of his eye--Arnold saw some bright flashes of light. He looked over and saw nine bright objects hovering about 9,500 feet above the ground. The objects were heading north to south at about 1,700 miles an hour.

The saucers were heading toward Mount Rainier, so at first Arnold thought they were search planes. As he kept watching, the objects starting going in between Mount Rainier and Mount Adams. This was a distance of 47 miles. Every few seconds the objects would change course, and as they turned, Arnold tried to see tails or wings; there were none. When he drew the objects later on, they looked sort of like boomerangs.

Kenneth Arnold landed and told some of his friends what had happened. Later he found himself surrounded by reporters. He told them that the motion of the strange objects was like that of skimming saucers. A reporter, named Bill Bequette, heard this and put the words "flying saucer" in his article about Arnold.

The next day there were headlines in papers all over the country about what Kenneth Arnold had seen. No one knew what the objects were, not even the United States government. The War Department was looking into what they were because they wanted ships that could travel as fast as these.

After Arnold's sighting, there were hundreds of reports of the strange flying disks every day. There was even one the same day. At the Cascade Mountains, a man named Fred Johnson reported 5 or 6 disks. They had a slight tail, were about thirty feet in diameter, and they reflected the sun when they turned. They weren't flying in any particular formation. As they flew by, Johnson's compass spun. This was the first report of any instrument being affected by the disks.

On June 25th, there were two major sightings. The first was made at Kansas City, Missouri. There were nine objects in loose formation. Another sighting was made by Lloyd Lowry in Pueblo, Colorado. There were two objects close together. It seemed as if one was chasing the other.

On the 26th, there were an incredible number of sightings from Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Texas, and New Mexico. There were sightings all over the south-west.

On the 27th, the reports started to change; they became more wide spread. Some came as far north as Canada and Michigan. The reports came from all over the world now.

It started to become a world-wide problem. No one knew what the objects were. Newspapers started to give explanations for what they thought the saucers were. Scientists thought that it was government research.

There are three main lines of speculation about just what had been seen. 1) The hexagon theory. The government was making hexagon shaped aircraft, and at high speeds, it gave the illusion of saucers. 2) They were remote-controlled rockets. 3) They were controlled by some hidden scientific group that was experimenting with different ways of travel.

Shortly thereafter, Roswell occurred and the era of UFOs, crop circles, abductions, cross-breeding, government conspiracies, and cattle mutilations had begun.
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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Do you want to write an alien poem? Four poems by alienbot

I've always loved programmed poetry generators. I once wrote (a rather feeble) one in Borland's TurboProlog. Anyhow, jump here to write your own "alien poem."

jack engulfs the grass
by Alienbot

He kills jack
The sun twitches the Earth
It touches loneliness
The desert bleeds woman suddenly
jack ponders wounds inversely
The chamber door picks up brains gleefully
The desert eats love flawlessly
The forest sees tears
My central processing unit engulfs infinity silken
My computer kills the lips
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The spider freezes the grass warmly
by Alienbot

The carbon based unit embraces infinity
johnnie makes the Earth
The forest sees the monkey rapping
The stalk penetrates the monkey gleefully
Sex hates hearts
Everyone numbs woman
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The lesbian explodes woman
by Alienbot

The spider kills love
My brain sees love
My heartbeat eats man
The stalk knows reality
The forest feels the pulsating alien brain messily
The outsider kisses as she walks
My computer breaks love
The carbon based unit ponders love
Midnight penetrates infinity gently
jack binds reality suddenly
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The desert sees reality
by Alienbot

The grass knows as she walks
It breaks infinity
My computer penetrates baseball
The stalk picks up the lips
Thought destroys the torso silken
My central processing unit loves brains unabashedly
The stalk penetrates as she walks messily
Midnight invalidates jack
My central processing unit breaks the lips gleefully
Alien probe smiles at the raven
The stalk wants man
The stalk binds loneliness
No one is the moon
jack hates funny smells
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McCain would like to blow Osama bin Laden away



The Boston Globe reported yesterday that G.O.P. presidential candidate John McCain told the workers in a weapons factory that, if elected, he wants to catch Osama Bin Laden.

"I will follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell and I will shoot him with your products," McCain said.

McCain later told reporters he was joking when he made the comment at Thompson Center Arms in Rochester.

Perhaps. But the bottom line is, he succumbed to the moment, when those workers stared raptly at him, and it was the political equivalent of saying "talk dirty to me."


The Senator gives The President a man-hug
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Monday, October 22, 2007

Not Jeri Kehn: people who are not Mrs. Fred Thompson, yet who often turn up in search engine searches on "Jeri Kehn"


Jack and Jackie appear. An Onion parody recently made several references to J & J in an article allegedly authored by Senator Fred Thompson about his hot wife.


Helen Thomas with Bill Clinton...don't why this one turns up, but you have to love it.


Georgette Mossbacher, a woman Senator Thompson dated.



Composite photo of Rudy Giuliani in drag, with Donald Trump. I don't know if the Senator dated the Mayor of 9/11 while he was in drag, or not.


Frances Folsom Cleveland, who married President Grover Cleveland, ending the bachelor Presidency. The 27 year age difference between her and the President was even greater than the one between Senator and Mrs. Fred Thompson (aka Jeri Kehn).


The late Anna Nicole Smith and her husband, Harry, a more extreme example of a May-December romance.


Kelsey Grammer and his wife Camile. There are numerous similarities to the Senator and Jeri Kehn: age disparity, a California tan, blonde tresses, an actor husband, impressive cleavage, and a husband who has trouble not grinning.


Lorrie Morgan, a country singer Fred dated for a long time in the 90s. She has nothing but praise for him.


Dennis Kuchinich and his wife Elizabeth frequently appear. It's that May-December thing, I guess. And one more grinning husband.


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EzineBlog.org

EzineBlog.org is a rollicking, wide-ranging blog site that covers Google trends, interesting articles on the military sports, Google's most searches words, wacky new cyber trends, and on blogging itself. And they have no ads...even less than All This Is That! They also help blogs drive additional traffic to their sites.

Editor's note: actually, it was formerly a rollicking, etc., etc. site. It appears to have died...the old link returns a 404 error.
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Sunday, October 21, 2007

The first cartoon, Fantasmagorie, from 1908



Fantasmagorie is the first animated cartoon, ever (or to have survived), created by a French caricaturist Émile Cohl. The animation contains about 700 drawings, all of which were double-exposed. The cartoon has a running time of almost two minutes.

ÉmileCohl worked for a French studio--Gaumont--when he created this animation.
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Saturday, October 20, 2007

Airport Screeners Miss Fake Bombs 75% Of The Time

According to a story on the AP wire by Doug G. Ware, "Bogus bombs run through airport security checkpoints are not identified by screeners the vast majority of the time, according to a government report. The U.S. Transportation Security Administration ran almost 300 covert exercises at three major airports last year to see how effectively the suspicious items made it into secure areas.Testers hid the simulated explosives in clothing, toiletry kits and even CD players. And though the appearance of the items should have caused alarm in the screener, most of the time they passed right through without question."

"That is a huge cause of concern," said Clark Kent Ervin, the Homeland Security Department's former inspector general, who added that screeners' inability to identify fake bombs might encourage terrorists to "chance it" and attempt to take real weapons on board flights.

Indeed. And yet, on two occasions at the Oakland airport, the metal detector has failed to go off when I walked through the portal (note: I have a stainless steel femur! and a few other miscellaneous metal parts like clips and screws, and a porcelain covered steel socket). Both times I mentioned it to the TSA functionary who was about to pat me down. And both times, they kind of weaseled and waffled, and basically didn't want to cause any trouble with their superiors. I get frisked and patted down every time I fly, and sometimes up to four or five times on some multi-stop trips. I don't complain! I like the idea they actually look for trouble. And now we find out that fake bombs slip through.


Even when I should have set off the alarm, it didn't seem to worry the screeners. I, for my part, am not at all surprised that fake bombs can slip through. The patdowns, while seemingly relentless and intrusive, never actually cover all the turf. I don't know if it's homophobia, or squeamishness on the part of the screeners, but they never actually pat down, or even come close to brushing the nether regions. If I had a bomb, I would most decidedly place it near my crotch, or in the fold of my buttocks. They never pat down those regions (note this, smugglers). And while I continually suffer the indignity of being pulled from the line, I don't complain. I like that they do this. I'd actually prefer we all walk through the screening area naked to make double sure.


Some recent pieces on All This Is That on aviophobia and fear of flying:

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Painting: The CEO and his two lieutenants


click to enlarge
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Three new Jeri Kehn photos; links to Jeri photos; and Fred Thompson describes the beauty of having a hot first lady;

If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History

The Onion

If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History

My fellow Americans, in the coming presidential election, the voters of this nation will plot a course for the future. There are many candidates,...

Yes, Fred Thompson, in an article in The Onion describes just what it will be like having a babe-a-licious First Lady. Click on the article to jump to The Onion and Fred's smoking opinion piece. Thanks to Steve Albertson for pointing out this article!

"I urge each and every one of you to run a Google image search and see the evidence for yourself: photo after photo of a tall but wrinkled and sagging 64-year-old man—that's me—standing at various gala events, his arm wrapped around a stunning woman with glowing orange skin and beautiful platinum-highlighted hair. A bold woman, squeezed into a dress with a plunging neckline so low her enormous breasts seem almost ready to leap out and scream, "Hey world—look at us! We are married to a famous man we saw in Die Hard 2 when we were in college!"

Here are the latest Jeri Kehn photos we've found (all recent, on the campaign trail):


Jeri in green


Fred up front, Jeri in deep focus (this seem totally wrong)


Practising for the Republican convention next summer

Two more Jeri Kehn Thompson Photos
A Jeri Kehn Thompson cameo appearance in a Fred Thompson campaign video, four new Jeri Kehn photographs, and a Mrs. Fred Thompson photo roundup
Three additional photos of Mrs. Fred Thompson a/k/a Jeri Kehn
Meet the Thompson Twins: Fred Thompson's wife, Jeri Kehn (with photos)
One More Jeri Kehn Thompson photo
Jeri Kehn Photos, Part 3: Three more photos of Mrs. Fred Thompson
More Jeri Kehn photos--> A follow-up to "Meet the Thompson Twins: Fred Thompson's wife, Jeri Kehn (with photos) "New photographs of Jeri Kehn Thompson on the campaign trail (and a couple of her husband Fred too)

"Go on, close your eyes and try picturing Jackie Kennedy on the cover of some magazine spilling out of a bikini. You can't do it, can you? Now try the same mental experiment with Mrs. Fred. The results speak for themselves."


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