Suicide, and getting through

I found out this morning, on returning to work after our blissfully long Christmas vacation, that a long-time co-worker had taken his life. He shot himself in his car.

I liked him. He was one person I could always trust when I asked design questions, and who would patiently walk me through (with some good-natured sighing about my ignorance) whatever question I posed. Even if he was working 18 hours a day, he would take the time to answer my questions and school me. He was intense, cranky, insistent, and smart as a whip (like all great designers). He's gone.

Between the time I was about 25 and 30, two friends, Jannah Hill and Peter Whitten, and my brother-in-law Colin Curran, took their own lives. I thought (no, hoped) those days were behind me (and there isn't much I wish to be already behind me). The death of my friend, reopens those old thoughts and regrets,. Could I have sensed something, or said anything if I had sensed something? Shouldn't I have known? Have I wasted my life doing what I am doing? Don't people who work side by side, in the end, have a sacred, really, a familial, responsibility for each other? Do we miss the signs, or do they carefully cover their tracks when they decide to leave this life?

When I was 17-20, I worked on a crisis hotline, and some calls came from people both toying with, and seriously contemplating, suicide. I know I changed at least one person's mind (or at least got them to cool off for a few days), and that when I checked a few years later, they were still among us. There were others where I never knew what finally happened. I don't think I had a gift or anything...just an overwhelming belief that you never know what tomorrow brings and that if you put off the moment, you just may see your way through. The death of my friend/co-worker brings that all back. . .I wonder if it isn't time to get back in?

In this country, thirty thousand people a year end their own lives. Last summer, we went to NYC where a lot of the family participated in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's "out of the darkness" walk, where thousand of people marched overnight to raise money (millions!) for research and prevention. This year's walk will be in NYC and Seattle (New York: June 7-8, 2008/Seattle: June 21-22, 2008.

Man, if you can pull even one person through to the next day, you never know! You don't know if he had planned this for years or if it was a bad moment, or if the turning point (and the way back) was just around the corner! Tomorrow, you could get it all back or turn the corner on the darkness.

I send my prayers and good vibrations to his family and friends that they can emerge from this whole, or mostly intact. And to Dream, "may the four winds blow you safely home."

I wrote this poem after my brother-in-law Colin took his life in 1983, and it kind of applies, still.


The Absence of Footprints

1.
We're not trilliums or daffodils
That spring back up
After a nap in the dirt.

2.
You told me you wanted
To make the crossing
Over to Cold Island
And I could never believe you.

It wasn't the karmic stain
That bothered me,
But the unfathomable fact
You didn't want to be here;
That all this wasn't enough.

All this is that.
And it wasn't enough.

3.
You stare into the ditch
You spent years unloading.

You are afraid to climb in
And stop,

To take something
That isn't working,
and make it not work forever.

4.
It's
so
quiet
you
hear
dust
motes
six
feet
up
bump
in
shafts
of
sunlight.
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Obama climbing...with one day to go to the Iowa caususes

click to enlarge Obama, Edwards, and Clinton

Barack Obama pulls in 32 percent of likely Democratic caucusgoers, up from 28 percent in the Des Moines Register's late November poll, while Hillary Clinton, held steady at 25 percent and Ex-Senator John Edwards held at 24 percent. This leaves Hillary with a fair shot at coming in third. The poll reflects continued insanity and volatility in the contest, even now the year of campaigning In Iowa is over. One third of likely caucusgoers say they could be persuaded to choose someone else before Thursday evening!!!
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Alien Lore No.121: The Telepathic Aliens In Kent (England)

This is a fascinating story from Bufora (the British version of MUFON, the national UFO network located here in Seattle). Here are some of the most interesting "facts." To read the entire, baffling story, go here.

Judy Jaafar's findings in the Bromley, Kent, 24th August 2003 alien sighting and her interview and investigation:

• Judy Jaafar investigated the case initially in 2003, but even this year, BUFORA was contacted BUFORA by email, trying to tell her stories to other, perhaps more receptive ears.


• Two investigators were dispatched to research "what turned out to be some of the strangest testimony we have ever heard." One them ran a tape recorder, and the other took notes.


• Sarah is clearly and undoubtedly the dominant of the two personalities, but she defers to John the channeler of spirits, and latterly aliens, but deferring in a way that assures his compliance.


• Both Sarah and John say they have no knowledge of alien lore and have never read a book or magazine on the subject, nor seen any films.


• Linda can be a grey or take human form, and in both forms he can be visible or invisible. John is channele and a psychic, who is more "open" to greys since meeting Sarah. Sarah first saw greys in 1986 lying in her beach hut in Negril, Jamaica, sick wither a collapsed lung and fever. The greys arrived to help. According to Sara, the "Greys are supremely intelligent and give information to humans in all disciplines - science, medicine, arts etc. They are here to help, and in fact are the "godparents" to many planetary civilisations.

• "The greys NEVER abduct people, or do experiments on them. "They have no need to as they know humanity inside out. Human spirits can, however, meet them on the astral plane and this might be mistaken for abduction."


• The greys sustain themselves by ingesting a homeopathically refined liquid made from pure water and certain herbs. They drink this through their mouths and it is deposited in a reservoir which we would call a stomach. They have no other end to the digestive tract, no bowels, therefore excretion is impossible. They extract the "energy" from this liquid and use it up totally.


• They use "energy" also to procreate. There is no sexual union as such (so
  presumably no sexual organs).


• Any 3-4ft tall greys seen by othe people must be juveniles, as they are
  around 7ft tall when mature.


• Greys can choose to be reincarnated as humans, whereupon they take very
  cerebral jobs because they are so clever.


• They live for 200-300 years, and just stop energising in order to die. This is to make way for the younger generation.


• The greys come from the planet Sirius D, and Sirius A is their sun. There was no mention of Sirius B or C. One third of the planet surface is covered by fresh water, but no salty seas. The flora is green and lush, and the climate mild. No mention of fauna, or other humanoid species. There is no pollution and the inhabitants live in simple but sophisticated buildings, generally sort of "round".


• On the home planet, the greys use "energised" vehicles which Sarah calls "flying caravans". She showed us a sketch she'd drawn of one of these, and it did look for all the world like a flying box with windows and door.




• There are schools and recreational facilities. They're not much into sport but do enjoy swimming and boating. Mostly they prefer mental games like chess in order to relax. The family is everything, and the grays as a race are very gregarious and sociable, as evidenced by their partiality to communal jacuzzis. [Ed note: this is a little scary, knowing my love of hot tubs, and hot springs.]


• They have a senate of fifty individuals, just as a guide, since no-one ever does anything wrong, and the senate retires every so often to allow the younger individuals some experience.

• There is no illness or poverty or hardship.


• John perceives that there are other alien races out there, but the greys have never told him this. To "tune in" he just relaxes.


• The greys will not give any information about future developments because we need to find our own answers, but they can nudge us in the right direction from time to time.


• The greys do not have a concept of God. They are completely self-sufficient and at one with the universe, so have no need of such ideas.




• Telepathy, which is their preferred mode of contact, will become common amongst humans after our next developmental leap.


• Darwin's theory of evolution is wrong. [ed note: !!!]


• For distances of more than 300 million miles, the greys use an interstellar rocket. Sarah had a sketch of one, and it was blunt nosed, truncated and had three tail fins. It reminded me of Thunderbirds. It takes three months to get here from the home planet. They can, of course, just teleport if they wish, but as they're very "communal" they like to travel together in a physical way.


• On shorter trips they use a conventional flying saucer, and Sarah showed us her sketch of this also. When in our atmosphere, the greys travel in a miniature version of the above saucer.


• They never allow their craft to be seen, as they have very efficient cloaking technology. UFO sightings cannot be attributed to the greys, definitely.


• There have never been any crashed saucers from their civilisation - they're far too smart for that.


• They have no bases here on earth.


• The long, hot summer was caused by the energy from their massed craft in our atmosphere.


• To Dan Bright's (ufologyinuk) question about residual alien artifacts: the pyramids of Giza and meso-America are their legacy.


• To Joe's (ufologyinuk) question about the Mars probes: no information on that, but will ask. They do know, however, that Mars once supported an intelligent civilisation.


• To several questions about the mysterious "energy" the greys seem to use for everything, including their propulsion systems on their anachronistic rockets: "don't know".


• There are male and female genders amongst the greys, but it's hard to tell the difference.


• Anyone can in theory be able to see the greys, but only if you are imbued with truth, sincerity, love and lack of fear and ignorance.


• All especially talented people (several historical luminaries were mentioned) are influenced by the greys, or are actually greys themselves in human disguise.

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The absurdity of excesive air traveler scrutiny

The New York Times blog on air travel--Jet Lagged--had a great editorial (The Airport Security Follies), on December 28th, by Patrick Smith, a commercial pilot and the author of Salon's "ask the pilot." Read the full editorial here.

"Six years after the terrorist attacks of 2001, airport security remains a theater of the absurd. The changes put in place following the September 11th catastrophe have been drastic, and largely of two kinds: those
practical and effective, and those irrational, wasteful and pointless. The
first variety have taken place almost entirely behind the scenes. Explosives
scanning for checked luggage, for instance, was long overdue and is perhaps the most welcome addition.

"Unfortunately, at concourse checkpoints all across America, the madness of passenger screening continues in plain view. It began with pat-downs and the senseless confiscation of pointy objects. Then came the mandatory shoe removal, followed in the summer of 2006 by the prohibition of liquids and gels. We can only imagine what is next."
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Alien Lore No. 120 - Jack Brummet observing an alien autopsy at Area 51

click to enlarge

click here for more Alien Lore links on All This Is That.

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Happy New Year: We start 2008 out at the Yellow National Security Threal Level

It's not DefCon 5, but here is what the TSA expects you to do during a Yellow National Security Threal Level

- Develop a family emergency plan. Share it with family and friends, and practice the plan.
- Visit www.Ready.gov for help creating a plan.
- Create an “Emergency Supply Kit” for your household.
- Be informed. Visit www.Ready.gov or obtain a copy of “Preparing Makes Sense, Get Ready Now” by calling 1-800-BE-READY.
- Know how to shelter-in-place and how to turn off utilities (power, gas, and water) to your home. Examine volunteer opportunities in your community, such as Citizen Corps, Volunteers in Police Service, Neighborhood Watch or others, and donate your time.
- Consider completing an American Red Cross first aid or CPR course , or Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) course .
- Review stored disaster supplies and replace items that are outdated. Be alert to suspicious activity and report it to proper authorities.
- Ensure disaster supply kit is stocked and ready.
- Check telephone numbers in family emergency plan and update as necessary.
- Develop alternate routes to/from work or school and practice them.
- Continue to be alert for suspicious activity and report it to authorities.
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Video (and lyrics): The Kinks' Apeman

Here is a video of one of my, say, top 20 Kinks songs (and the Kinks have to be in my top ten or 20 list of bands).

Apeman

I think I'm sophisticated
cause I'm living my life like a good homosapien
But all around me everybodys multiplying
Till they're walking 'round like flies man
So I'm no better than the animals sitting in their cages
In the zoo man
Cause compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees
I am an ape man
I think I'm so educated and Im so civilized
Cause I'm a strict vegetarian
But with the over-population and inflation and starvation
And the crazy politicians
I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man
I'm an ape man I'm a king kong man I'm ape ape man
I'm an ape man
Cause compared to the sun that sits in the sky
Compared to the clouds as they roll by
Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
I am an ape man
In man's evolution he has created the cities and
The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
And I'd be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
Cause the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man
I'm an ape, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
I'm a king kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
I'm an ape man
I look out my window, but I can't see the sky
Cause the air pollution is fogging up my eyes
I want to get out of this city alive
And make like an ape man
Come and love me, be my ape man girl
And we will be so happy in my ape man world
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
I'm a king kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
I'm an ape man
I'll be your tarzan, youll be my jane
Ill keep you warm and youll keep me sane
And well sit in the trees and eat bananas all day
Just like an ape man
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
I'm a king kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
I'm an ape man.
I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an ape man.

---o0o---

Video: Ruth Underwood is interviewed about her work with Frank Zappa (includes video clips of Ruth at the mallets)

Here is a YouTube video from a very moving interview with the great marimbist Ruth Underwood, along with clips of her playing and the great story of how Frank Zappa convinced her to "go electric. " Also includes a brief clip of Dweezil Zappa and Napoleon Murphy Brock:



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Nice poster: the Hillary money machine by Linda Eddy

A nice poster by Linda Eddy of the possible democratic front-runner.

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The closer we get, the more spooked I become: The Democratic race for President could be over in a few weeks and we failed to nominate Joe Biden

The closer this contest comes to resolution—and it may be coming very soon— the more I regret that Sen. Joe Biden has not surged ahead. I wish we'd all realized sooner that he is the President we actually want. What a decent, thinking, sensitive, and funny man Joe Biden is and has been throughout his long career in Washington! He's almost always on the right side, he knows how to play hardball, and it's impossible not to like the guy. And he is up against congressional lightweights like Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards—whose total congressional experience added up together doesn't even equal half of Biden's time. But, as correspondent Kev said, we know he doesn't have much of a chance...barring some tragedy or, say, a love child fostered between Hillary and Barack, Biden is pretty much dead in the water, with occasionally, hopeful, polling blips.

Unless things change dramatically, I will march off to my local caucus with the race decided. There will be pressure to go with the winner, but I'll vote for Biden and hope to convince enough other delegates to at least get one delegate from this state on his side.

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The return of Jenkem: a song by Tay Zonday: Chocolate Reign (a/k/a Choklit Reighn)

In this YouTube™ video, Tay Zonday performs his song Chocolate Rain/Choklit Reighn, a song about Jenkem. Jenkem is perhaps best described as an end-user delivery system for a psychotropic substance confected from human waste matter. We wrote about this earlier. . .here, and here, if you'd want to know more. On the whole, I think I'd prefer bourbon.



The Lyrics:

Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin
Chocolate Rain
The school books say it can't be here again
Chocolate Rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went
Chocolate Rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry
Chocolate Rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie
Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say
Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy 'livin in a gate
Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate Rain Made you turn your head the other way
(Chorus) Chocolate Rain History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again [Repeat]
Chocolate Rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio
Chocolate Rain
It's the fear your leaders call control
Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names Chocolate Rain Say it publicly and you're insane
Chocolate Rain
No one wants to hear about it now Chocolate Rain Wish real hard it goes away somehow
Chocolate Rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight Chocolate Rain But did they know each other in the light?
Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate Rain Stays behind as colors celebrate
Chocolate Rain
The same crime has a higher price to pay chocolate Rain The judge and jury swear it's not the face
(Chorus)
Chocolate Rain
Dirty secrets of economy Chocolate Rain Turns that body into GDP
Chocolate Rain
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
Chocolate Rain
But test scores are how much the parents make
Chocolate Rain '
Flippin cars in France the other night
Chocolate Rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai
Chocolate Rain
'Cross the world and back it's all the same
Chocolate Rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame
Chocolate Rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
Chocolate Rain
Which part do you think you're 'livin in?
Chocolate Rain
More than 'marchin more than passing law
Chocolate Rain
Remake how we got to where we are
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Video: Jesus celebrates his 2,007th birthday

I never got around to posting this YouTube video on Christmas Day, but here it is, a little late (like my Christmas cards):


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